Being Poly

Thoughts on non-monogamy and stories from my own polyamorous life.

#AtoZChallenge – R is for…Realization, Risk & Rules

Wow, when I started brainstorming an “R” word, I had no idea that there were at least THREE memes with wonderful R words all ready for me to take on. Hold on to your hats, folks, this might be a long one. (Being cooped up for days in the aftermath of surgery, with lots of pain medication and nothing else to do might account for my long-winded-ness too. Who knows.) First up… Realization From The Erotic Journal Challenge, “Realization – Write about a time when you realized something about your sexuality.” I’ve tried looking back to find the one pivotal moment when I realized that I might be…different…than other people that I knew in regards to sex (I was raised in a very small town where, if there was any hint of any kind of sexual “deviancy,” it was well-hidden.) I think the best I can do is maybe just listRead more …

#AtoZChallenge – N is for No

“No” might seem to be an odd thing to be grateful for. Especially for a submissive woman who really likes to please. But in the past year I have learned the power of no – even when it hurts or isn’t want I want to hear or say. I’m not talking only about my own “no’s.” My No’s I have finally realized/accepted a truth about myself. I used to think I was shy, although I admit, even then, it didn’t feel like it quite fit. I learned, particularly in the past year, that what I am is an introvert. That doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy socializing. When I finally do get myself “out there,” interacting with people in a social setting, I enjoy it very much! But my enjoyment has a very definite window of opportunity, and when that window closes, I’m done. It could be three nights inRead more …

Forward by the scruff of my neck

I’m moving forward, if incrementally, into a more stable emotional space. I am hoping that feeling better will spur my motivation to write, as well – you know, like the sexy, naughty stuff – but we will see. At the moment, I’m not feeling any sexy, naughty stuff, much less doing any sexy naughty stuff, so it’s kind of a moot point, but, you know, it could happen. Or I could write fiction. As it stands, V and I are kind of in a holding pattern. We’re not off, but we’re not exactly on, either, as I struggle through the emotional morass I have found myself in. We’re holding still. We’re communicating (sometimes a lot) and mostly in healthy ways, and still seeing each other our two times/week. Last weekend we even saw each other in the middle of a weekend day (gasp.) But things aren’t entirely – or even remotely –Read more …

What if?

Mar 14, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Boob Day, Everyday Jade | 0

When things were a bit better, recently, this happened. It was part of the night that this and this happened, and was a lot of fun. After getting roped up and my bra on, prior to dressing, I looked down at the pretty red rope, soft gray bra, and my pokie little nipples and decided they deserved a post of their own. So now you get to enjoy them too for Boobday! I guess I should clarify, actually, that things aren’t bad. In fact, in spite of my blog post earlier this week, they are very, very good in many ways. I mean, this happened just Monday: “This” being me getting walloped with Viper’s belt (mmph, just saying those words in my head makes my pussy twitch a bit) while I was still holding my crochet project. No time to put it down, just him pushing me over and deliveringRead more …

A Rough Couple of Days

Mar 11, 2019 | Posted by in 2019 Smut Marathon, Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 3

Or weeks, I guess. It started with a weekend alone that didn’t turn out the way I planned during which my blogs both crashed and I was faced with the possibility of them not being recoverable. In the face of that I was overwhelmed with feeling like I’m nobody’s priority. Things just went downhill from there. So here I am, ten days into March and I haven’t written a word since my last 2019 Photofest post on Feb. 28. I’m proud I finished it out, and I was proud of my entry and ranking for Round 2 of the Smut Marathon, but the bottom line is I just haven’t had it in me to write much. Maybe, as As Hy said in her Boobday post Friday, I blew my writing wad with the Photofest. But I know there is more to it than just that. The debacle with my sites beingRead more …

More mash. Or maybe it’s mish…

At times I find (most times, lately) that I have to make myself sit down here and write. I feel vaguely ashamed of this admission. Writing – this blog and the many short stories I wrote – used to be my life. Truly. Though I got burned out at times, even then, I was so incredibly proud of what I had built at K&P. It was more than just the followers I had. Though “You like me! You really like me!” certainly described how I felt about it. It was even more than the salacious pleasure I got from knowing I could share these bawdy adventures, this crazy life, and people would read it. People would fantasize about it! It was even more than knowing it made W feel to read my accounts of what we’d done, knowing others were reading about it. (Yeah ok, maybe we were shallow thatRead more …

Here and Gone

Oct 21, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff | 0

Fall always creeps up on me, surprising me (though lord knows by now it shouldn’t) with its steadily decreasing sunlight, and bringing with it the gift of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). I feel querulous, easily-agitated and lethargic; I find it hard to focus at times and experience anxiety far more frequently; my sleep patterns are disrupted and the sleep I do get is usually broken. I’ve started taking a prescription at night again to help me sleep, something I haven’t done in months, although I feel like I want to stay in bed all day, every day. I’m on a combination of two meds, at a low dose, year-round. My previous primary and I had finally found a combination that didn’t mess with my sexual appetite or ability to orgasm, and was low enough that I didn’t feel zombified, so I’d be willing to take it year-round, instead of goingRead more …

A pause, a moment, a breath.

I woke this morning from a dream I had in which W was alive, only to remember that he wasn’t in the moments after I woke. That’s always a painful moment, when the realization hits – oh, wait, he’s not here anymore. This time, unlike some others when he has shown up in my dreams, I didn’t have the bittersweet joy – albeit short-lived, whist dreaming – of talking to him, of seeing him, of experiencing him alive once more, because in this dream I didn’t get to talk to him. I dreamed I was trying to each him via cell phone, but could not. I woke, reaching for my phone, to text him – “Call me!” Of course he never will. I don’t feel the overwhelming sadness at that thought that I used to, now. It comes with the understanding that our time has passed; that his time has.Read more …

Escape

Oct 6, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff | 2

I wrote this earlier today, needing a break from menial tasks at work, and feeling by turns drained, frazzled & heartsick at the things that are happening politically in my country. I think, more than anything, I just want to escape that, I want this nightmare regime to be over, I want things to be better again. I want Trump and all his pussy-grabbing cronies to be gone. But the knowledge that Kavanaugh will certainly be confirmed means that they will have a hold on our world for much, much longer than it takes to oust Trump, and I am sick about it. The very worst that I feared from this election has come to pass. I am heartbroken and sickened. And I just want to escape. But, I realized, after coming home and working out and taking a nap and assessing my life, I don’t want to escape my life,Read more …

A Self-Care Champion

Damn I’ve been doing a lot of writing lately. Well, not “writing” writing – you know, hot, steamy, messy, sexy writing – but lots of the writing that I originally created my blog for. It didn’t start out as a sex blog. I think that evolution happened with W. I was having all these amazing sexy encounters (with accompanying pics) and…well, I wanted to show them off. What we were doing, in images and words. I have never been able to color inside the lines, though, so my blog became a story as well, not just a series of encounters. It became the story of our lives – W’s, Ad’s and mine – as well as an account of all the sex we got up to. I really wanted to write about relationship dynamics, about being poly in a mono world, about being kinky in a non-kink world, and IRead more …