Who Is Pieces of Jade?

Q is for Quarterflash

Anyone remember the song “Harden My Heart” by Quarterflash? https://youtu.be/Aqd61YG-P10Damn but it’s a great song. I thought so then, and I still do. I like songs of women standing up to asshole men. Walking away when they aren’t treated right. I haven’t known very many of that kind of man, actually. I’ve been blessed with a surfeit of good men in my life, even my exes, except for one: my first husband. And yet I was wild about that man(child). Crazy in love with him, and he with me, except when he was drinking hard alcohol. Then he was obsessed with me, insanely jealous, and I was afraid of him. I don’t think of him often, but that song was playing in some bar or restaurant the other night and for just those few moments I was transported back in time – jesus, more than thirty years ago. I wasRead more …

The struggle is real – but it’s not insurmountable

Mar 13, 2018 | Posted by in Everyday Jade, Who Is Pieces of Jade? | 1

I’ve been struggling a bit lately; had a bad week where all I did was sleep (and still wanted more); where I couldn’t manage too much peopling (still limiting that as it really drains the few emotional resources I have); didn’t have an interest in anything: not exercise, not sex, not BDSM play, not writing, not work, not school, not meal planning or cooking, not crochet. Even committing myself to mindless binge-watching was too arduous – I couldn’t manage the thinking that my usual binge-worthy shows required. But little by little, I’m clawing my way out of it. Not all at once, and not with giant leaps, but with careful, considered, baby steps. And I want to congratulate myself for these steps, however small. Because they aren’t always easy to take when all I want is my pillow-and-blanket fort. Sometimes I need a little pat on the back, a littleRead more …

The Ides of March. Also, Sex, Love & Submission.

March is always hard (if always means “since W died”). This one is no exception. Not harder than the others, and perhaps, on the “W died in March and that makes March a goddamned sucky month” front, it’s probably getting…something like easier. But this particular March has been fraught with other angst-inducing phenomena (health issues, relationship issues, family issues), and, to top it off, the weather is gray and drab and weeps misery, so, in some ways, it has been worse. Can’t I deal with only one sucky thing at a time?? I’ve spent pretty much every day dragging my sorry ass out of bed, clocking time at work like a zombie, then crawling back into my blanket-and-pillow fort to sleep 11 or 12 hours a night, before making myself do it again. But okay…after seven days of this bullshit, I decided to get myself out of bed and DORead more …

A New Year’s Eve at the Beach

Round about a month ago, I got the sudden impulse to see the ocean before the year ends. I know, I’d just spent five days in the mountains, and a long weekend at Lake Michigan this past summer, but nothing works to soothe my soul like the sound of waves, the smell of salt water, the sight of the endless horizon of the sea. Adam, being the lovely soul that he is, agreed to indulge me, and we planned a twelve-and-a-half-hour road trip to the Carolina coast on the spur of the moment. And that’s I ended up by the beach for four days over the New Year’s Eve weekend, and I couldn’t have been happier. I had enjoyed my time with Les in the mountains, and felt I was very relaxed there, but after just a couple days away with Adam I realized I probably wasn’t as relaxed as IRead more …

Labels

Sep 21, 2017 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Who Is Pieces of Jade? | 1

I learned a brand new-to-me term for a poly partner: anchor partner. I’m familiar with primary partner, of course, and nesting partner, but “anchor” is a new one to me. I believe it encompasses exactly what role Adam is in my life, though. I’ve never had an issue with labels. Language and the words we use are how we communicate ideas to one another. Unlike some people, I don’t feel that a label is necessarily limiting, nor does it have to be all-encompassing. To me, a label is a starting point. A place where we can pause and reflect, and then expound upon it – or not – as needed. When I was with W and Adam, W insisted on a hierarchical approach to labeling our relationships. Adam was “primary,” W was “secondary.” He insisted on it being that way. But it was not very long before I knew thatRead more …

So much to say…

I’ve heard  from a couple of friends, wondering where I am, if I’m well. I am. Well. And thinking about writing all the time. But then…I don’t. I get busy with school and work and life and the urge to record the doings of my life just isn’t there. I don’t know what to say anymore. I don’t know what to talk about. My life is good, my relationships are stable, I’m “rolling the ball forward,” as V says. But I don’t have anything very interesting to write about. I loved writing about sex. And it’s not like we don’t have good sex. Some pretty spectacular sex. But I don’t often find myself driven to talk about it here. I loved writing about kink. It’s not like we don’t have our brand of kink. Sometimes it’s kinky as fuck. But, again, I don’t often find myself compelled to share thoseRead more …

A Room with a View

Changes. They happen to all of us, whether we like it or not. What’s that saying? “The only constant is change”? I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately, as I try to navigate the swelling of the waves in the ocean of my life lately. “Don’t rock the boat too hard,” V said the other day. “You’ll tip it over.” There are days when I want to tip it over, when I want to dive down, down, down into the icy deep and just stay there where it’s safe and quiet, where the crashing waves don’t batter and toss me about. Sometimes, my life feels like that: turbulence punctuated by lulls before the next line of waves. This is my retreat, my refuge, when life feels overwhelming. When I feel like I can’t manage another bump, another nudge from life trying to prove it’s bigger than me and willRead more …

That Girl

Jun 12, 2016 | Posted by in Who Is Pieces of Jade?, Wicked Wednesday | 3

Confession time: I’m “that” girl, the one that dropped all her friends the moment she got a new boyfriend. When I fell, I fell hard, and nothing mattered to me but that I wanted to spend all my time with the new love of my life, oftentimes to the (near) exclusion of everyone else in my life. As I am also one of those women that has seldom been without a lover, either male or female, it’s usually meant that my closest friends have almost always been my lovers, boyfriends, Dominants or husbands. I have friends, and did then as well, but they have always been secondary in my life – at times a far, far secondary. I’ve socialized, attending parties and get-togethers, I’ve gone to birthday parties and weddings and out to dinners and the like, but my world – and my identity – has always been deeply andRead more …

Where ya been, Jade?

Jun 6, 2016 | Posted by in Everyday Jade, Who Is Pieces of Jade? | 8

Whew! Been trying to write this damn update for I don’t know how long. Have been stymied by…life? Indecision? Fear that ya’ll be bored with the little trivialities of my life? I dunno. Srsly! Why can’t I write here??? That drivel up there ▲▲▲ is all that seems to come out of me. But I’m here! Doing things! Thinking about things! Living this full and interesting life, sometimes (I think) made even more interesting by how very different it is than what came before. I mean, in some ways it’s not as kinky, true. I don’t get to play as often as in my old life (which could be because of health issues – explanation coming) and tho we do have kinky-ish sex fairly often…there just seems to be a lot more “relationship-ing” than straight-up kink than in my previous life. It has more moving parts and more complexity involving figuringRead more …