Being Poly

Thoughts on non-monogamy and stories from my own polyamorous life.

Day 8 – Connections

Today’s prompt for Insta’s #DearJune is connection. I love the prompt. There are so many ways I can go with this. But…not in my Insta (this is the ongoing, internal, debate I have: make a Pieces-of-Jade Insta? But what about my daughter and other vanilla people who now follow me?) Forging those connections, and then keeping them separate, is fucking hard. It’s why I mostly stopped doing it with friends and sister. I fucking HATE having to cover up. And I SUCK at it. I’ve been pretty open on my FB. I’m pretty sure most of anyone who friends me knows I am poly. But this other thing…kink…  No. I have a lot of friends that accept me as poly, and even bisexual, but I just can’t be out there as kinky. It’s NOT that I am ashamed of what I do. It’s that I don’t feel comfortable sharing my sexRead more …

Day 7 – Risks

I’ve missed and/or jumbled up my days. My participation has not been 100% on #DearJune either, but I’m okay with that. Well, I think about it a bit, because I couldn’t be me if I didn’t let it bother me a little, but not so bad as it might have done. I give myself a frowny face and then move on. Anyway, here’s the post I made on Instagram for (what I think was) Day 7, the prompt being “risks.” On the heels of a post that felt entirely appropriate at the time – and I will not deny my own experience of things – but in the light of day I realize was…an emotional reaction, and possibly not the best representation of the situation…this post means a lot to me. It reminds of the risks I took when I decided to give my submission and my love to another.Read more …

I’m here (Oops, Day 5)

Jun 6, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Every Damn Day in June, Everyday Jade | 1

I’m writing. On my phone. Because no energy to sit up and do this the right way in my Chromebook. Just wanted to confirm that yes, I’m here, I’m writing, cuz it’s June. And…well you know the drill. I’m better. Or getting there. V and I talked. The past – and the mistakes made – are not things that can be changed. The present is what it is, and I have no control over anyone else’s decisions or actions, only my own. I’ve gotta let go of both of those things and be in the here and now, for my own happiness and mental health. So here I am. Doing the thing. We’ll see how it goes.

Waiting for the tide to come in.

May 27, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff | 7

I was thinking about writing a Masturbation Monday tonight, but realized I don’t have it in me just now. I did work on my entry for the Smut Marathon, so there’s a spark of sexiness floating around out there, but really, it’s a feeble spark, and easily doused. It’s been that way for several weeks now. No sex, no kink, no erotic energy to speak of. There’s lots of reasons – life has been chaotic in ways just not conducive to sexiness – but damn. I miss it. I can’t remember the last time I had a good BDSM scene. And Saturday night’s sex with V was the first in almost the same amount of time. I feel like we’ve forgotten what that kind of energy feels like. And though I know (hope) it will come back, there’s this fear that it won’t. Kind of like the D/s has notRead more …

#AtoZChallenge – W is for a Wonderful Weekend of We

I am home after the long weekend. Had a great time, in spite of my initial “traveling alone” anxieties, which, as I drove home today, seemed so silly and out-of-proportion. Who was that that had felt all that? But, hindsight is always like that; I recognize, in the now, looking back, that that is anxiety’s job, to blow up every fear and insecurity into looming beasts. I’m getting better about recognizing that in the moment, though, too, and taming the anxiety beast with appropriate self-care, so there’s that. It’s all a process. In spite of those initial rough moments, the weekend blossomed in lovely, unexpected ways. There was the right amount of kink and play, the right amount of togetherness between V and I, Ad and I and the three of us. The three of us had a very satisfying scene on Friday night, and V and I spent aRead more …

#AtoZChallenge – R is for…Realization, Risk & Rules

Wow, when I started brainstorming an “R” word, I had no idea that there were at least THREE memes with wonderful R words all ready for me to take on. Hold on to your hats, folks, this might be a long one. (Being cooped up for days in the aftermath of surgery, with lots of pain medication and nothing else to do might account for my long-winded-ness too. Who knows.) First up… Realization From The Erotic Journal Challenge, “Realization – Write about a time when you realized something about your sexuality.” I’ve tried looking back to find the one pivotal moment when I realized that I might be…different…than other people that I knew in regards to sex (I was raised in a very small town where, if there was any hint of any kind of sexual “deviancy,” it was well-hidden.) I think the best I can do is maybe just listRead more …

#AtoZChallenge – N is for No

“No” might seem to be an odd thing to be grateful for. Especially for a submissive woman who really likes to please. But in the past year I have learned the power of no – even when it hurts or isn’t want I want to hear or say. I’m not talking only about my own “no’s.” My No’s I have finally realized/accepted a truth about myself. I used to think I was shy, although I admit, even then, it didn’t feel like it quite fit. I learned, particularly in the past year, that what I am is an introvert. That doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy socializing. When I finally do get myself “out there,” interacting with people in a social setting, I enjoy it very much! But my enjoyment has a very definite window of opportunity, and when that window closes, I’m done. It could be three nights inRead more …

Forward by the scruff of my neck

I’m moving forward, if incrementally, into a more stable emotional space. I am hoping that feeling better will spur my motivation to write, as well – you know, like the sexy, naughty stuff – but we will see. At the moment, I’m not feeling any sexy, naughty stuff, much less doing any sexy naughty stuff, so it’s kind of a moot point, but, you know, it could happen. Or I could write fiction. As it stands, V and I are kind of in a holding pattern. We’re not off, but we’re not exactly on, either, as I struggle through the emotional morass I have found myself in. We’re holding still. We’re communicating (sometimes a lot) and mostly in healthy ways, and still seeing each other our two times/week. Last weekend we even saw each other in the middle of a weekend day (gasp.) But things aren’t entirely – or even remotely –Read more …

What if?

Mar 14, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Boob Day, Everyday Jade | 0

When things were a bit better, recently, this happened. It was part of the night that this and this happened, and was a lot of fun. After getting roped up and my bra on, prior to dressing, I looked down at the pretty red rope, soft gray bra, and my pokie little nipples and decided they deserved a post of their own. So now you get to enjoy them too for Boobday! I guess I should clarify, actually, that things aren’t bad. In fact, in spite of my blog post earlier this week, they are very, very good in many ways. I mean, this happened just Monday: “This” being me getting walloped with Viper’s belt (mmph, just saying those words in my head makes my pussy twitch a bit) while I was still holding my crochet project. No time to put it down, just him pushing me over and deliveringRead more …

A Rough Couple of Days

Mar 11, 2019 | Posted by in 2019 Smut Marathon, Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 3

Or weeks, I guess. It started with a weekend alone that didn’t turn out the way I planned during which my blogs both crashed and I was faced with the possibility of them not being recoverable. In the face of that I was overwhelmed with feeling like I’m nobody’s priority. Things just went downhill from there. So here I am, ten days into March and I haven’t written a word since my last 2019 Photofest post on Feb. 28. I’m proud I finished it out, and I was proud of my entry and ranking for Round 2 of the Smut Marathon, but the bottom line is I just haven’t had it in me to write much. Maybe, as As Hy said in her Boobday post Friday, I blew my writing wad with the Photofest. But I know there is more to it than just that. The debacle with my sites beingRead more …