Being Poly

Thoughts on non-monogamy and stories from my own polyamorous life.

Two Weeks-at-a-Glance

Jul 28, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Kinky Stuff, Relationship Stuff | 2

I started using a daily journaling app on my phone so I can quickly jot down what I do each day. Not journaling like here, but more bullet points to jog my memory. Or that I can refer back to when I’m struggling to remember what the heck I did last Thursday, or what happened on a certain play date (“Was that the time you made me push the ball around on the floor, or the time I had to roll the dice to see what implement you were going to use next?”) The cool thing is that it connects with my calendar, the gps on my phone, with Facebook and my photos app automatically. It has an activity feed that shows where I was when, and pulls in any FB posts or pictures I took, and then I review it, decide if I want to keep it, or atRead more …

Strategy 101

Jul 4, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Who Is Pieces of Jade? | 0

I’m not good at strategy games. Chess is so far beyond my ken as to be a game played in a foreign language. I just can’t think that far in the future, can’t begin to anticipate my own moves, much less anyone else’s. And I have absolutely no desire to manipulate people or situations. In case it isn’t abundantly clear, I’m talking about how I manage myself in relationships as well. I’m not good at games where each side is premeditating and calculating every move. When I try to anticipate, to do something that will effect a specific result, I invariably fall short. Yes, I can see a little ahead. I’m not blind to consequences and how what I do now affects what happens later. But I’m not good at strategizing. At planning my moves to achieve a certain outcome. And I don’t necessarily want to be. I mean, IRead more …

June 17 – The Heat is a Vampire

Jun 17, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Every Damn Day in June, Everyday Jade | 0

The end of another weekend. I like my job, so it’s not dread that I feel about going in tomorrow (I’ve been in that job before) but I am…weary. I wish I could just stay home. Why don’t I have a life where I don’t have to work 8-5?? (Don’t answer; stupid question.) It’s been a good weekend. Full of good poly time, good time with V, good time with Ad. Got a few house things done, some walking done, some talking and cooking and brunching and enjoying life done. But it’s been so damned hot it feels like any kind of movement at all saps my energy and my will to move or engage. Every movement might be my last for awhile as I recup from the heat. Ad has been over since Saturday (two days in a row!) and it’s been mostly nice. Sometimes it’s been frustrating. LikeRead more …

Black

I waited until my packing was *somewhat* complete before I turned on my laptop to write, but then the damn thing told me it has a “major” update. I told it to update overnight last night, but I guess it only did part of it, because it’s been installing updates now for 30 minutes and it’s only at 4%. It’s also telling me, “this WILL take awhile,” (emphasis mine), but that’s telling, as it usually says this “may” take awhile, and then takes forever. It may not be done until I get back from San Diego next week. But perhaps making me wait to write is for the best. My mood was black and who knows what vitriol I would have spewed forth on these pages if I’d sat down to write then. For now my ire is contained, and besides, it’s hard as fuck to write eloquently or forRead more …

Dear Younger Me…

Today is a better day. I woke up eager to write, in fact so much so that I left V’s house early so I could come in early to work to do so. I’d forgotten how much I like to be in the office before anyone else. Our hallway is dark, their offices too, this side of the building is quiet. It’s not that different when they are here, to be truthful, but without the extra bodies it’s just…peaceful. Oh, ha, I know why it feels good: it reminds me of working from home. It reminds me of getting up in the morning just at dawn in the Treehouse. I miss it there, sometimes. How colorful it was, how peaceful up there in the trees. I don’t miss not being able to walk everywhere; not having a wonderful park right in my neighborhood and the Botanical Gardens practically next door;Read more …

And another challenge

Jun 4, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Every Damn Day in June | 0

This time, my own – the challenge I feel to write when I feel like I do right now. I don’t like to write here when I feel like everything is shit. When I’m down, when it feels like nothing will work out right, I don’t want to pollute this space. Also, I am very aware that words I write here are not private. I always have to censor myself to a degree. And frankly, it’s hard to do when I feel like this. I have, in fact, written this post 3 or 4 times and deleted how and why I am feeling the way I am. But it’s Every Damn Day, so here I am. There was retail therapy this afternoon. I know, not a good way to deal with emotional distress. But I got some adorable dresses out of it. Of course it will cause more angst when theRead more …

When even a massage doesn’t help.

May 31, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff | 0

This evening my massage therapist asked me what I’d like to get out of my massage, and I said, in complete honesty, please just take me out of my head. I had had a rough day on multiple fronts, not the least of which was my car – after I had driven it away from the mechanic, supposedly fixed – doing the same thing that had gotten it towed to the mechanics in the first place. Back to the drawing board. There were other things, too, interpersonal things, relationship bullshit that I really think we should all just be beyond, and just general life crap. Sometimes, really? I want to just say fuck it and walk away. Unfortunately this tale doesn’t have a happy ending like, oh she was so amazing all my worries were massaged away! Nope, instead she chatted the entire massage. I’ve had her before and notRead more …

Primaries and Hierarchical Poly

May 25, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 1

I’ve been doing a lot of painting lately, which lends itself to a lot of rumination. And what I’ve been pondering the last few weeks is the notion of “primaries,” in relationship structure. In particular, my relationship structure with Adam. Adam and I have been living apart for some time now (a little over a year.) And as I’ve noted, I really enjoy my solo life – and in addition, I enjoy the time I do spend with him a lot more. I’ve finally structured my life in a way that works for me: I see V twice a week, with him over at my house 2 Mondays a month and one weekend night (I’d like this to be more flexible, with some daytime activities or additional time thrown in there, but for now I am okay with things); I see Adam one weekend night and one weekend day, plusRead more …

Moving along in the alphabet…

Sooo…I got as far as “U” before life intervened again and blogging fell by the wayside. I had actually written words up to “X” but just couldn’t find the time to edit images to go with them and actually get them posted. By now they feel outdated. So, maybe I will just do a wrap-up and leave it at that… But seriously. This has been my life: 7 am – wake 8 – 5 am – work 6 – whenever – work on O & E’s house 9 or 10 pm – home to bed This is the first evening I took off to do the things I need to do: plant my garden, spend time with Adam, think about something other than tasks and projects at O & E’s. It’s weird being this involved in the renovation, sale and purchase of homes that aren’t mine…that have been made veryRead more …

S, T, U…

OMG I have been running non-stop since the Thursday before last. The last update I made, as I sat poolside in Vegas, may have been the last moment I had to just sit and contemplate things until now, and even now I am sneaking in this writing while I am at work. So yeah, the #AtoZBloggingChallenge fell by the wayside — though I kept up (more or less) with my daily orgasms, which effort may be chronicled here in future if I ever get time to do so. BUT…since I still have one day left in April, I thought I’d try to fill in the alphabet gaps between the letter R and the letter Z in one extended blog post. Just because. Author’s note: I only got through to U before I had to take a break. Sooo…there will be more to come, because I’m stubborn like that! S isRead more …