Everyday Jade

All the miscellaney…

Don’t Do This

My poor dog ate a square of “special” chocolate meant to be a sleep-aid for me. It was not the chocolate that hurt him (thank goodness, chocolate can be deadly for dogs) but the “secret ingredient.” Apparently doggo is as susceptible (in a bad way) to the stuff as I am (can’t consume it, in any format. I end up in a corner, staring out at a world made threatening and unfriendly, my heart pounding, anxiety raking its claws up and down me. Kind of like it is doing now, without the substance, as I watch my poor dog stumble about, confused and frightened.) His vet assures me that the minute amount he consumed, while disorienting and possibly misery-inducing for him, won’t kill him – but he was definitely traumatized and I feel horrible. I am also awake at 1:30 a.m. when I should be sleeping. He’s sleeping soundly atRead more …

The Twelve Tasks of Kinkmas – Task 7; a Mea Culpa

Of course I couldn’t get through the entire twelve days of tasks without missing a day. Or two. Ok, so I had a fairly good reason. Yesterday was moving day, and the day before that was spent packing up at the old house and getting ready to move! It momentous New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day, for sure. Still I have to take responsibility (and punishment) for not planning ahead enough to pre-schedule posts on these two days. I knew that I’d be too crazy busy all day and night to get them done, but time and energy just plain got away from me. And I actually did have time last night, after the movers and Adam, the daughter and various friends had gone home, after pizza and beer, and after V had put together my bed, to post the one task that I had finished in advance of the move,Read more …

The Twelve Tasks of Kinkmas – Task 6

Task 6 – Describe what a cooter is and list at least 5 uses for it. Post a pic. Day 6 and I almost let the day/night get away with me without completing this task! The damn thing is that I could have written this at work – I had literally ZERO things to do and was just marking time until “go home” time. (I hate days like that.) BUT, I didn’t think about this task, because I had so many other things going on. Moving day is Wednesday and I have packing and coordinating to do. I just got done with dog sitting and am finally home again, but my routine is destroyed, all my things are in suitcases or boxes or god knows where, as is the rest of my house. I do very poorly when everything is unorganized and in disarray. I’m trying to keep it togetherRead more …

The Twelve Tasks of Kinkmas – Task 4

Task 4: Box yourself up naked for Boxing Day I know, I know, I missed the actual Boxing Day, which is, apparently, a holiday celebrated in the U.K. and in certain other countries that used to be part of the British Empire, such as Canada. I didn’t realize it was the day after Christmas until yesterday, when I asked The Photographer if he’d mind taking a photo of me naked, in a box, and then had to look up what “Boxing Day” meant.¬† Soooo…a little late. But better late than never, eh?? Some other exciting things that happened: I got the keys to my new house and I moved my first box in! I am a new home owner! I can’t believe it, to be honest. I had never wanted to be tied down to one place before, to a house, to a mortgage. And, maybe, I’ll regret it ifRead more …

Good Vibes

Dec 21, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 8

I am in hour number 24 of a migraine. I feel as though my skull is splitting. My teeth ache, my ear aches, my cheekbone and the bones around my eye and my jawbone are in an exquisite agony. Light and movement cause waves of pain that throb and then stab my head. So what am I doing, sitting here writing? I’ve taken four rounds of painkiller. In between I have taken tylonol, tylonol PM, and/or simply tried to wait out the pain, because the migraine medicine makes my stomach hurt so much. But when I do take it, I lay here awake because of the caffeine, and because of it, in spite of being unable to get up and move about, I am antsy and bored, my brain running a hundred miles a minute. It’s an awful cycle. Reading requires too much focus (and my eyes), listening to aRead more …

An Update

Dec 18, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 8

I keep thinking I should post something; update here; bring this space up-to-date. Then I face the blank screen, and all the words of all the things, and I lose the energy or initiative. I just want to make myself a drink and sink into a book under my covers. But I won’t. I will write words. I’m back from Cuba. Beautiful country, enjoyable and challenging trip all at once, friendships forged. It was a thing that challenged me but I DID IT. So there. Came back to North America (Toronto specifically) and spent two days and nights with M, my friend from the Chicago party and the organizer of the Cuba excursion. It was wonderful. We talked, we dined, we played. We like each other a lot. Things are progressing towards some kind of D/s-y LDR, though we are taking it slow as I work through my break-up withRead more …

An Update and Setting an Intention

Dec 6, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff | 2

I’ve started this post about half a dozen times. I’ve written and rewritten, I’ve been calm and matter-of-fact, I’ve been sad and lost, I’ve been angry and bitter, I’ve tried to convince the world (or at least that part of it that reads here) that I am justified in my reasons and I’ve simply spewed it all out, justifications be damned. And now, here I am, deciding, fuck it. I don’t want to rehash it all. It is what it is. I just want to move on. At least that’s what I feel right this moment. The next I may want to rehash it over and over until I’m sick of listening to myself. Who knows. It’s been a roller coaster of emotions, but I guess that’s to be expected. I broke up with V the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. For good this time. I think. I hope. There are allRead more …

Life as it is

Nov 25, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 4

I am awake late because I fell asleep in an extended, unanticipated nap shortly after 6 and only woke at 11 again. And now I can’t sleep for real, because too many hours napping! Ugh. It’s been a quiet weekend, mostly. Not a bad thing, as my life has been so busy that I am grateful for some downtime. My routine has been disrupted by the advent of Ad’s new job: after years of working the same (dead-end) job he finally got up the gumption to get another. I’m proud of him, and I hope that this initial position leads to a better one for him that utilizes his experience and training. But the hours are odd, and he didn’t account for Felix – our dog, whom he has custody of since my roommate has a yappy, aggressive Chihuahua – who needs to be let out at night, during Adam’sRead more …

#naughtyScavengerHunt – Castle

Nov 19, 2019 | Posted by in Everyday Jade, Scavenger Hunt, Wicked Wednesday | 7

I awoke this morning with a migraine – “morning” being at 3AM. But instead of laying in bed moaning (and not in a good way) I decided to make the most of my unasked-for morning hours: I downloaded some photos, posted a Sinful Sunday, reminisced about a fun weekend and decided to write¬†another blog post (this one.) The main reason that we went down to the Lake of the Ozarks the other weekend was to hike up to the castle at Ha Ha Tonka State Park. It’s not an *actual* castle, there were no knights or dukes, kings, queens, serfs or a moat here: it’s a replica built by a rich businessman from Kansas City in the early 1900’s. His family actually used it as a vacation home before it burned down. Thereafter the ruins and the 5,000 wooded acres it stands on, as well as Missouri’s 12th largest spring,Read more …

Whoa

Nov 16, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff | 2

Whoa – I’m feeling good. Maybe it’s because my medication has settled out, or because I’m coming out of menopause-imposed insanity, but I don’t think so. I think it’s because…well, maybe I’m learning some stuff. Maybe I’m finally figuring out what I want my life to look like and how I want to live it. Maybe it’s because I am shaping my life to be that – what I want. I have been doing the emotional labor and now am making the life decisions to put me there: where I want to be. It feels good. It feels right. Also, because some of these are BIG life changes, it’s a bit scary. But that’s okay. Scary-ness in the service of living authentically can be managed. Even savored a bit. I am embracing my life as a solo poly person (for a good explanation of the term, see this excellent article:Read more …