As many of you know, I took over the Scavenger Hunt meme from Curvaceous Dee when she shut down her sex blog a few months ago. (If you aren’t familiar with it, check out the linked information page – and join in the fun!) I’ve been slow to get it running again, but I’m getting back into the swing of things – and decided it’s time to swing my own bat as well and post one myself! 🙂
Viper and I had an unexpected date night the other night. We had been scheduled to go to our local kink group’s monthly party with his wife E, who was meeting her Dom there, but what with my back surgery and the struggles I’ve had to regain my physical strength (and a sense of myself as a still-kinky, still-sexy woman), I’d begged off. I probably shouldn’t have – at some point I need to face this particular bugaboo of mine – but I just couldn’t face all the everyone, doing all the things, and me being able to do none of them. And it’s more than “not being able to do the things,” it’s that V seemed unwilling or unable to construct or imagine a scenario in which he could play with me there. Previously in the week, during one of our daytime “games” (more on those someday) I’d asked him to come up with some creative play scenarios, hoping that he’d think of BDSM scenarios that wouldn’t compromise my physical condition but would still satisfy my need for play. He’s pretty clever, and he has an entire arsenal at his disposal (mental and physical) so I was excited to see what he’d come up with. Unfortunately he’d misunderstood what I wanted, and while his ideas were all interesting, they weren’t exactly what I was looking for, and I’d ended up feeling worse than when I’d suggested it, wondering if there really was nothing he could think of to do with me…or maybe he just didn’t want to. He has since reassured me that isn’t the case, but, well, no one likes to feel like a broken toy. And I have needs, damn it! (For those of you that don’t know me, imagine crossed arms, a pouty lower lip and a stompy foot. Oh, and pigtails wouldn’t hurt either. Yeah, it’s like that.)
Back to Saturday night. Earlier in the day I had expressed these feelings to E. One unanticipated but delightful benefit of this particular brand of poly is the friendship I have with her. She Tops me in play occasionally, but she is also a sub to her own Dominant, and a friend to me, and our friendship is multi-layered and always evolving. She totally grokked my feelings about not wanting to be there without being able to play. “I’m sure there’s something you could do,” she said, but I told her I’d asked V to come up with something and he hadn’t. She made a suggestion (did I like wax play?) but when I said he hadn’t mentioned it, she gave me a “look”: “You do have someone that could suggest it to him, you know.” Another bonus point for being poly! In the end I didn’t ask her to mention it, though…I’m still not comfortable with requesting play. Is it being a switch that makes it easier for both him and her to ask for play? She is very assertive about her wants and needs – or at least appears to be so. I wonder if she is like that with her Dominant about the play that they do. I wonder what that would be like, to be able to say, “Hey, I want you to do this and this to me…” Regardless, that is not me, so…I made no suggestions, and we ended up going to dinner and a movie instead of going to the play party. How vanilla, right? But okay, okay…I like being vanilla with him too and we had a great date night. 😉
And…truth to tell…it ended up being a pretty kinky night anyway when we got home, so there is that. 😀
But! Before we got to that, (and to bring this post full circle) V and I got a picture for the Scavenger Hunt at the movie theater, an SH that I’ve been dying to get for ages. It also happens to be my first Scavenger Hunt in this new blog space, and my first since I’ve taken over the meme, so I’m pretty excited to have done it.
Check out the other Wicked Wednesday participants as well!