Memes & Prompts

Kinktober, A Spanking Event & Anxieties

And now we have a Station Break from our regularly scheduled drama, “The Grand Canyon and Beyond,” (soon to be continued – promise!) I’ve had an up-all-night for-no-good-reason kind of night. Sleeping meds finally dropped me over into Morpheous’ arms at about 1:30 a.m., but they only hold for so long, and here it is 5:50 a.m. and I’m awake AF. I’ve got my upcoming trip to Chicago on my mind. It’s to a Thurs-Sun spanking party, and while I was excited for all kinds of reasons to sign up, a lot of those had to do with nostalgia, and wanting to make a statement about this new reality I find myself in, as well as the sheer fun I hoped I would have. And still do hope! But, as with everything, it’s complicated. One of the sillier complications has to do with clothing; with presentation. I had no idea,Read more …

At the Core…Why I Write

“I want to feel like that again,” I said to myself recently, after reading something (I can’t recall exactly what, more’s the pity) that was sexy and erotic and tantalizing and made me feel…well. Sexy, erotic and tantalizing. When had I stopped feeling that way? As I wrote that last sentence I had an answer in my head, and I almost wrote it out, but I won’t. I don’t want to do that here, to do that now. I just want to…write. To feel all those things I used to feel when I was writing. I want to be here, be real, be present – but leave behind the angsty Jade I have been. Yes, I want to be authentic, but I also want to shed the authentically angst-ridden person I have been recently. I don’t know if it is possible. On the other hand, why not? That sexy, sassy,Read more …

Perspective: #SinfulSunday #Boobday #LingerieisforEveryone

I’ve been up since 2:30 a.m. for some weird reason (reasons to come in a follow-on post) but I really wanted to participate in the various memes this week because…well because it’s f-ing August 16 and I haven’t even cracked open my blog, much less written anything. So I wrote some things between 2:30 a.m. and now, but I realized all-the-words weren’t really going to work for Sinful Sunday, where’s it’s all about the image, or for Boob Day, where it’s all about the boobs, or for Lingerie is for Everyone, where it’s all about the lingerie! Decided to save all the words for later and post some pics instead. So here they are! I do think they speak to the theme of “perspective.” Edit: Well shit, I thought Lingerie is for Everyone was a somewhat-perpetually open link-up, and that Hy’s Boobday link-ups now stayed open through Sunday, but apparentlyRead more …

Taking Back My Power

In the “better late than never – no really,” category, I’m chiming in on the SafeworD/s Club, “Tell Me About…” prompt for “Power Exchange.” Of course the meme has already closed, because that’s how I roll (ugh). But this topic is top of mind for me right now, as I navigate the ways in which V’s and my relationship has changed during this D/s hiatus. Power exchange, freely and consensually giving up one’s power to another, is a heady thing. It is at the core of being a submissive, of desiring to submit to another. To submit to, to give one’s power to, another. For me it is obviously sexual; perhaps not so obviously, it also has deeper meaning than just the sexual. When I started this with V, I stated, quite emphatically, that D/s was not what I wanted. I wanted a play partner. Someone to “do the thingsRead more …

#WickedWednesday – Pleasure

Jul 17, 2019 | Posted by in Kink & Scenes, Wicked Wednesday | 4

“How will I know you’re in pleasure, versus pain?” she asked, the first time we played. It’s a legitimate – and important – question, when negotiating a BDSM scene with someone new, for those on both sides of the slash. I’ve asked myself that when watching others’ scenes: How does the Top know that that person screaming is – though in pain – in a “good” place? That it’s good pain? That it’s even something like “pleasure”? I certainly can’t tell from my vantage point. Sometimes, in the midst of things, I can’t even tell if what I’m experiencing is pleasure or pain. She didn’t need to ask me when we played this time, though. She’d seen my dance, experienced me bouncing up on my tippy-toes and back down to the ground, arching my back and sticking out my ass in pure pleasure/pain. This pleasure, though, is different than whenRead more …

Erotic Humiliation

Good morning and happy Saturday! (I know, I know, this isn’t Saturday, but that’s when I started this, and I didn’t want to rework the beginning. I should never date my posts that way – it always takes me a couple of days to finish them, and then I’m stuck with this.)┬áIt’s a not blisteringly hot day (yet), and I’ve just walked across the park to a little coffee shop for breakfast and an iced latte. I’ve known about this place forever, have even eaten here a time or two, but it wasn’t until the other day, sitting here with Adam, my daughter and a couple of friends before Pride started, that I realized this is the writing spot that I’ve been looking for. I’ve been trying to find a place away from home to write, and although my preference would be to write at a friend’s sex-positive coffee+ shop,Read more …

Day 27 – A Musical Night

When it;s good, it’s very, very good. V came over last night. We went to listen to music at the Garden and have a little picnic; it was a pleasant evening, if a bit cold and wet, since it had stormed earlier. But at least the free concert wasn’t canceled – they have already canceled 3 out of the 4 weekly concerts due to rain so far this summer. One of the reasons V switched our date nights to be alternating Tuesday/Wednesdays was so that we could go to them – it’s a favorite summertime activity of mine – so the cancellations have been doubly disappointing. Anyway, in spite of the not-ideal conditions, it was nice, feeling like we were on a date. Walking back to the house afterward we got into the never-ending discussion we have regarding schedules, though. When we got to the front door I put myRead more …

Day 25 – Veering and Careening

I veer wildly between wanting to run away, to just give up, and wanting him so badly, loving him so fiercely, that I am willing to do anything to make it work. Veering, stumbling, I land here, on my bed, alone, a glass of whiskey in my hand. I think about it all. About him; about us; about them; about what used to be all of us. About me. About who I am, with him; and without. I am not the one perpetuating this place that we (the group we) have found ourselves in. Yes, I own that I had a part in instigating it – but I have cut myself to ribbons trying to make up for it, and I just don’t have anymore blood to bleed. I don’t know if we can move on – if I can move on – burdened by the baggage of so muchRead more …

Day 19 – Thoughts on Round 5 of the #SmutMarathon

Here we are more than halfway through, and it is definitely proving to be a marathon! I am still enthusiastic about each assignment, the voting/feedback rounds, and finding out the results, but I am also beginning to comprehend how much of a commitment this was and is. Still, as in past rounds, I have enjoyed exercising my writing, editing and critiquing chops. I felt like I hit my stride in this round. I found the prompt, “write a story that takes place in the dark,” interesting, and the word count was much more manageable to me. While some writers have excelled at crafting what felt like a whole story in the rounds with a much lower word count, I really struggled with it. I welcomed the challenge for just that reason, though, and persevered, coming up with pieces that I felt, if not extravagantly proud of, at least satisfied with.Read more …

Day 17 – Satisfaction

I’m laying in bed, having woken from an evening nap to write this post. I have a bit of a cat-canary feel of satisfaction going on, of luxuriating in my space in the universe at the moment. So of course I had to take a picture. I realized when I went to post it that it doesn’t show the lovely bruises that adorn my flesh, and that are a part of my adjusted attitude, so I will have to correct that oversight, but suffice it to say, there are a few, and I can’t help myself but to poke and rub at them throughout the day. A really fantastic scene the other night is not the only reason for my change in mood – I’ve been very judiciously doing all the things that I know will help; all the practical things as well as self-care and self-compassion things, and theyRead more …