Hullllooooo out there!!!!!
Whew. It’s been a wild and wooly ride these past…damn, what’s it been, 6, 8 weeks? But the Big Things that have been occupying my time/energy this past little while have all been wrapped up, and now I have oodles of time on my hands.
Okay, I exaggerate just a bit. What’s a step down from oodles? Noodles? Boodles? Whatever, that’s what I have. Some time.
What’s been keeping me so preoccupied, you might ask. (Go on, ask, please. It’s been so long since I’ve shared anything here…)
Okay, okay, don’t get pushy, I’ll tell you:
1. School. School school school school! Damn that programming class kicked my ASS! But it’s over now, at least for this semester. Took my final last night and…well, I survived the class. How well I survived is TBD. It took everything I had these past few weeks to finish it. Literally, every waking hour (except a few hours this past Saturday night and some time for the move/unpacking) was spent with my nose to the textbook, breaking my brain trying to learn to code in C++. I loved it when I was getting it, was frustrated with myself when I wasn’t getting it, and am contemplating redoing the entire book this summer on my own to make sure I get it better. And then, of course, it’s on to other learning challenges.
2. The Move. Yep, you read that right, I have moved from my beloved Treehouse. It’s still there, and I may take some Artist’s Dates there, but I am officially (eep, not officially, I haven’t had time to change my address officially anywhere, so not really “officially,” but…physically) moved to a new abode. I’ll tell you all about that in more detail later, but the short of it is that I moved back to Adam’s and my house in the city. It’s in a wonderful area (though like any city, it has its not-so-wonderful parts.) It’s two blocks from the Botanical Gardens and one of our large, lovely parks, within walking distance of a lively food-and-drinks district and just around the corner from one of my favorite wine bars. It’s also normal house size, so, as much as I enjoyed downsizing and living small, as much as I needed that small, safe space that was the Treehouse, I am very happy to be able to stretch out a bit now, to rediscover some of the things I gave up in order to live small. Also, I have a roommate!
3. Relationship Stuff. New roommate; some relationship-angst that kind of blew up into a major deal; a potential new love interest… When not focusing on the nuts and bolts of passing my class and all the ALL that is moving an entire house, my emotional energies were at turns drained and then rejuvenated by my various relationships, depending on the day/week/hour. I will share some of that here in a later post, too.
So now that all that is in the past (I am remembering being at Lion King with my Mom in April for her eightieth birthday and seeing that scene with Rafiki, “It’s in the past!”) I am, of course, embarking on new adventures. These include but are not limited to:
1. The Artist’s Way. Doing it as a group exercise. I am finding it invigorating, and feel it revving up my creative energies again. I hope that translates to more time here, or writing erotica. Speaking of erotica, I had a story accepted for publication recently, out of the blue! It hasn’t been given the seal of approval from the publisher yet, so I can’t pimp it out, but I will when the time comes. That was a delightful happenstance.
2. Renovating the House/Yard. Perhaps “renovating” is too strong a word, but it’s a 121-year old house, and it has not been gently used these past years, so it’s taking a bit of work to make it livable. And I’m enjoying every minute of it. It is, in a weird way, a connection to W. Perhaps more on that later too.
3. Soooo Many Things to Do! Fun stuff! Concerts, restaurants, friends, farmer’s markets, yoga in the outdoors, hikes and bike rides, gardening, all kinds of city activities… It is summer, after all. And I’m free!! Well, at least for a short while, because #4 is…
4. Another Programming Class. Either self-taught over the summer, or through a local program called Launchcode CoderGirl. I probably won’t be able to get into it (it’s really, super competitive), but if I do…uh, yeah…probably the rest of my life goes on hold for the foreseeable future again. But, CoderGirl! Saving the world, one line of code at a time! (That’s my tagline, not theirs. But that’s how I felt about the program after I got out of a first workshop for it.)
5. That Potential New Love Interest. There’s a new man hovering on the edge of my life. He’s a vanilla man, actually, and (yikes don’t judge) a co-worker. But he’s lovely, kind, considerate, interesting, a real gentleman, old-world style. He likes travel and poetry, plays music and cooks, lives alone and enjoys his own company. He’s been super sweet and helpful, and calms me in a new way. I’ve appraised him of poly, which he seems easy with, but have not told him about kink. I don’t know how to bring that up. It’s so very complicated. Sheesh, I haven’t dated a vanilla person in…well, ever, since I discovered kink. So yeah. There’s that.
6. The New Roommate! This is quite the adventure for me. I am very pleased to be sharing a house with her (Adam is here a couple times a week, but doesn’t want to live here full-time, which suits me, because a) I still spend a couple nights a week at V’s, and b) I also still cherish the alone-time I had gotten used to at the Treehouse.) She is a friend I have known for about the same amount of time as I have dated V, and I adore her. She had some relationship challenges recently, and I hope that living here will give her the opportunity to heal and move on. And there is so much potential for a deep friendship to form between her and I, something every human needs, I think, deep connection.
Last but certainly not least, there’s…
7. More Relationship Stuff. Yeah, there was some drama. Some self-generated, some I have to take ownership and responsibility for, and I do. But other parts of it I can’t, and I am having a hard time reconciling my need to be treated with fairness, to have my side of things acknowledged, with the way that it is being handled: you admitted you were wrong, that’s all that’s necessary. There is a part of me that just wants to give in and pretend it never happened and go on with how things are. Because that’s part of this: it’s not “go on with how things were.” It’s how they are now, which is vastly different from what they were, in a substantial way. Can I live with it like this? I don’t know. But that’s where we are now, and I’m trying to come to terms with it.
Boom! That’s my life in a nutshell right now. Hopefully, more to come as I have time and energy to expand upon these themes, but meanwhile, here’s a small glimpse of my new home.