Being Poly

Thoughts on non-monogamy and stories from my own polyamorous life.

Of Subdrop & Self-Care

Dec 5, 2017 | Posted by in Being Poly, Kinky Stuff, Life Before, Relationship Stuff | 2

Whoa…it’s been awhile since I’ve had a bona fide case of subdrop. Long enough that I can’t really remember when it last was. I didn’t even drop after the event a few weekends ago, when I spent two full days and nights with both guys, got cut on, and beat up, and made to fuck a dragon cock in public while Viper shoved a glass dildo up my ass. Oh, and I happened to be wrapped up tight in neon pink vet-wrap so that I looked like an amputee. With a ballgag in my mouth and vet-wrap over my eyes too, up on a table where a dungeon full of kinksters could watch as I was made to fuck myself silly, grinding helplessly against Baldy, the dragon cock in my pussy and V pushing the glass wand in and out of my ass. It’s that part that is most embarrassing,Read more …

Sleeping Single in a Double Bed

Oct 2, 2017 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Life Before | 0

I love my bed. My bedroom is not quite the sanctuary that the one in the Treehouse was, though it’s getting there. But my bed! Newly purchased for this new space (the iron canopy wouldn’t fit), with a new comforter and (as usual) more pillows than any human has a right to, I LOVE snuggling down into it, burrowing myself into the pillows and blankets or starfishing and sleeping crooked. It’s hard to get out of bed in the morning. Not just cuz I’m sleepy, but because I don’t want to leave the comfort and sweetness of my bed. Mostly, I sleep there alone. In all the seven years that I was with W, I maybe slept alone three times. I was always with one or the other or both. And I loved it. I hated sleeping alone. But now…now I sleep alone more often than not, and most often,Read more …

Labels

Sep 21, 2017 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Who Is Pieces of Jade? | 1

I learned a brand new-to-me term for a poly partner: anchor partner. I’m familiar with primary partner, of course, and nesting partner, but “anchor” is a new one to me. I believe it encompasses exactly what role Adam is in my life, though. I’ve never had an issue with labels. Language and the words we use are how we communicate ideas to one another. Unlike some people, I don’t feel that a label is necessarily limiting, nor does it have to be all-encompassing. To me, a label is a starting point. A place where we can pause and reflect, and then expound upon it – or not – as needed. When I was with W and Adam, W insisted on a hierarchical approach to labeling our relationships. Adam was “primary,” W was “secondary.” He insisted on it being that way. But it was not very long before I knew thatRead more …

Three Men in One Day

Aug 4, 2017 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 0
hearts on a clothesline

I had to go in for a minor medical procedure yesterday. They put me out, so I needed a ride to the hospital and back home, and then someone to stay with me till they were assured of no ill effects from the anesthesia. Boyfriend 1: Comes over bright and early to pick me up. He changed his work schedule around so he could drive me. He sits with me while they prep me and poke me and ask me questions; he’s there when I wake up, listens to doctor’s instructions and takes me home to tuck me in for a nap afterward. Boyfriend 2: Calls me before I leave, having re-worked his morning routine, getting himself up an hour early so he would have time to talk on the phone with me before I went to the hospital, then showed up – surprise! – while I was in recovery.Read more …

I think I can.

Jul 20, 2017 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 2

I think I can do this. No, I really do. I think I can be happy. I think I can be content. I think I can accept what is, without pining for what is not. There’s been many times in the past – what’s it been, almost 2 years? – that I haven’t been sure of that. That I’ve doubted and wondered “why” and wished I was anywhere, in any other relationship(s), than the one(s) I am in. That it was all too hard, too complicated, too not-what-I-wanted out of my relationship(s). Out of my life. Sometimes I still feel that way. I love Viper and would be devastated not to have him in my life and I adore and crave the D/s dynamic we have created; I still love and appreciate Adam as much as I ever did (if not more so), even after almost 18 years; and IRead more …

Boundaries with the Romantic Guy

Jun 26, 2017 | Posted by in Being Poly, Kinky Stuff | 0

Once upon a time, what seems like eons ago, I wrote this as the beginning of a new blog post: “I am embarking on yet another new adventure tonight, and as I do so I am filled with trepidation and a sharp longing to be back in the “old days,” the days before he died, my days with Warren. I am missing him so much in this moment that it’s hard to muster up the excitement I felt yesterday when I finalized my plans; or even the nervousness of last night when I contemplated what will most likely happen tonight. So what exactly am I doing tonight? I’m having what I consider to be my first “real” date with the “potential love-interest” I mentioned in an earlier post. It’s been awhile since I went on a first date. It’s been an even longer while since I dated a vanilla person.”Read more …

Dirty Innocence

I laughed a bit to myself when I decided to post this for Sinful Sunday. I mean, it’s just not all that sinful, right? And yet…I find the image oddly sexy and yet comforting at the same time. This is me, now – this is my dirty-girl-ness, so unlike it was back then, when I masturbated on a dirty, grimy floor while W pissed on me.  And yet, sitting on the deck overlooking my little city yard, cooling off after spending the morning on my hands and knees gardening, I am happy. Yes, happy and content with my life. There’s a little more to this story, I suppose. I sent this to my new guy, the Romantic, maybe I shall call him, who is at least nominally vanilla. I guess at some point I need to fill ya’ll in on what’s been going on on that front. But for now, sufficeRead more …

Hello from the Big Easy

Jun 9, 2017 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Scavenger Hunt | 1

Guess where we are! A work conference has brought me to New Orleans. The Bear and I are AirBnB-ing it for a couple days before we must decamp to the conference hotel and I have to put in a couple two or three 12-hour days, endure cocktail parties and an awards banquet, and oh yeah, pretend to be vanilla. My job is the one space in my life where I am not completely out, though I am making inroads on the poly front. I’m excited to be exploring a new city with Ad. We’ve both been here before – me most recently for a weekend-long swinger party with W – but that was a lifetime ago. This trip is so far removed from that that it might have happened to a different person. So Ad and I are exploring it afresh, and making it our own. This guidebook was left onRead more …

Space of My Own

I am always always always late on these Wicked Wednesday posts, even when they are something I want to write about. Even though I get the email as soon as Marie Rebel posts the prompt. Maybe I should make that a blogging goal. I have decided to make myself modest (very modest) writing goals this year, because, in the past, that has worked to some degree for me.. Nothing like the goals I have set in the past (a story a month submitted for publication? How crazy was that? Even crazier that every one of them got published…) but something to work for, something to give me a little boost whenever I make a goal. So? Maybe doing – at minimum – the Wicked Wednesday prompts. We’ll see. Still cogitating on that one. Anyway, I digress. This past Wednesday’s prompt was about “space.” The prompt talked about space like, youRead more …

Too Little

I walked home in the unseasonably warm temperatures tonight, trudging across the common ground between my building and Adam’s in a one piece pajama suit and my tennis shoes. I’d had laundry to do; we’d had dinner and watched The Magicians together. It’s a weekly ritual – the washer and dryer are at his place, as is cable TV and the dog. But I always come home to the Treehouse, because I can’t sleep with the dog – even tho sometimes I do, here at my place, when I can talk Adam into bringing him over and staying the night. We have settled into a routine. Monday night is school and then I’m out at V’s; Tuesday we sometimes do dinner at my place or go out, but Adam usually goes home afterwards so that I can study; Wednesday is as outlined above. Sometimes he comes back over with me,Read more …