Everyday Jade

All the miscellaney…

Three Men in One Day

Aug 4, 2017 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 0
hearts on a clothesline

I had to go in for a minor medical procedure yesterday. They put me out, so I needed a ride to the hospital and back home, and then someone to stay with me till they were assured of no ill effects from the anesthesia. Boyfriend 1: Comes over bright and early to pick me up. He changed his work schedule around so he could drive me. He sits with me while they prep me and poke me and ask me questions; he’s there when I wake up, listens to doctor’s instructions and takes me home to tuck me in for a nap afterward. Boyfriend 2: Calls me before I leave, having re-worked his morning routine, getting himself up an hour early so he would have time to talk on the phone with me before I went to the hospital, then showed up – surprise! – while I was in recovery.Read more …

I think I can.

Jul 20, 2017 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 2

I think I can do this. No, I really do. I think I can be happy. I think I can be content. I think I can accept what is, without pining for what is not. There’s been many times in the past – what’s it been, almost 2 years? – that I haven’t been sure of that. That I’ve doubted and wondered “why” and wished I was anywhere, in any other relationship(s), than the one(s) I am in. That it was all too hard, too complicated, too not-what-I-wanted out of my relationship(s). Out of my life. Sometimes I still feel that way. I love Viper and would be devastated not to have him in my life and I adore and crave the D/s dynamic we have created; I still love and appreciate Adam as much as I ever did (if not more so), even after almost 18 years; and IRead more …

Dirty Innocence

I laughed a bit to myself when I decided to post this for Sinful Sunday. I mean, it’s just not all that sinful, right? And yet…I find the image oddly sexy and yet comforting at the same time. This is me, now – this is my dirty-girl-ness, so unlike it was back then, when I masturbated on a dirty, grimy floor while W pissed on me.  And yet, sitting on the deck overlooking my little city yard, cooling off after spending the morning on my hands and knees gardening, I am happy. Yes, happy and content with my life. There’s a little more to this story, I suppose. I sent this to my new guy, the Romantic, maybe I shall call him, who is at least nominally vanilla. I guess at some point I need to fill ya’ll in on what’s been going on on that front. But for now, sufficeRead more …

More from New Orleans

Jun 16, 2017 | Posted by in Everyday Jade, Scavenger Hunt | 4

Hello again from Nawlins! Okay, okay, we’re actually home, but I have to post these pics from the rest of my New Orleans trip. We had such fun! It made the 12 hour days working at the end worth it. We rented a car for the first half of the trip, before my work conference started, after all, which I was very glad for, because it meant that we didn’t have to waste time trying to navigate the bus/trolley system. It also meant we could range further afield than we might have otherwise. The day after my Scavenger Hunt, we went back to City Park, 1,300 acres of Spanish moss-draped oaks and walking trails. I went for a run and Ad drank coffee and waited for my sweaty butt to get back to him at a little cafe there. Unfortunately they only serve beignets for breakfast, which I am not fond ofRead more …

Hello from the Big Easy

Jun 9, 2017 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Scavenger Hunt | 1

Guess where we are! A work conference has brought me to New Orleans. The Bear and I are AirBnB-ing it for a couple days before we must decamp to the conference hotel and I have to put in a couple two or three 12-hour days, endure cocktail parties and an awards banquet, and oh yeah, pretend to be vanilla. My job is the one space in my life where I am not completely out, though I am making inroads on the poly front. I’m excited to be exploring a new city with Ad. We’ve both been here before – me most recently for a weekend-long swinger party with W – but that was a lifetime ago. This trip is so far removed from that that it might have happened to a different person. So Ad and I are exploring it afresh, and making it our own. This guidebook was left onRead more …

Space of My Own

I am always always always late on these Wicked Wednesday posts, even when they are something I want to write about. Even though I get the email as soon as Marie Rebel posts the prompt. Maybe I should make that a blogging goal. I have decided to make myself modest (very modest) writing goals this year, because, in the past, that has worked to some degree for me.. Nothing like the goals I have set in the past (a story a month submitted for publication? How crazy was that? Even crazier that every one of them got published…) but something to work for, something to give me a little boost whenever I make a goal. So? Maybe doing – at minimum – the Wicked Wednesday prompts. We’ll see. Still cogitating on that one. Anyway, I digress. This past Wednesday’s prompt was about “space.” The prompt talked about space like, youRead more …

2016 in Retrospect – A Little Perspective

Jan 7, 2017 | Posted by in Everyday Jade | 6

After my last post I had some photo organizing to do, unrelated to 2016, but none-the-less I ended up going through a whole lot of images from last year, and I had a realization: there was a lot of laughter in the past year.  There were also many good times, a fuckton of joy and play, silliness and love and friendship. Yes, there’s been a lot of sad in me, and it’s caused me to act out many times in ways that I am not proud of…but a little perspective is perhaps in order, too. I’m really, really hard on myself. If I don’t act in all ways in compassion, in love, in kindness and with good intent, I am convinced that I am a horrible person and believe I am undeserving of love. The truth is, I have been ugly and small-minded at times. I have felt anger atRead more …

Looking Forward, Looking Back

Jan 3, 2017 | Posted by in Everyday Jade, Life Before, Wicked Wednesday | 9

For a few years of Kink & Poly, I did a “First Line” retrospective, where, for my first post of the New Year, I quoted the first line of the first post each month of the previous year, sometimes interjecting a note here or there about it, or about where I was now in regards to it. Obviously, this year, I can’t do that. Nor do I think I’d want to. The year wasn’t all bad, in fact there was a lot of joy and happiness to be had. But there was an awful lot of pain as well, misunderstandings, sadness and sorrow, growth and “learning opportunities,” too. I struggled a lot this past year, both emotionally and physically, and have come to realize that much of it – the emotional stuff – came from inside of me. So often I thought I had healed and was moving forward, stayingRead more …

So much to say…

I’ve heard  from a couple of friends, wondering where I am, if I’m well. I am. Well. And thinking about writing all the time. But then…I don’t. I get busy with school and work and life and the urge to record the doings of my life just isn’t there. I don’t know what to say anymore. I don’t know what to talk about. My life is good, my relationships are stable, I’m “rolling the ball forward,” as V says. But I don’t have anything very interesting to write about. I loved writing about sex. And it’s not like we don’t have good sex. Some pretty spectacular sex. But I don’t often find myself driven to talk about it here. I loved writing about kink. It’s not like we don’t have our brand of kink. Sometimes it’s kinky as fuck. But, again, I don’t often find myself compelled to share thoseRead more …

Seabird

Oct 1, 2016 | Posted by in Everyday Jade | 3

I am no stranger to depression. I suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and have had debilitating bouts of clinical depression that only anti-depressants have been able to alleviate. Sometimes years go by in between bouts; I have found non-prescription coping mechanisms, like my Happy Light and mood managing routines, that help control the SAD if it doesn’t get too acute. Sometimes, even when it is bad, I fight having to take medication. I don’t want to be in a chemically altered state, and always before, the side effects were prohibitive enough to make me use medication only as a last resort, and to wait far too long to give in and take it. There are times, though, when the depression hits and I just don’t recognize it for what it is. When the slide is so long and slow that I’m surprised when I scrape the bottom with my belly;Read more …