Monthly Archives: August 2016

Catching Up

Author’s note: I’ve started and stopped this post so many times, written and pondered and wanted to finish it and not done so time and again. I finally gave it up as too long ago to matter, but now here I am again, though the “why” I’m back revisiting family relationships and dynamics is different: I’m staying at my mom’s this week to keep her company while my stepdad goes back East to sit vigil on his youngest sister, who has been in a coma since a heart attack last week, and who was diagnosed with inoperable, stage 4 lung cancer the month that this trip happened. I had never met her before this and now…I have bonds to this family that weren’t mine until this trip. I’m struggling to disentangle my feelings about it all. So this post begins with my musings from yesterday about all this, and thenRead more …

School Daze

Aug 25, 2016 | Posted by in Everyday Jade | 3

I joined – or rejoined – the ranks of adults returning to school tonight. For the first time ever I am enrolled in a university, as opposed to a community college. That’s right, I’m in with the big kids now, starting on the road to a bachelor’s degree. We’ll see how far down this road I get. Sometimes I am excited – I love to learn new shit! And it’s shit I want to learn (mostly.) And it is the start of (hopefully, maybe) a new career path. Sometimes I am terrified – WTF am I doing this for at my age?? Who do I think I’m kidding? I’m not smart enough or young enough for this. Mostly I am…resigned is not quite the word (too defeated)…but something close to it…to this course of action. I do not want to work my current job forever. I need to learn newRead more …

Scavenger Hunting on the Riverfront

Aug 12, 2016 | Posted by in Life Before, Scavenger Hunt | 2

This Scavenger Hunt goes back to the before time, when W was alive. As often as we planned our weekend rambles, we also took unplanned forays into the wilds of St.Louis, exploring different neighborhoods and places just because we happened upon them. This was during one of those walkabouts, when, quite by accident, I saw a path that led down to the riverside. W was enamored of the barges and the river, and would often regale me with stories of St. Louis’s glory days as a river town while we sat on a bench in one of the derelict parks that line the river; of course we had to explore it close up. That’s how we ended up here. It’s also where I found this: ​ ​ A storm drain spewing water from the recent rains into the mighty Mississippi River. Do you think I could resist scoring a Scavenger Hunt, evenRead more …

A Different Body

Aug 7, 2016 | Posted by in Everyday Jade, Sinful Sunday | 7

I’ve had these pictures for awhile now but haven’t found the time to post them.  These were taken during one of our twice-yearly kink events here in the Lou, so they weren’t taken specifically for this month’s Sinful Sunday prompt, “taken from below,” but they do kind of fit it, don’t you think? I mean, you couldn’t get the full effect of the staples if you’re weren’t shooting from below… What a weekend that was. I had spent Friday night in the hospital after an ER visit prompted by a herniated disc in my back. That Saturday morning, I had been released (with quite a bit of disgruntlement from the hospital staff and the neurosurgeon who would end up performing surgery on me) to get my labia rings removed, so they could perform an MRI to see the extent of the injury. But that night, with all my friends at theRead more …

Little Black Dress

Aug 6, 2016 | Posted by in Being Poly | 9

This is when I’m supposed to “lean into it,” right? Lean to the loneliness, accept being partner-less and alone here, even though, theoretically, I have two partners. No, not theoretically – I do.  Two partners that love and appreciate me. One I could even be sleeping with, if I chose – but he didn’t ask, did he?; the other has his own life and is ensconced in it, in bed with his partner by now. That is no doubt why he didn’t return my text telling him I was sad, and missing him. He’s tired, she’s tired, they have their night time routine. I’m just words on a phone. An interruption, and with that kind of message, not a welcome one. No wonder he didn’t reply. Why don’t I ask Adam if I could go sleep with him? Courtesy, mostly. He’d say of course, but he has to get up atRead more …

A Coddiwomple Sunday

Aug 4, 2016 | Posted by in Life Before, Memes & Prompts, Scavenger Hunt | 3

Adam and I have re-established what used to be a staple of our free time, when W was alive: the Weekend Ramble. It starts with an idea, a curiosity, an inspiration, and goes from there. I can’t adequately express how much I enjoyed those days with my Guys, and how deeply I have missed them. I am a true Scavenger Hunter at heart, whether that means creating the Calendar Game, bringing the Alphabet Challenge, Rope on the Run and Boobies & Bondage concepts from Fetlife to my blog, playing along with the 12 Days of Christmas, trying every local pizza joint, or junk shopping and yard and estate sale-ing for that perfect side table to refurbish. And, of course, participating in the Scavenger Hunt here. But more than that, it was an opportunity to simply let the day flow around us; to allow serendipity to be our guide; to share inRead more …

Memory Lane

I’ve had the weekend to mostly to myself, while Adam’s been working and Viper has his family in town. It hasn’t been bad; I’ve found I enjoy my free time, as well the time I have alone here at the Treehouse. I have surprised myself by enjoying my quiet time, and by allowing myself to simply experience the solitude, to experience the occasional pang of loneliness and nostalgia without judgement, to be here, to be present. It’s a study in mindfulness I would not have thought possible a year ago, or even before W died, when being alone was something to be avoided at all costs. Now…sometimes…many times…I crave it. I like sleeping alone in my big, soft, bed. I like waking up and doing my morning things in the still dawn, with no one else’s needs or desires to think about. I like sitting on my deck with my dogRead more …