Monthly Archives: April 2018

G is for Goodbye

Apr 7, 2018 | Posted by in A-Z Blogging Challenge, Life Before | 2

“Goodbye Norma Jean,” in particular. Why that? Well. Let me tell you. I’d been flailing about for a few days, reaching for, and never quite finding, a good “G” word. Of course there is “Gratitude.” And that is always an important one for me to muse on, to internalize, to write and think about. But…every other word so far has felt like…inspiration. A gift, urging me to write, in a time when writing hasn’t been a thing. How do I explain it, when a thing is so important to you…when it’s such an integral part of you that imagining it gone is inconceivable…and then it is. Gone. Just like that. A neat, precise incision cut out of your very center, like with an apple corer. A hole punched in you. That was how my writing has been for me. Until just these last few days. I don’t know what itRead more …

F is for Fantasy & Frustration

Apr 6, 2018 | Posted by in #30DayOrgasmFun, A-Z Blogging Challenge, Kinky Stuff | 0

Fantasy Do you have a specific, go-to, tried-and-true, always-gets-you-there fantasy? I have several from before-V, and since he came along he has somehow managed to corrupt me even further with some of his. I can’t say the ones he’s implanted in my brain don’t get me off – because obviously, they do – but they delve into some darker corners of sexual fantasy that make it uncomfortable for me to admit to enjoying. And it’s not exactly enjoyment (even as I am orgasming.) Maybe the being uncomfortable with it is part of what gets me off about it. He has said that the fact that I fight against enjoying these things so much is part of his pleasure in forcing me to use them as wank material. And frankly, I don’t know if I get off because of the material, or because he forces me to use it. So I amRead more …

E is for Everything

I go from nothing to everything in the blink of an eye. One day I’m not writing at all, not participating in any blogging memes, not even thinking about writing for publication again…the next I’m in a daily writing challenge, mulling over new calls for submission, and writing like a mad woman. I’ve barely exercised for weeks and all of sudden I have joined a yoga studio, have downloaded a daily exercise app, and am looking at a biking challenge. I don’t go to the grocery store or cook at home for weeks, and then I lose myself in the grocery store for two hours, carefully planning out each breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next week two weeks. And oh yes, lest I forget: I have decided to also participate in a daily orgasm meme. Manic much? No, it’s not that. But I do reach a point of saturation,Read more …

D is for Divulge

Apr 4, 2018 | Posted by in A-Z Blogging Challenge, Everyday Jade | 0

How much do you divulge to a new acquaintance? Someone who you have not met thru the usual alternative channels? Except for work and school, with their artificial spheres of friendship and camaraderie, I haven’t made a potential new friend outside those spaces in…I don’t know how long. Today, I did. Well, not exactly today. I’d met her a couple weeks ago. We were both at my Tuesday morning coffee shop, me with my laptop to ostensibly get some programming done before work, she with hers to (I was to learn) do an interview over Slack for a programming job. She saw the program I had up on my screen when she walked behind me to get to her table, and after a moment, asked me what language I was programming in. Being me, I was flustered and promptly forget every programming language out there. I think I may haveRead more …

C is for Catastrophe

I’m going to take author’s license here, and use the Wicked Wednesday prompt word in a decidedly not-anything-that-the-word-means way. But it’s a play on the word (sort of) that works in my world right now, and fulfills both the Wicked Wednesday prompt and today’s A-Z Blogging Challenge letter.  And it’s really not “wicked” in any way, but I’m trying to get back to participating more… So what the hell am I talking about? Well, I’m using the first part of that word, “cat”…and the rest, though it’s not exactly a “catastrophe”, is a bit more than I bargained for when my roommate and I first started feeding her…the cat…the feral cat… Before the roomie and I moved in, we had rented our house to my daughter and her boyfriend for two years, before said boyfriend stated he could no longer live in the city, and they moved out to aRead more …

B is for Breath

Apr 2, 2018 | Posted by in A-Z Blogging Challenge, Everyday Jade | 1

Breath – as in the breath that I am learning to take when I am triggered emotionally, before I respond with fight or flight. Learning that fight or flight isn’t the only option is an ongoing lesson in my world. In the past, any kind of “confrontation” would trigger all kinds of physiological and emotional responses – heart racing, hands shaking, face flushing, brain stopping, anger or anxiety exploding. Classic fight or flight. Which might be necessary in a true fight or flight situation. But for some reason, somewhere in my reptilian brain, any kind of adverse reaction: criticism, a denial, an argument, a change I wasn’t prepared for, as well as legitimate conflict, got classified as “fight or flight” situations, and I reacted – not always in appropriate ways. It’s hard to undo what feels like something hardwired in my brain, but taking that first breath is the firstRead more …

A is for Arousal

Reading Marie of Rebel’s Notes’ Sinful Sunday post today reminded me that April is the month for the A-Z Blogging Challenge. I participated one year a few years ago, and another year we played our own A-Z blogging game, our public-rope-themed Alphabet Challenge (which was way more fun than any three people should be allowed to have together, and gave me so many wonderful memories with W – all chronicled in my then-blog, Kink and Poly.) I am still awed by the sheer volume of writings I did there, by the friends I made through that blog, by the way it not only chronicled our lives – W’s, Ad’s and mine, as well as my children’s and others who we came into contact with – through the years, but by the way it informed our lives together. It was, in the way that a location sometimes becomes a character of its own inRead more …