I swear I was going to go highbrow, and write about my daughter: D is for Daughter, because yes, I am incredibly blessed and so very thankful to have the relationship I do with her. But…well damn…I’ve been thinking about sex and play and kink for the last few days, and I kinda want to write about that. I’m a Bad Momma, what can I say.
Viper and I (and Adam, when he chooses to participate) are lucky enough to have several spaces in which to play. I wouldn’t call all of them “dungeons” but they each have their own flavor, and we play differently depending on where we are. I feel fortunate that we have so may different ways and places to express what we do and how we do it, and who we are when we do it.
So. D is for Dungeon. All the various dungeons we play in.
- Our local group, Flog (Fetish Lifestyle Open Group), is a monthly social & play party that is open to anyone with an interest in BDSM. It’s a good place for “beginners” to start (and in fact hosts a “newbies” table.) It was where I got my start, way back when, and where, on my very first night, I met the leaders of the group, who are close friends even now. But it’s also a place that people return to, month after month, and year after year, not just to play, but to socialize with others, some of whom we only see at the parties. It’s a place to feel safe in who you are and to learn more about the lifestyle. For many people, this is the only place they have to do the things we do; the only place they have access to the BDSM furniture and the space to play, without alarming the neighbors or waking the kids (this was my ex and I, way back when.) If Adam is going to play with us, this is where he usually does it. He hasn’t ever played with me alone there, but he plays with Viper, double-topping me. It’s a strict nips-and-naughty-bits covered place, and no sex, so that means it’s just a straight-up whupping, which I like as much as I like – and need – the sexy kind. It’s also public, and with my two guys I garner a little bit of attention usually, which feeds my exhibitionist kink. When I want public play, or particularly hard play, this is my preferred venue. V tends to play harder here, and Adam as well – I think it is a venue that feeds their enjoyment of play as theater as well.
- There is an other local group that has a playspace. They aren’t “public” – they require a person to be “vetted” and voted into the group (a process that I find offensive, but gave in to in order to get access to their playspace for Adam and I.) I can’t quite say that theirs is a “dungeon” either, though it is much closer, as it has a space with mostly-permanent play stations. But still, more of a playspace than a “dungeon.” (Shite, I must have some hard and fast criteria for a dungeon, eh?) Anyway. they have a monthly-and-then-some play party in their space, which, since it is private, allows nakedness and sexual play. Interestingly, though I got our memberships for Adam and I to have a place to play (specifically on the weekend night that V goes to another play party with his wife) he and I have never played there. Viper and I have, though, on other party nights – but, again, interestingly enough, our play hasn’t been sexual there. It’s an interesting conundrum, and possibly a result of how the space feels to us? I don’t know.
- There are a couple other place spaces and parties that I don’t frequent often (two or three weekends a month are about my limit.) But they deserve an entry here because I *have* played at them, and enjoyed them quite a bit. One is a local strip club that does a Fetish Night. W and I used to go there occasionally. It was…a totally different experience. He would…showcase me. Flaunt me. Put me in rope or in predicament situations that would get me noticed, by vanilla and kinky folk. But he didn’t feel comfortable “playing” with me there. Too many “lookie-lou’s” that he didn’t want to subject to our flavor of play. I haven’t been back since Viper. It’s a Thursday night and conflicts with our Mon/Thurs night switch-off. I’ve been invited without him (more than once) by friends/playpartners of mine, and by a couple of girlfriends to go, but it’s on the East Side and I’d have to drive, and…well fuck. I have to work in the AM. Ha. I’ve gotten old. But I’ve thought about it! Another is an “invitation-only” party that I haven’t got to attend. V’s wife has attended twice now, once with him (V) and once with her own dominant. I’m kind of getting the feeling that it’s another one of those spaces that is “hers” and that I’m not welcome.
We are fortunate here to have a local “private” house party to attend. It’s a monthly affair, and there is an actual “dungeon” in the basement. You have to be invited and vetted to this one, as well, but none of this “voting” shite with the other group. You’re either ok or you aren’t.
Viper and I have had some of our most intense public scenes there. Sexual, humiliation, rope, pain, pushing boundaries…he fucked me in the ass for the very first time at our very first party there…in the bathroom, making me watch him in the mirror. I still feel helplessly aroused when I think of that scene. And it is another space that he and Adam excel in double-topping me. But it can also be a less-than ideal playspace when people are moody or tense or not getting along, which unfortuanely seems to be often – it’s a party that *all* of our polycule attend, and there are often shifting…emotions…between people. Being super sensitive to everyone else’s emotions, sometimes even when it’s not pointed at me, I suffer from the backwash. And as a result some of our worst public scenes have been there as well.
I have the great good fortune of having an Owner who has his own “mini” dungeon set up in his house. In his basement, which of course qualifies it as a legitimate dungeon. <smirk>
I love having the space to play hard and then get fucked after. I like to get beat, but I also love that feeling when he tosses the whip aside, undoes his pants and pushes me against the cross, whether or not I am ready for it. Or, as I lay in a boneless heap at his feet, when he hauls me over between his legs to suck his cock. These are not expressions of my own lust (although they often feed off of and satisfy my needs) but of another kind of submission: of the desire, even in my ravaged, brutalized state, to please him. In any way in he wishes. And that can only be done in a space such as this.
We also play at my space, but it’s not dungeon-like. It’s just my room, and a few toys, and him teasing/taunting/spanking/whipping me until we have sex. I am even less likely to get a good beating there – but I am sure to get a good fucking with a little bit of BDSM.