Round about a month ago, I got the sudden impulse to see the ocean before the year ends. I know, I’d just spent five days in the mountains, and a long weekend at Lake Michigan this past summer, but nothing works to soothe my soul like the sound of waves, the smell of salt water, the sight of the endless horizon of the sea. Adam, being the lovely soul that he is, agreed to indulge me, and we planned a twelve-and-a-half-hour road trip to the Carolina coast on the spur of the moment. And that’s I ended up by the beach for four days over the New Year’s Eve weekend, and I couldn’t have been happier.
I had enjoyed my time with Les in the mountains, and felt I was very relaxed there, but after just a couple days away with Adam I realized I probably wasn’t as relaxed as I thought. Nothing compares to spending quality time with a person who’s known you for most of your adult life, and loves you anyway. And who you love right back.
It gave us time to recharge as individuals as well as as a couple. We took long walks on the beach, watched the sun rise over the ocean, played cribbage and Pokemon, ate some fantastic meals, drank a bit, danced and even played on a little in that particular that only he and I play when it’s only he and I. In other words, with lots of sass and giggles.
And we had a lot of sex. Like, every day! I thinks that’s more sex than we’ve had the entire six months before. Maybe longer. “It’s vacation,” he said. “And I’ve got you all to myself.”
We actually do spend more time together than V and I do – or we had, before my CoderGirl program started. After that, the time I needed to study came out of my time with Ad, or happened while he was here, and which in effect left him to hang out with my roommate or amuse himself. He is very happy to do both, but obviously he has felt the lack of “quality time.” I hadn’t even realized he was feeling that until he mentioned it as we snuggled in bed together one morning at the beach. Yes, women can be as oblivious as men. This is why it’s so important to SAY things, to speak clearly and definitively if your needs are not being met. No one is a mind reader. Had I realized he was feeling any of that, I would have been more conscientious about taking my homework time out of his and V’s time more evenly.
Or maybe not. I get so little “quality time” with V myself that what I do get I guard jealously. And the weird thing about that? Adam would agree, and not want me to take time away from V. He truly is that giving, that selfless. But that’s why, when I heard him say those words, I knew I have to make sure that the time we do have is special.
It’s easy to fall into ruts with a long-term partner. They know we love them. And it’s lovely to have a partner that we can just do the laundry around, snuggle on the couch and order pizza with. That we don’t have to be “on” for. But that doesn’t mean letting them forget that they are important. To forget that when we are with them, we owe it to them to be with them.
I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, but I do look back at the past year, and in looking forward to the present, set my intentions for the year. This year’s Word of Intent is “Health.” Do the things that make my body, mind and heart healthy. As Adam I lifted a glass of champagne on that cold beach on New Year’s Eve, I made the promise to be more present with him in this year, to make my love with him healthier.
Here are some miscellaneous images from our trip. Not all of them though…we did manage to squeak out some Scavenger Hunts, but you’ll have to wait for those!
Click on any image to open up the viewer.
Here’s to a happy, healthy New Year to everyone!