Memes & Prompts

Rope in the Basement

Oct 15, 2018 | Posted by in Kinky Stuff, Masturbation Monday, Memes & Prompts | 2

“Come on, kitty,” he says, giving me a little tug to get me to follow along, down the stairs, into the play room in the basement. I love public play, but I also love the play that is both public and private: at a play party, but down in the basement where it’s darker and closer and more intimate. This night, I’d been distracted by others’ negative energy in the main room and was having a hard time focusing on him and I, as I should have been. “Now,” he barks, his voice a sharp rebuke as I hold back, not yet in that sweet, compliant state. I hurry to comply. It’s dark down there, and I am not sure what he’s going to do. We had talked about rope, because that has been at the top of our minds, what with the photo shoot I am supposed to beRead more …

Yellow Rope

Oct 15, 2018 | Posted by in Kinky Stuff, Sinful Sunday | 5

I’m exhausted, but can’t sleep. Had a long, really lovely weekend, unmarred by moodiness or angst (mine or anyone else’s in my vicinity), and featuring some good times with friends, with Viper, and with Adam. And even some enjoyable time on my own. Today (Sunday) quite unexpectedly, I wound up at a favorite local park of mine, tied up and hanging from a tree while my photographer friend Allan (that I have mentioned here, and shown some of the photos he’s taken of me), took pictures. It’s amazing what you can do right out in the open, if you’re a) fully dressed, and b) look like you’re “official,” doing a “photo shoot.” Which we were, though there were times I wasn’t always completely dressed (I had my boots and socks on, okay?) But most times I was in a lovely yellow dress or in a black tank and leggings, andRead more …

A pause, a moment, a breath.

I woke this morning from a dream I had in which W was alive, only to remember that he wasn’t in the moments after I woke. That’s always a painful moment, when the realization hits – oh, wait, he’s not here anymore. This time, unlike some others when he has shown up in my dreams, I didn’t have the bittersweet joy – albeit short-lived, whist dreaming – of talking to him, of seeing him, of experiencing him alive once more, because in this dream I didn’t get to talk to him. I dreamed I was trying to each him via cell phone, but could not. I woke, reaching for my phone, to text him – “Call me!” Of course he never will. I don’t feel the overwhelming sadness at that thought that I used to, now. It comes with the understanding that our time has passed; that his time has.Read more …

A Self-Care Champion

Damn I’ve been doing a lot of writing lately. Well, not “writing” writing – you know, hot, steamy, messy, sexy writing – but lots of the writing that I originally created my blog for. It didn’t start out as a sex blog. I think that evolution happened with W. I was having all these amazing sexy encounters (with accompanying pics) and…well, I wanted to show them off. What we were doing, in images and words. I have never been able to color inside the lines, though, so my blog became a story as well, not just a series of encounters. It became the story of our lives – W’s, Ad’s and mine – as well as an account of all the sex we got up to. I really wanted to write about relationship dynamics, about being poly in a mono world, about being kinky in a non-kink world, and IRead more …

All healing is first a healing of the heart

Sep 26, 2018 | Posted by in Relationship Stuff, Wicked Wednesday | 6

I can probably say I know a lot about healing. Not that I have suffered that much in my life. Seriously, I have been blessed in so many ways. But I have had to find a way to go on, as most of us do, after a tragedy. And I have found it. I believe I have found the path to healing because I have been so very blessed. To do anything else would be to throw the gifts of love and kindness and support away; to deny their power and importance in my life. And so, I find my way to a place of healing, even when I believe there is none.   This is truth, although, in the depths of being broken, I did not know it. I am better now than I ever was. Pain has sharpened my humility; sorrow has deepened my empathy. I am stronger,Read more …

Girls’ Weekend, cont.

Sep 20, 2018 | Posted by in Life Before, Scavenger Hunt, Throwback Thursday | 0

First, in honor of the weekend, a Scavenger Hunt that I did years ago in Chicago, after a 4-mile walk down the Lake Michigan shoreline with Ad and W. I had a couple of reminders about that trip while I was in Chicago this last time, so it seemed fitting that I would do a Throwback Thursday Scavenger Hunt featuring it. I tried to find the posts I wrote about the trip in Kink & Poly, so I could reference it for anyone was interested in reading about it, but that was a little too deep down memory lane, and I gave up. In any case, the memory of these pictures makes me happy. It was a trip where W and Ad and I had brought W’s granddaughter’s moose stuffie along with us and took pictures of it everywhere, so he could share his travels with her. And where, whenRead more …

Someday…

“Someday” is a really hard concept for me. I have always been an “in the moment” person. Delayed gratification has never been my strong suit. One of my earliest memories is one I am ashamed of, and yet so epitomizes me in regards to delayed gratification. My “real” dad, my biological father, got to see me only every other Saturday, and even that my mom and stepdad did their best to ruin or minimize if they could. We’d go on some adventure, and then, on the way back to my mom’s, we’d split a Hershey bar. It was our special treat (and it is my favorite chocolate to this day.) On this Saturday, he was running late in getting me back to my mom. I didn’t know then what I  do now: any minor transgression my mom would report to the court, to use against my father to deny himRead more …

Garden Glass

Sep 1, 2018 | Posted by in Sinful Sunday | 26

Last summer (wow, has it been that long ago?) I went to an exhibit at the Botanical Gardens called “Glass in the Garden.” I may have even written about it here, I can’t quite recall. The exhibit featured glass in the shapes of leaves, trees, flowers and all manner of growing things, placed strategically throughout the Garden, and then lit up at night. It was beautiful, and my pictures don’t do it justice. But I ran across the pictures today as I was searching for inspiration for the Sinful Sunday prompt, “Macro.” They inspired me to try a little garden glass of my own. Of course, my glass isn’t flower shaped. And doesn’t really belong in the garden. But I think it’s kind of pretty anyway. Don’t you?     Check out the rest of the Sunday Sinners getting all macro this Sunday!

The Lure of the Sea

I was born in California. I did not, however and contrary to what most people seem to think when I tell them this, live near the ocean. There were very few beaches in my childhood, as a matter of fact, but there were enough to instill in me a lifelong love of the sea and “big water” as I often call it. Does that make the ocean a kink of mine? I think not, though I have done a lot of kinky things by the sea. And it’s not only the ocean, it’s any big body of water, although I by far prefer the sea. I was born in the Bay Area, but not anywhere near the water. I spent the first 7 or 8 years of my life in one or another of the nondescript, endlessly sprawling, “bedroom communities” of San Francisco. (That’s not as sexy as it soundsRead more …

What’s love got to do with it

Aug 29, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Wicked Wednesday | 7

I’m feeling contemplative today. The other night, after unpacking from the weekend and doing my Sinful Sunday post, I laid in bed and thought about my life: where it was, what I had wanted; where it is, what I want now. I wrote this to Vipelr: “I’m trying to figure out the life I want and it’s not always the life I have and I wonder if I just settle for the life I have because I know I can’t have the life I want.” I’m trying to figure out if I really feel that way – that I am settling for what I can have, because I can’t have what I really want – or if that is just something I a) have told myself for so long that it’s become “true” in my head, even if it really isn’t; and b) the thing I think when I amRead more …