Relationship Stuff

#AtoZChallenge – X is for XXX

“I’m going to go home, unpack, crawl into bed and administer a little self-care,” I say. “Oh? And what exactly does that ‘self-care’ entail?” I detect, even over the car’s speaker, a change in his tone. A very subtle edge. I am a master at sussing the nuances of his tone. It is an enthusiasm of mine to recognize the shift in his mood or attention or intention just by the subtleties of his tone of voice. I hesitate a moment. I’ve been flirting with the limits of this past(?) rule. I’ve pleasured myself many times without permission these past weeks. Yes, it has been satisfying, in terms of pure physical needs. And it has been interesting to find myself dipping into my old fantasies to use as wank material, deliberately avoiding the ones he has placed in my head these past years. But it also lacks…that special something thatRead more …

#AtoZChallenge – R is for…Realization, Risk & Rules

Wow, when I started brainstorming an “R” word, I had no idea that there were at least THREE memes with wonderful R words all ready for me to take on. Hold on to your hats, folks, this might be a long one. (Being cooped up for days in the aftermath of surgery, with lots of pain medication and nothing else to do might account for my long-winded-ness too. Who knows.) First up… Realization From The Erotic Journal Challenge, “Realization – Write about a time when you realized something about your sexuality.” I’ve tried looking back to find the one pivotal moment when I realized that I might be…different…than other people that I knew in regards to sex (I was raised in a very small town where, if there was any hint of any kind of sexual “deviancy,” it was well-hidden.) I think the best I can do is maybe just listRead more …

#AtoZChallenge – N is for No

“No” might seem to be an odd thing to be grateful for. Especially for a submissive woman who really likes to please. But in the past year I have learned the power of no – even when it hurts or isn’t want I want to hear or say. I’m not talking only about my own “no’s.” My No’s I have finally realized/accepted a truth about myself. I used to think I was shy, although I admit, even then, it didn’t feel like it quite fit. I learned, particularly in the past year, that what I am is an introvert. That doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy socializing. When I finally do get myself “out there,” interacting with people in a social setting, I enjoy it very much! But my enjoyment has a very definite window of opportunity, and when that window closes, I’m done. It could be three nights inRead more …

The Erotic Journal Challenge Catch-Up Week

I was thrilled when Brigit of Brigit Writes announced that she was posting a “catch-up” week for the Erotic Journal Challenge prompts, allowing writers to answer any (or all) of the questions they had missed the first time around. (Or to add another post to one they had answered previously.) I had answered the first one, but had been too busy or just felt that I didn’t have enough to say that I hadn’t already said about the others. So this gives me a chance to answer some of the questions I missed in Q & A format, and not feel like I have to do a whole blog post on each one. We’ll see how it goes – if I get long-winded on any of them I may break it out on its own. Prompt #2: Discovery – When did you discover your own sexuality? For example, when wasRead more …

A Hairy Question

Mar 23, 2019 | Posted by in Kinky Stuff, Relationship Stuff | 0

V asked me today, “What would you do/how would you react if I were to tell you to not color your hair or do anything to it? To just let it be?” He wasn’t asking me about hairstyles. It’s a complicated question, especially right now, when our D/s is on the back burner, waiting for us to figure things out again. Or me to figure things out again. I’m not sure I could say it’s all the way on the back burner, though: I was over at V’s last night, and little bits of it crept in, here and there. I’m not talking about out-and-out play; we did play, but it felt oddly bereft of D/s, more like topping. Which was fine. I needed a good ass-whipping, and that was what I got. But in many of our other interactions last night, the D/s was there, simmering under the surface,Read more …

Forward by the scruff of my neck

I’m moving forward, if incrementally, into a more stable emotional space. I am hoping that feeling better will spur my motivation to write, as well – you know, like the sexy, naughty stuff – but we will see. At the moment, I’m not feeling any sexy, naughty stuff, much less doing any sexy naughty stuff, so it’s kind of a moot point, but, you know, it could happen. Or I could write fiction. As it stands, V and I are kind of in a holding pattern. We’re not off, but we’re not exactly on, either, as I struggle through the emotional morass I have found myself in. We’re holding still. We’re communicating (sometimes a lot) and mostly in healthy ways, and still seeing each other our two times/week. Last weekend we even saw each other in the middle of a weekend day (gasp.) But things aren’t entirely – or even remotely –Read more …

It’s 11:45 p.m. Do you know where your sleep is?

Feb 20, 2019 | Posted by in Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff | 2

I can’t find mine. I’ve fallen into the habit of not being able to settle down to write until after 10 or 11 at night, and not finishing up and being able to try to sleep till after midnight or 1 a.m. And then, sometimes, not even then. It’s wreaking havoc with my daylight hours; I am drowsy and nod off at my desk, I nap at lunch, I am bleary and unfocused. I yawn all day. I want to train myself out of it – make myself go to bed earlier, forsake my laptop, do all the things they say you’re supposed to do for good mental and physical health – but then I won’t get any writing done, and now that I’ve started again it’s like a flood of words in my head and I Have To Get Them Out. Or what, I don’t know. Part of thisRead more …

Random nonsense, buttplugs and writing. Oh, and brussel sprouts.

Jan 22, 2019 | Posted by in Kinky Stuff, Life Before, Relationship Stuff | 0

So, yeah. Here it is the (almost) beginning of the week and I am looking at my schedule for the next few days, and thinking about writing, and feeling both excited (yay, writing!) and guilty (how the fuck did I lose three straight days off work without writing? Or exercising. Or crocheting. Or, really, ANYTHING I had planned to get done??!??) My bed is soooo seductive. Especially when nighttime in my bed has been rather sucky, what with that whole “Nope, not gonna sleep til, like, 3 a.m. Or maybe 4. Yeah. 4 a.m. seems a reasonable time to go to sleep.” I know, I know, if I didn’t sleep all day I wouldn’t be awake all night. But I swear it started the other way around. “He started it!” But okay. Here we are. Where we are, by the way, is a Tuesday evening when it was too coldRead more …

More mash. Or maybe it’s mish…

At times I find (most times, lately) that I have to make myself sit down here and write. I feel vaguely ashamed of this admission. Writing – this blog and the many short stories I wrote – used to be my life. Truly. Though I got burned out at times, even then, I was so incredibly proud of what I had built at K&P. It was more than just the followers I had. Though “You like me! You really like me!” certainly described how I felt about it. It was even more than the salacious pleasure I got from knowing I could share these bawdy adventures, this crazy life, and people would read it. People would fantasize about it! It was even more than knowing it made W feel to read my accounts of what we’d done, knowing others were reading about it. (Yeah ok, maybe we were shallow thatRead more …

A Mish-Mash of Things

Dec 19, 2018 | Posted by in Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff, Wicked Wednesday | 3

I suppose that should be “things” lowercase t, but it’s a title, so it’s “Things” capital-T, even though it’s really just a random, unsorted, largely unrelated and probably not too interesting mish-mash of thoughts. I haven’t had time or inclination to write much, until this moment really, when I trudged up the third stairway to my room, a little wobbly from a very strong white Russian, but not wobbly-headed enough that I couldn’t contemplate putting fingers to keyboard. And suddenly I wanted to. My second WR is next to me on my nightstand, so we shall see how far I get. LOL Really, I should be spending every spare moment crocheting a gift I am making for my sister, but obviously I am not. Hah – crochet. That will be my number one not-very-interesting thing. Crochet I am making this for my sister. Which, frankly, freaks me out a littleRead more …