Who Is Pieces of Jade?

Washington, D.C. & Beyond

Nov 10, 2018 | Posted by in Everyday Jade, Who Is Pieces of Jade? | 1

Author’s Note: I meant this to be a day-by-day, but, as so often happens when I plan or make a commitment to this space – I failed. So…while Saturday was actually written on Saturday, the rest…is not actually on the day-of. I traveled to D.C. early Saturday, in advance of a conference I am attending Mon-Thurs for my work. Saturday I’m sitting here in D.C., in a little studio AirBnB, snugged beneath one of the stately brownstones(?) that line these lovely, tree-lined streets. I spent all day walking this neighborhood and the ones nearby (7.5 miles!) after arriving at 9 this morning. I had gotten up at 4 a.m. to catch my 6 a.m. flight here, after getting about 3 hours of sleep…I might have been a bit punch-drunk most of the day. But I wasn’t, not really. I was in the moment, engaged, marveling that I was there –Read more …

A Magical Weekend, or the Weekend of the Misplaced Bra

Sep 11, 2018 | Posted by in Everyday Jade, Who Is Pieces of Jade? | 2

So much magic. So many connections. So many things happened – even when they seemed to be a “bad thing” – in just the right, perfect way. Today, as I left, in just the airport, I met and talked to a fascinating woman at the bar for an hour about all the things. I have no idea why she decided to talk to me. She just took the stool next to me and the next thing we knew we were talking about…hell. Everything.  Work and life and jobs and divorce and satisfaction and new loves and old; about being happy or being content, and whether they were the same thing. About taking chances. About living, truly making the choice to live, not just survive. Then there was the guy in line that commiserated with me when I couldn’t hear the announcements for onboarding the plane. For 15 minutes while weRead more …

More Ocean. Sort of.

Sep 4, 2018 | Posted by in Everyday Jade, Life Before, Who Is Pieces of Jade? | 2

I’m sitting here at my computer in my 3rd-story room, looking out over the dark city streets, while Ad and Felix slumber in my bed. We have had a full weekend already, with yet another day of fun planned, but I am unable to sleep. I hope three fingers of Fireball and this posting will give me some respite. Ever since the prompt for the last Kink of the Week, I have been – carefully – sorting through images of the ocean/beach vacations I have taken. So many beaches, so much life lived. So much joy. And, looking at the ones with W, so much…  Not sorrow, but…I don’t know. Nostalgia. Longing for what might have been; for what was lost. I look at those images and I can almost feel my hands cupping that beloved face; almost see his grin, still see the love shining in his eyes. IsRead more …

The Lure of the Sea

I was born in California. I did not, however and contrary to what most people seem to think when I tell them this, live near the ocean. There were very few beaches in my childhood, as a matter of fact, but there were enough to instill in me a lifelong love of the sea and “big water” as I often call it. Does that make the ocean a kink of mine? I think not, though I have done a lot of kinky things by the sea. And it’s not only the ocean, it’s any big body of water, although I by far prefer the sea. I was born in the Bay Area, but not anywhere near the water. I spent the first 7 or 8 years of my life in one or another of the nondescript, endlessly sprawling, “bedroom communities” of San Francisco. (That’s not as sexy as it soundsRead more …

Twelve days between kisses

He actually said those words to me. Or, okay, typed them. But. I know, it’s not that freaking long. I mean, I really know.  I do not intend to imply that it’s anywhere near the kind of misery that people who have to endure weeks and months apart endure. Hell I was there when W had to go stay with his ailing mother for months on end. But… This feels different. I know, I know, I said something similar back then, when W and I struggled to stay connected through the long weeks of his absence. And, truth is, this is not the first time V and I have been separated for this length of time. It happened in the first 6 weeks that I knew him, as a matter of fact. But… This feels different. W and I had a very deep, very intimate D/s relationship. How I feltRead more …

