I actually managed to get up and stay up at 6am this morning. Now, I was at V’s, and his alarm goes off at 5:15 or 5:30, and we lay there and snuggle and slowly wake up until he leaves the the bed between 5:45 and 6, so it’s a bit different than when I’m home alone at my house. When I try to do that “wake up slow” routine when I’m alone, I just fall back to sleep. At his house, for some reason, it’s easier. But still. This is the first time in months that I’ve actually got up and done my whole morning routine:

  • Drink water.
  • Do stretches.
  • Practice mindfulness/do my devotion.
  • Take my pills.
  • Start my day.

With this writing challenge, I want to add morning writing to that as well. Today I left V’s early so I could get in to my office and write, but I really want to write at home before I start my day.

I think, once I get through to the part where the writing itself is a habit, the next challenge will be to find something to write about every day. Something that isn’t me saying, “I have nothing to write about so I’ll just write nonsense.” It seems like writing was so much easier in the “before” time. See, it’s tricky when what I used to write about was the things that happened in my life, but a) those kinds of things (the kinky things) had a different kind of intensity, so lended themselves to the kind of narrative voice I maintained on K&P, but that I haven’t been able to find here, and b) the other kinds of things, things about my daily life that involve the people in my life and being poly, I am unable to write in detail about. So I am stuck in some ways with only the, “I went to the doctor today,” and “I am sticking to my diet plan,” or “My sister and I took a girl’s trip to Kansas City,” if I am writing daily. Not being able to write more authentically about my life is a consistent frustration, to be honest, and the restrictions I am under nip at the joy I have found in blogging again. I wish there was a way to write completely openly, the good and bad, and have only those people that don’t know all of us IRL read it.

Anyway. I’m sitting in my office now, and it’s a ghost town. Nearly everyone has gone to San Diego already for our big yearly conference; I’m left holding down the fort until I leave tomorrow morning. REALLY early tomorrow morning. And – hah! – I’m not even packed! Though I do have all my “event” clothes and work clothes picked out: a cocktails-on-the-terrace dress, an awards banquet dress, a communication-department-dinner dress, black slacks and skirts, blouses and sweaters for the workdays. It’s “what to wear” while doing whatever I’ll be doing on my own Saturday day and night that I’m fussing over. I want short and flirty for the day time, but then I have to think about shoes, because my plan is take off from the hotel and walk until I can’t anymore, all over, stopping to window shop or for a bite to eat, for a glass of wine or an ice tea, to read someplace where I can hear, see and smell the ocean. Later, maybe, I will dress up a bit more and take myself out for a good dinner and a drink or two…but again, I want to walk, and dressing-up means heels so…what to do?

<pondering>

First world problems, right? I am sure it will all turn out fine, though just this moment, I am having a bit of sheer anxiety about the trip. It will be 4 days and 3 nights alone (except for workmates) and I already miss Viper. What will I do without our constant communication? Without our little rituals, without him keeping tabs on me?

How did I become such a ninny?

Later…

Well, that problem is solved. He has sent me a text with instructions for me that will keep us connected while I am gone, without being so arduous that I can’t manage them while working the conference. Also, he has given me “travel” instructions for earning orgasms and allowing myself to stray (very occasionally) from my food/drink restrictions. Since they involve writing, and I have to write here daily anyway, some of that may end up here, on the blog. Hey! Something to write about! <grinning foolishly>

As for Adam, I see him tonight, so I haven’t started to miss him yet. I am sure I will, round-about Sunday. But hopefully the conference will be in full swing then and I will be preoccupied. Oh! And he has a DATE while I’m gone! I think…maybe…he even instigated it! I’m so proud of him. :-D

Later still

Just hung out at Food Truck Friday in the park with Ad. Food! Trucks! Beer! Cupcakes! And cribbage and the park and a beautiful Friday evening.

Except now I have to pack.

And leave at 4:30 am.

<sigh>

I better get to bed.

San Diego, here I come!

 

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