Weekend Notes, and a Song. Sort-of.

Sep 2, 2019 | Posted by in Everyday Jade | 1

It’s hard to believe it’s the Monday of a 3-day weekend, that it’s the first part of September, and that it’s only two weeks away from our Grand Canyon Trek. This weekend did not go as planned: date night with Viper on Friday in which we all (his primary and her Top and Viper and I) all went out and did a thing together (with the kids); Saturday hike and farmer’s market with Ad and then him staying over, going into Sunday for a day of doing whatever; then Monday our last long hike before the Trek – 10 miles carrying our max weights in our packs, to test for our own limits before we get out there. Here’s what happened to that plan: Friday night I was still sick and exhausted, as I had been for three days, with allergies. The fireworks we thought were going to happen gotRead more …

At the Core…Why I Write

“I want to feel like that again,” I said to myself recently, after reading something (I can’t recall exactly what, more’s the pity) that was sexy and erotic and tantalizing and made me feel…well. Sexy, erotic and tantalizing. When had I stopped feeling that way? As I wrote that last sentence I had an answer in my head, and I almost wrote it out, but I won’t. I don’t want to do that here, to do that now. I just want to…write. To feel all those things I used to feel when I was writing. I want to be here, be real, be present – but leave behind the angsty Jade I have been. Yes, I want to be authentic, but I also want to shed the authentically angst-ridden person I have been recently. I don’t know if it is possible. On the other hand, why not? That sexy, sassy,Read more …

Perspective: #SinfulSunday #Boobday #LingerieisforEveryone

I’ve been up since 2:30 a.m. for some weird reason (reasons to come in a follow-on post) but I really wanted to participate in the various memes this week because…well because it’s f-ing August 16 and I haven’t even cracked open my blog, much less written anything. So I wrote some things between 2:30 a.m. and now, but I realized all-the-words weren’t really going to work for Sinful Sunday, where’s it’s all about the image, or for Boob Day, where it’s all about the boobs, or for Lingerie is for Everyone, where it’s all about the lingerie! Decided to save all the words for later and post some pics instead. So here they are! I do think they speak to the theme of “perspective.” Edit: Well shit, I thought Lingerie is for Everyone was a somewhat-perpetually open link-up, and that Hy’s Boobday link-ups now stayed open through Sunday, but apparentlyRead more …

Taking Back My Power

In the “better late than never – no really,” category, I’m chiming in on the SafeworD/s Club, “Tell Me About…” prompt for “Power Exchange.” Of course the meme has already closed, because that’s how I roll (ugh). But this topic is top of mind for me right now, as I navigate the ways in which V’s and my relationship has changed during this D/s hiatus. Power exchange, freely and consensually giving up one’s power to another, is a heady thing. It is at the core of being a submissive, of desiring to submit to another. To submit to, to give one’s power to, another. For me it is obviously sexual; perhaps not so obviously, it also has deeper meaning than just the sexual. When I started this with V, I stated, quite emphatically, that D/s was not what I wanted. I wanted a play partner. Someone to “do the thingsRead more …

#WickedWednesday – Pleasure

Jul 17, 2019 | Posted by in Kink &Scenes, Wicked Wednesday | 4

“How will I know you’re in pleasure, versus pain?” she asked, the first time we played. It’s a legitimate – and important – question, when negotiating a BDSM scene with someone new, for those on both sides of the slash. I’ve asked myself that when watching others’ scenes: How does the Top know that that person screaming is – though in pain – in a “good” place? That it’s good pain? That it’s even something like “pleasure”? I certainly can’t tell from my vantage point. Sometimes, in the midst of things, I can’t even tell if what I’m experiencing is pleasure or pain. She didn’t need to ask me when we played this time, though. She’d seen my dance, experienced me bouncing up on my tippy-toes and back down to the ground, arching my back and sticking out my ass in pure pleasure/pain. This pleasure, though, is different than whenRead more …

The thing I hate most about migraines is…

Jul 14, 2019 | Posted by in 2019 Smut Marathon, Kink &Scenes | 4

There really isn’t one thing. There are lots and lots of things. The pain The lost time The boredom The helplessness The inconsistency – never knowing how/when they will strike And tonight: Losing out on a great night with two amazing women at a play party, and Losing out on getting to vote for the first time in the Smut Marathon. I’d put a lot of time and effort and thought into the entries, but knew I was cutting it close by not actually putting my votes in when I knew which three I would choose. I had notes, though, and this time I wanted to post feedback in the form on the post. I had my feedback about halfway typed up, and took a break to hang out with my friends at the kink event we are at, sure that I’d be fine on time this afternoon. Then the migraineRead more …

Sometimes…

Jul 11, 2019 | Posted by in Writing About Kink | 3

…things just feel good. Not good like the perfect strike of a whip, or the rope that cinches down just the right amount, though for sure those times feel good too. I’m talking about the times that just seem to be balanced, seem to hold you in this warm bubble of contentment, of rightness… I’m headed out for a “girl’s weekend” at a kink event in a neighboring town. I’m pretty damn excited, especially as I orchestrated the whole adventure. Someone I met at Kinky Kollege last year, and with whom I hit it off and had a delectable scene, and someone local that I consider a good friend as well as someone I’ve been hoping to play with, and I are all going together. It’s crazy, considering the fact that I’m the introvert here! But here we are, less than 24 hours away from spending the weekend together. I’mRead more …

Erotic Humiliation

Good morning and happy Saturday! (I know, I know, this isn’t Saturday, but that’s when I started this, and I didn’t want to rework the beginning. I should never date my posts that way – it always takes me a couple of days to finish them, and then I’m stuck with this.) It’s a not blisteringly hot day (yet), and I’ve just walked across the park to a little coffee shop for breakfast and an iced latte. I’ve known about this place forever, have even eaten here a time or two, but it wasn’t until the other day, sitting here with Adam, my daughter and a couple of friends before Pride started, that I realized this is the writing spot that I’ve been looking for. I’ve been trying to find a place away from home to write, and although my preference would be to write at a friend’s sex-positive coffee+ shop,Read more …

That was yesterday…

Jul 4, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff | 2

Ugh…today is one of those days. Having a hard time mustering the energy or desire to pop out of bed. To face the world, to be productive. To human. I was on the Grand Canyon Trek training bus last week, putting in 5 miles a day at least either walking or hiking, then decided to give myself a day off on Monday, that turned into a night in bed with relationship drama last night, and today… Here I am. Kinda want to be anywhere but here. Well, maybe I want to be HERE – here is my bed. Sleep, sleep like the little gnomy guy, the one in the fairy tale. That really was yesterday morning. This morning I am sitting at the bar at one of my favorite breakfast places – not having a drink. Eating granola with banana and yogurt and nuts, drinking a decaf latte, feeling theRead more …

One day at a time.

Jul 2, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Relationship Stuff | 7

No this isn’t about drinking, but love can be like an addiction, and just as hard to keep away from, even when you know it’s bad for you. “Just get through these 8 hours without picking up the phone.” Sleep, read, try to write (or maybe, do write, and write well, since it’s Smut Marathon deadline time.) Distract oneself. Stay away from the phone. One hour, one day, at a time. The reality is – and one reason it is ending – is because, really, there are only two days – make that two evenings – per week to make it through, when I’d normally be with him. Because, bottom line, even after all this time – 4 years! – we are still only permitted two 12 hour blocks of time per week together. And that just isn’t enough to build a full relationship on, and I am tired ofRead more …