Wicked Wednesday

Before & After

Jan 9, 2019 | Posted by in Kinky Stuff, Memes & Prompts, Wicked Wednesday | 6

6 PM – Tuesday V’s coming over tonight, though later than normal, so I have time to do the things I “should” do: laundry, fold clothes, vacuum…you know the drill. But I am on deadline, because this week I have both written the prompt and will be doing the round-up for Wicked Wednesday; I have also to write one myself. I have been able to read a few as they have been posted, and written notes about what I like about each, but I haven’t got to all that have been posted up to this point, and I know that there may be several more by end of Wednesday when the prompt closes for the week: I need to catch up so I am not overwhelmed tomorrow. And also (!) – I need to write my own! I have been noodling, pondering, thinking, brainstorming all week. When I suggested theRead more …

A Mish-Mash of Things

Dec 19, 2018 | Posted by in Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff, Wicked Wednesday | 3

I suppose that should be “things” lowercase t, but it’s a title, so it’s “Things” capital-T, even though it’s really just a random, unsorted, largely unrelated and probably not too interesting mish-mash of thoughts. I haven’t had time or inclination to write much, until this moment really, when I trudged up the third stairway to my room, a little wobbly from a very strong white Russian, but not wobbly-headed enough that I couldn’t contemplate putting fingers to keyboard. And suddenly I wanted to. My second WR is next to me on my nightstand, so we shall see how far I get. LOL Really, I should be spending every spare moment crocheting a gift I am making for my sister, but obviously I am not. Hah – crochet. That will be my number one not-very-interesting thing. Crochet I am making this for my sister. Which, frankly, freaks me out a littleRead more …

Wicked Wednesday – Losing Control

Nov 14, 2018 | Posted by in Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff, Wicked Wednesday | 3

I love this topic. There are so many ways control – having it, losing it, giving it up, having it taken from me – lives large in my life. I love it, I need it, I want it; I want to give it up, want it taken from me, want to lose it. I am struggling all the time to gain it, to maintain it; control of my diet, of my daily habits, of myself is an on-going battle. In my relationship with V, I say “take it” and then I struggle against him and fight against losing the control that I say I want to give up. Control is, of course, at the heart of my D/s relationship with Viper. More than the sadism/masochism, more than the rough sex, being controlled is at the very deepest heart of my submission to him; it’s what makes me tick, what IRead more …

The Weekend at Kinky Kollege

Oct 31, 2018 | Posted by in Kinky Stuff, Relationship Stuff, Wicked Wednesday | 8

A Play-by-Play (sort of) Friday I have such a goddamned piss-poor memory. Here I am, at Kinky Kollege in Chicago, trying to remember if I have been to this event alone before. I remember doing a scene with my friend Bad Beast, and saying goodbye to him the next day…and I was alone then…so…I must have? But I don’t remember traveling up here or being here alone. So I’m confused. Was that the “Play to Red” scene time…I don’t think so. Mj was there. Adam and Warren were there. So no. So when was it? I am also remembering going to Cope alone. But also driving back from Cope with Viper. So…it must have been two different times. Did I play those other times, when I was alone? I don’t remember that either. Anyway, I’m here now, at Kinky Kollege (a twice a year kink con in Chicago) alone. Well,Read more …

A pause, a moment, a breath.

I woke this morning from a dream I had in which W was alive, only to remember that he wasn’t in the moments after I woke. That’s always a painful moment, when the realization hits – oh, wait, he’s not here anymore. This time, unlike some others when he has shown up in my dreams, I didn’t have the bittersweet joy – albeit short-lived, whist dreaming – of talking to him, of seeing him, of experiencing him alive once more, because in this dream I didn’t get to talk to him. I dreamed I was trying to each him via cell phone, but could not. I woke, reaching for my phone, to text him – “Call me!” Of course he never will. I don’t feel the overwhelming sadness at that thought that I used to, now. It comes with the understanding that our time has passed; that his time has.Read more …

A Self-Care Champion

Damn I’ve been doing a lot of writing lately. Well, not “writing” writing – you know, hot, steamy, messy, sexy writing – but lots of the writing that I originally created my blog for. It didn’t start out as a sex blog. I think that evolution happened with W. I was having all these amazing sexy encounters (with accompanying pics) and…well, I wanted to show them off. What we were doing, in images and words. I have never been able to color inside the lines, though, so my blog became a story as well, not just a series of encounters. It became the story of our lives – W’s, Ad’s and mine – as well as an account of all the sex we got up to. I really wanted to write about relationship dynamics, about being poly in a mono world, about being kinky in a non-kink world, and IRead more …

All healing is first a healing of the heart

Sep 26, 2018 | Posted by in Relationship Stuff, Wicked Wednesday | 6

I can probably say I know a lot about healing. Not that I have suffered that much in my life. Seriously, I have been blessed in so many ways. But I have had to find a way to go on, as most of us do, after a tragedy. And I have found it. I believe I have found the path to healing because I have been so very blessed. To do anything else would be to throw the gifts of love and kindness and support away; to deny their power and importance in my life. And so, I find my way to a place of healing, even when I believe there is none.   This is truth, although, in the depths of being broken, I did not know it. I am better now than I ever was. Pain has sharpened my humility; sorrow has deepened my empathy. I am stronger,Read more …

Someday…

“Someday” is a really hard concept for me. I have always been an “in the moment” person. Delayed gratification has never been my strong suit. One of my earliest memories is one I am ashamed of, and yet so epitomizes me in regards to delayed gratification. My “real” dad, my biological father, got to see me only every other Saturday, and even that my mom and stepdad did their best to ruin or minimize if they could. We’d go on some adventure, and then, on the way back to my mom’s, we’d split a Hershey bar. It was our special treat (and it is my favorite chocolate to this day.) On this Saturday, he was running late in getting me back to my mom. I didn’t know then what I  do now: any minor transgression my mom would report to the court, to use against my father to deny himRead more …

What’s love got to do with it

Aug 29, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Wicked Wednesday | 7

I’m feeling contemplative today. The other night, after unpacking from the weekend and doing my Sinful Sunday post, I laid in bed and thought about my life: where it was, what I had wanted; where it is, what I want now. I wrote this to Vipelr: “I’m trying to figure out the life I want and it’s not always the life I have and I wonder if I just settle for the life I have because I know I can’t have the life I want.” I’m trying to figure out if I really feel that way – that I am settling for what I can have, because I can’t have what I really want – or if that is just something I a) have told myself for so long that it’s become “true” in my head, even if it really isn’t; and b) the thing I think when I amRead more …

Collaboration

col·lab·o·ra·tion kəˌlabəˈrāSH(ə)n noun 1. the action of working with someone to produce or create something. An internet meme is a kind of collaboration. A blogger, a writer, an author, imagines a theme and creates a space where other writer/bloggers can post their own contributions to the theme: Sinful Sunday Wicked Wednesday Masturbation Monday Friday is Boobday February Photofest Kink of the Week Food for Thought Friday All collaborations. As is my own, the Scavenger Hunt. The Scavenger Hunt is a collaboration in more than just being a meme though (at least to me.) The Scavenger Hunt feels like…an heirloom, a legacy. It has been through several “facilitators”…other bloggers that have managed it and then, for one reason or another, had to let it go. I am only the last of these facilitators. I took over the Scavenger Hunt at a particularly sensitive time in my writing life: I had closedRead more …