Breath – as in the breath that I am learning to take when I am triggered emotionally, before I respond with fight or flight. Learning that fight or flight isn’t the only option is an ongoing lesson in my world. In the past, any kind of “confrontation” would trigger all kinds of physiological and emotional responses – heart racing, hands shaking, face flushing, brain stopping, anger or anxiety exploding. Classic fight or flight. Which might be necessary in a true fight or flight situation. But for some reason, somewhere in my reptilian brain, any kind of adverse reaction: criticism, a denial, an argument, a change I wasn’t prepared for, as well as legitimate conflict, got classified as “fight or flight” situations, and I reacted – not always in appropriate ways. It’s hard to undo what feels like something hardwired in my brain, but taking that first breath is the first step to gaining control of the reactions.
Breath – as in Stop, Breathe and Think, a guided meditation app that teaches and assists in mindful meditation. Diligent use of it over the last few months has been instrumental (I believe) in helping with the above.
Breath – what I huff and puff up and down the 3 flights of stairs in my office to the basement restroom (getting back IN shape is a lot harder than getting OUT. Whodathunk.)
Breath – as in his, on the back of my neck, when he comes up behind me after a good whipping.
Breath – as in mine, in relief when I feel his because I know it’s over. Unless, of course, he tricks me and starts again.
Breath – what I try to catch when he shoves his cock down my throat, cutting all breath off.
Breath – what he steals when covers my mouth and squeezes my nose shut, then sucks all mine out.
Breath – as in play (see above), or, later, in bed, when he closes his hand over my mouth and nose, staring down into my eyes as he pumps into me, watching as my eyes widen, and then as I start to struggle, grinning and releasing me just when I start to get frantic, then comes inside me, both of us gasping.