The Reluctant Masochist

Jul 24, 2018 | Posted by in Kinky Stuff, Who Is Pieces of Jade? | 2

masochist [mas-uh-kist] noun Psychiatry. a person who has masochism, the condition in which sexual or other gratification depends onone’s suffering physical pain or humiliation. a person who is gratified by pain, degradation, etc., that is self-imposed or imposed by others. a person who finds pleasure in self-denial, submissiveness, etc. Twenty years or so ago, when I started all this kinky stuff, I would never have described myself as a masochist, nor ever thought I would. I liked what we did, it turned me on, and I felt sexy and alive and desirable while we did it, but I never really thought my reaction was masochistic. I thought it was sexual, and it made my head feel good, and made the squirrels in my brain slow down for a while, or even shut them up completely, but that didn’t mean I liked pain. I loved the connection between the Top and me,Read more …

Strategy 101

Jul 4, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Who Is Pieces of Jade? | 0

I’m not good at strategy games. Chess is so far beyond my ken as to be a game played in a foreign language. I just can’t think that far in the future, can’t begin to anticipate my own moves, much less anyone else’s. And I have absolutely no desire to manipulate people or situations. In case it isn’t abundantly clear, I’m talking about how I manage myself in relationships as well. I’m not good at games where each side is premeditating and calculating every move. When I try to anticipate, to do something that will effect a specific result, I invariably fall short. Yes, I can see a little ahead. I’m not blind to consequences and how what I do now affects what happens later. But I’m not good at strategizing. At planning my moves to achieve a certain outcome. And I don’t necessarily want to be. I mean, IRead more …

Q is for Quarterflash

Anyone remember the song “Harden My Heart” by Quarterflash? https://youtu.be/Aqd61YG-P10Damn but it’s a great song. I thought so then, and I still do. I like songs of women standing up to asshole men. Walking away when they aren’t treated right. I haven’t known very many of that kind of man, actually. I’ve been blessed with a surfeit of good men in my life, even my exes, except for one: my first husband. And yet I was wild about that man(child). Crazy in love with him, and he with me, except when he was drinking hard alcohol. Then he was obsessed with me, insanely jealous, and I was afraid of him. I don’t think of him often, but that song was playing in some bar or restaurant the other night and for just those few moments I was transported back in time – jesus, more than thirty years ago. I wasRead more …

The struggle is real – but it’s not insurmountable

Mar 13, 2018 | Posted by in Everyday Jade, Who Is Pieces of Jade? | 1

I’ve been struggling a bit lately; had a bad week where all I did was sleep (and still wanted more); where I couldn’t manage too much peopling (still limiting that as it really drains the few emotional resources I have); didn’t have an interest in anything: not exercise, not sex, not BDSM play, not writing, not work, not school, not meal planning or cooking, not crochet. Even committing myself to mindless binge-watching was too arduous – I couldn’t manage the thinking that my usual binge-worthy shows required. But little by little, I’m clawing my way out of it. Not all at once, and not with giant leaps, but with careful, considered, baby steps. And I want to congratulate myself for these steps, however small. Because they aren’t always easy to take when all I want is my pillow-and-blanket fort. Sometimes I need a little pat on the back, a littleRead more …

The Ides of March. Also, Sex, Love & Submission.

March is always hard (if always means “since W died”). This one is no exception. Not harder than the others, and perhaps, on the “W died in March and that makes March a goddamned sucky month” front, it’s probably getting…something like easier. But this particular March has been fraught with other angst-inducing phenomena (health issues, relationship issues, family issues), and, to top it off, the weather is gray and drab and weeps misery, so, in some ways, it has been worse. Can’t I deal with only one sucky thing at a time?? I’ve spent pretty much every day dragging my sorry ass out of bed, clocking time at work like a zombie, then crawling back into my blanket-and-pillow fort to sleep 11 or 12 hours a night, before making myself do it again. But okay…after seven days of this bullshit, I decided to get myself out of bed and DORead more …