Everyday Jade

All the miscellaney…

#naughtyScavengerHunt – Castle

Nov 19, 2019 | Posted by in Everyday Jade, Scavenger Hunt, Wicked Wednesday | 1

I awoke this morning with a migraine – “morning” being at 3AM. But instead of laying in bed moaning (and not in a good way) I decided to make the most of my unasked-for morning hours: I downloaded some photos, posted a Sinful Sunday, reminisced about a fun weekend and decided to write¬†another blog post (this one.) The main reason that we went down to the Lake of the Ozarks the other weekend was to hike up to the castle at Ha Ha Tonka State Park. It’s not an *actual* castle, there were no knights or dukes, kings, queens, serfs or a moat here: it’s a replica built by a rich businessman from Kansas City in the early 1900’s. His family actually used it as a vacation home before it burned down. Thereafter the ruins and the 5,000 wooded acres it stands on, as well as Missouri’s 12th largest spring,Read more …

Whoa

Nov 16, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff | 2

Whoa – I’m feeling good. Maybe it’s because my medication has settled out, or because I’m coming out of menopause-imposed insanity, but I don’t think so. I think it’s because…well, maybe I’m learning some stuff. Maybe I’m finally figuring out what I want my life to look like and how I want to live it. Maybe it’s because I am shaping my life to be that – what I want. I have been doing the emotional labor and now am making the life decisions to put me there: where I want to be. It feels good. It feels right. Also, because some of these are BIG life changes, it’s a bit scary. But that’s okay. Scary-ness in the service of living authentically can be managed. Even savored a bit. I am embracing my life as a solo poly person (for a good explanation of the term, see this excellent article:Read more …

Two Weekends, and Some Brooding

Two weekends, a weekend apart: so very different. I’ve gone to kink events alone – or thought I had, before the spanking event I went to a couple weeks ago. Actually, in retrospect, I may have traveled to those parties by myself (Boardwalk Badness Weekend in Atlantic City ~10 years ago, Kinky Kollege only last year) but the reality is, I wasn’t there alone. In both cases, I met friends there, I shared a room with friend(s), so while I wasn’t there with a partner, I definitely had people I knew around me. Apparently that is a key to my enjoyment of the event. Not that I don’t enjoy the travel alone, the being in a different place alone – I very deliberately chose that when I decided to go to Crimson Moon (the spanking party.) But apparently friends – or friends-to-be – are vital to my enjoyment of theRead more …

The Grand Canyon and Beyond

Sep 27, 2019 | Posted by in Everyday Jade | 6

So helloooo… I’m here in a corner of a coffee shop here in Las Vegas, waiting till we head to the airport to go home, avoiding the heat, and trying to get at least one update from my recent travels done. No sexiness in the next little bit – I’ve been at my un-kinky best, being mom, girlfriend, hiker, backpacker & fellow (non-kinky) traveler. (But never fear, I have at least two kink events coming up in the next month to satisfy my deepest kinky desires, so should have some fun stuff to report soon.) Anyway, on to the past 10 days or so! So. This is likely to be a little schizophrenic, timeline-wise, because there were not many opportunities to write. The one day I did have time, I lounged about next to a creek, resting my tired ole muscles and bones, as well as the solitude. Not surprisingly,Read more …

Weekend Notes, and a Song. Sort-of.

Sep 2, 2019 | Posted by in Everyday Jade | 1

It’s hard to believe it’s the Monday of a 3-day weekend, that it’s the first part of September, and that it’s only two weeks away from our Grand Canyon Trek. This weekend did not go as planned: date night with Viper on Friday in which we all (his primary and her Top and Viper and I) all went out and did a thing together (with the kids); Saturday hike and farmer’s market with Ad and then him staying over, going into Sunday for a day of doing whatever; then Monday our last long hike before the Trek – 10 miles carrying our max weights in our packs, to test for our own limits before we get out there. Here’s what happened to that plan: Friday night I was still sick and exhausted, as I had been for three days, with allergies. The fireworks we thought were going to happen gotRead more …

Taking Back My Power

In the “better late than never – no really,” category, I’m chiming in on the SafeworD/s Club, “Tell Me About…” prompt for “Power Exchange.” Of course the meme has already closed, because that’s how I roll (ugh). But this topic is top of mind for me right now, as I navigate the ways in which V’s and my relationship has changed during this D/s hiatus. Power exchange, freely and consensually giving up one’s power to another, is a heady thing. It is at the core of being a submissive, of desiring to submit to another. To submit to, to give one’s power to, another. For me it is obviously sexual; perhaps not so obviously, it also has deeper meaning than just the sexual. When I started this with V, I stated, quite emphatically, that D/s was not what I wanted. I wanted a play partner. Someone to “do the thingsRead more …

That was yesterday…

Jul 4, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff | 2

Ugh…today is one of those days. Having a hard time mustering the energy or desire to pop out of bed. To face the world, to be productive. To human. I was on the Grand Canyon Trek training bus last week, putting in 5 miles a day at least either walking or hiking, then decided to give myself a day off on Monday, that turned into a night in bed with relationship drama last night, and today… Here I am. Kinda want to be anywhere but here. Well, maybe I want to be HERE – here is my bed. Sleep, sleep like the little gnomy guy, the one in the fairy tale. That really was yesterday morning. This morning I am sitting at the bar at one of my favorite breakfast places – not having a drink. Eating granola with banana and yogurt and nuts, drinking a decaf latte, feeling theRead more …

Day 27 – A Musical Night

When it;s good, it’s very, very good. V came over last night. We went to listen to music at the Garden and have a little picnic; it was a pleasant evening, if a bit cold and wet, since it had stormed earlier. But at least the free concert wasn’t canceled – they have already canceled 3 out of the 4 weekly concerts due to rain so far this summer. One of the reasons V switched our date nights to be alternating Tuesday/Wednesdays was so that we could go to them – it’s a favorite summertime activity of mine – so the cancellations have been doubly disappointing. Anyway, in spite of the not-ideal conditions, it was nice, feeling like we were on a date. Walking back to the house afterward we got into the never-ending discussion we have regarding schedules, though. When we got to the front door I put myRead more …

Day 25 – Veering and Careening

I veer wildly between wanting to run away, to just give up, and wanting him so badly, loving him so fiercely, that I am willing to do anything to make it work. Veering, stumbling, I land here, on my bed, alone, a glass of whiskey in my hand. I think about it all. About him; about us; about them; about what used to be all of us. About me. About who I am, with him; and without. I am not the one perpetuating this place that we (the group we) have found ourselves in. Yes, I own that I had a part in instigating it – but I have cut myself to ribbons trying to make up for it, and I just don’t have anymore blood to bleed. I don’t know if we can move on – if I can move on – burdened by the baggage of so muchRead more …

Day 23 – It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah

Jun 23, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 3

Last night was a bust. It was all me – and yet, really, it wasn’t. I don’t even think it was really an argument. I was just so tired, so done, with everything that doesn’t work for me in this relationship. And I drank too much, and I cried and said I couldn’t do it anymore the way it is: our time restricted arbitrarily, no control or say in that; him making excuses and rationalizing. And in the morning, he acted like none of those words had been said. We went to breakfast, me confused, him forcing cheerfulness and acting like it was the end of any other date night. We talked – somewhat – at breakfast. I’m still confused by his ability to gloss over everything, as though there was no moment in which I had said, “I can’t. I can’t do this anymore.” “I heard you,” he saidRead more …