Being Poly

Thoughts on non-monogamy and stories from my own polyamorous life.

Primaries and Hierarchical Poly

May 25, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 1

I’ve been doing a lot of painting lately, which lends itself to a lot of rumination. And what I’ve been pondering the last few weeks is the notion of “primaries,” in relationship structure. In particular, my relationship structure with Adam. Adam and I have been living apart for some time now (a little over a year.) And as I’ve noted, I really enjoy my solo life – and in addition, I enjoy the time I do spend with him a lot more. I’ve finally structured my life in a way that works for me: I see V twice a week, with him over at my house 2 Mondays a month and one weekend night (I’d like this to be more flexible, with some daytime activities or additional time thrown in there, but for now I am okay with things); I see Adam one weekend night and one weekend day, plusRead more …

Moving along in the alphabet…

Sooo…I got as far as “U” before life intervened again and blogging fell by the wayside. I had actually written words up to “X” but just couldn’t find the time to edit images to go with them and actually get them posted. By now they feel outdated. So, maybe I will just do a wrap-up and leave it at that… But seriously. This has been my life: 7 am – wake 8 – 5 am – work 6 – whenever – work on O & E’s house 9 or 10 pm – home to bed This is the first evening I took off to do the things I need to do: plant my garden, spend time with Adam, think about something other than tasks and projects at O & E’s. It’s weird being this involved in the renovation, sale and purchase of homes that aren’t mine…that have been made veryRead more …

S, T, U…

OMG I have been running non-stop since the Thursday before last. The last update I made, as I sat poolside in Vegas, may have been the last moment I had to just sit and contemplate things until now, and even now I am sneaking in this writing while I am at work. So yeah, the #AtoZBloggingChallenge fell by the wayside — though I kept up (more or less) with my daily orgasms, which effort may be chronicled here in future if I ever get time to do so. BUT…since I still have one day left in April, I thought I’d try to fill in the alphabet gaps between the letter R and the letter Z in one extended blog post. Just because. Author’s note: I only got through to U before I had to take a break. Sooo…there will be more to come, because I’m stubborn like that! S isRead more …

Just Because I Feel Like Writing

Jan 11, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 1

I don’t have a theme to this post, or anything in particular I need to get off my chest, to work through, to say. I’m just feeling…chatty, I guess, feeling like nattering on about inconsequential things, something I haven’t done here in quite awhile. Sometimes it seems like everything I write here has to be “Important” with a capital “I”, or that I am so bound up in things that are happening and desperate to walk my way through them in writing (because that’s how I work things out best) that everything I write is heavy with the weight of its own significance (at least to me.) But tonight…no, I just feel like writing. I was so inspired I couldn’t even wait until I got home (though once here I did do two hours of homework before I allowed myself blog time.) Here is what I “wrote” via voice whileRead more …

A New Year’s Eve at the Beach

Round about a month ago, I got the sudden impulse to see the ocean before the year ends. I know, I’d just spent five days in the mountains, and a long weekend at Lake Michigan this past summer, but nothing works to soothe my soul like the sound of waves, the smell of salt water, the sight of the endless horizon of the sea. Adam, being the lovely soul that he is, agreed to indulge me, and we planned a twelve-and-a-half-hour road trip to the Carolina coast on the spur of the moment. And that’s I ended up by the beach for four days over the New Year’s Eve weekend, and I couldn’t have been happier. I had enjoyed my time with Les in the mountains, and felt I was very relaxed there, but after just a couple days away with Adam I realized I probably wasn’t as relaxed as IRead more …

Of Subdrop & Self-Care

Dec 5, 2017 | Posted by in Being Poly, Kinky Stuff, Life Before, Relationship Stuff | 2

Whoa…it’s been awhile since I’ve had a bona fide case of subdrop. Long enough that I can’t really remember when it last was. I didn’t even drop after the event a few weekends ago, when I spent two full days and nights with both guys, got cut on, and beat up, and made to fuck a dragon cock in public while Viper shoved a glass dildo up my ass. Oh, and I happened to be wrapped up tight in neon pink vet-wrap so that I looked like an amputee. With a ballgag in my mouth and vet-wrap over my eyes too, up on a table where a dungeon full of kinksters could watch as I was made to fuck myself silly, grinding helplessly against Baldy, the dragon cock in my pussy and V pushing the glass wand in and out of my ass. It’s that part that is most embarrassing,Read more …

Sleeping Single in a Double Bed

Oct 2, 2017 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Life Before | 0

I love my bed. My bedroom is not quite the sanctuary that the one in the Treehouse was, though it’s getting there. But my bed! Newly purchased for this new space (the iron canopy wouldn’t fit), with a new comforter and (as usual) more pillows than any human has a right to, I LOVE snuggling down into it, burrowing myself into the pillows and blankets or starfishing and sleeping crooked. It’s hard to get out of bed in the morning. Not just cuz I’m sleepy, but because I don’t want to leave the comfort and sweetness of my bed. Mostly, I sleep there alone. In all the seven years that I was with W, I maybe slept alone three times. I was always with one or the other or both. And I loved it. I hated sleeping alone. But now…now I sleep alone more often than not, and most often,Read more …

Labels

Sep 21, 2017 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Who Is Pieces of Jade? | 1

I learned a brand new-to-me term for a poly partner: anchor partner. I’m familiar with primary partner, of course, and nesting partner, but “anchor” is a new one to me. I believe it encompasses exactly what role Adam is in my life, though. I’ve never had an issue with labels. Language and the words we use are how we communicate ideas to one another. Unlike some people, I don’t feel that a label is necessarily limiting, nor does it have to be all-encompassing. To me, a label is a starting point. A place where we can pause and reflect, and then expound upon it – or not – as needed. When I was with W and Adam, W insisted on a hierarchical approach to labeling our relationships. Adam was “primary,” W was “secondary.” He insisted on it being that way. But it was not very long before I knew thatRead more …

Three Men in One Day

Aug 4, 2017 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 0
hearts on a clothesline

I had to go in for a minor medical procedure yesterday. They put me out, so I needed a ride to the hospital and back home, and then someone to stay with me till they were assured of no ill effects from the anesthesia. Boyfriend 1: Comes over bright and early to pick me up. He changed his work schedule around so he could drive me. He sits with me while they prep me and poke me and ask me questions; he’s there when I wake up, listens to doctor’s instructions and takes me home to tuck me in for a nap afterward. Boyfriend 2: Calls me before I leave, having re-worked his morning routine, getting himself up an hour early so he would have time to talk on the phone with me before I went to the hospital, then showed up – surprise! – while I was in recovery.Read more …