Relationship Stuff

Dear Younger Me…

Today is a better day. I woke up eager to write, in fact so much so that I left V’s house early so I could come in early to work to do so. I’d forgotten how much I like to be in the office before anyone else. Our hallway is dark, their offices too, this side of the building is quiet. It’s not that different when they are here, to be truthful, but without the extra bodies it’s just…peaceful. Oh, ha, I know why it feels good: it reminds me of working from home. It reminds me of getting up in the morning just at dawn in the Treehouse. I miss it there, sometimes. How colorful it was, how peaceful up there in the trees. I don’t miss not being able to walk everywhere; not having a wonderful park right in my neighborhood and the Botanical Gardens practically next door;Read more …

When even a massage doesn’t help.

May 31, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff | 0

This evening my massage therapist asked me what I’d like to get out of my massage, and I said, in complete honesty, please just take me out of my head. I had had a rough day on multiple fronts, not the least of which was my car – after I had driven it away from the mechanic, supposedly fixed – doing the same thing that had gotten it towed to the mechanics in the first place. Back to the drawing board. There were other things, too, interpersonal things, relationship bullshit that I really think we should all just be beyond, and just general life crap. Sometimes, really? I want to just say fuck it and walk away. Unfortunately this tale doesn’t have a happy ending like, oh she was so amazing all my worries were massaged away! Nope, instead she chatted the entire massage. I’ve had her before and notRead more …

Moving along in the alphabet…

Sooo…I got as far as “U” before life intervened again and blogging fell by the wayside. I had actually written words up to “X” but just couldn’t find the time to edit images to go with them and actually get them posted. By now they feel outdated. So, maybe I will just do a wrap-up and leave it at that… But seriously. This has been my life: 7 am – wake 8 – 5 am – work 6 – whenever – work on O & E’s house 9 or 10 pm – home to bed This is the first evening I took off to do the things I need to do: plant my garden, spend time with Adam, think about something other than tasks and projects at O & E’s. It’s weird being this involved in the renovation, sale and purchase of homes that aren’t mine…that have been made veryRead more …

Teasing and Torment

Mar 30, 2018 | Posted by in Kinky Stuff, Relationship Stuff | 2

I need to date and timestamp my posts. I started this…what, six, seven days ago? It feels like an eternity ago, because all that time I’ve been on punishment, the saga of which I detail below. **************** I’m sitting here in bed, my tablet on my lap. Twenty minutes ago, I was doing exercises with a buttplug in my ass. Ten minutes ago I was laying on the floor, in the little space between my bed and my easy chair, still with buttplug in my ass, buzzing my Baldy against my clit and fantasizing about tying V to a cross and teasing him to a drippy, frustrated mess. Of course this was all at his behest – it’s continued punishment for that orgasm I stole. “Don’t you remember last time you stole an orgasm?” he said, when I complained about the situation. “Obviously not,” he says, sighing. “Looks like youRead more …

Ready

Mar 19, 2018 | Posted by in Masturbation Monday, Relationship Stuff | 4

It’s early afternoon and already I’m ready… Ready to walk out of here for the night. Ready to sip my wine cool my heels pretend I’m not just killing time until the moment I see you Ready to see your smile as you walk up to my car open the door pull me into your arms. Ready to feel your hand in my hair your lips on mine. Ready to taste your tongue in my mouth to feel the hard length of your cock inside your jeans pressed against my hip. I’m ready to follow you downstairs undress while you watch to fall to my knees before you to feel your hand on my back – a benediction. Ready to feel the whip on my flesh your hands rough on my skin your voice in my ear your body against mine. Ready to writhe beneath the kiss of the whip andRead more …

Of Subdrop & Self-Care

Dec 5, 2017 | Posted by in Being Poly, Kinky Stuff, Life Before, Relationship Stuff | 2

Whoa…it’s been awhile since I’ve had a bona fide case of subdrop. Long enough that I can’t really remember when it last was. I didn’t even drop after the event a few weekends ago, when I spent two full days and nights with both guys, got cut on, and beat up, and made to fuck a dragon cock in public while Viper shoved a glass dildo up my ass. Oh, and I happened to be wrapped up tight in neon pink vet-wrap so that I looked like an amputee. With a ballgag in my mouth and vet-wrap over my eyes too, up on a table where a dungeon full of kinksters could watch as I was made to fuck myself silly, grinding helplessly against Baldy, the dragon cock in my pussy and V pushing the glass wand in and out of my ass. It’s that part that is most embarrassing,Read more …

Summer’s End

Nov 5, 2017 | Posted by in Relationship Stuff, Sinful Sunday | 13

It’s finally the end of summer for real; fall has moved in with its glorious colors and cool, crisp temperatures. I wasn’t really ready to say goodbye. I said goodbye to something else too, recently: a romantic relationship with RG. A couple weekends ago I told him how I was feeling. I told him that, although I wanted (very much) to feel a certain way about him, although I had tried to feel that way, I just didn’t. I didn’t feel romantic towards him, and couldn’t have a sexual/romantic relationship with him. There are a number of factors that went into that realization, but the one I shared with him is my lack of emotional availability. I thought I had it in me to love someone else romantically, but…I just don’t. Everything I have is so wrapped up in V, there isn’t room for anyone else, except Adam. I love RGRead more …

Space of My Own

I am always always always late on these Wicked Wednesday posts, even when they are something I want to write about. Even though I get the email as soon as Marie Rebel posts the prompt. Maybe I should make that a blogging goal. I have decided to make myself modest (very modest) writing goals this year, because, in the past, that has worked to some degree for me.. Nothing like the goals I have set in the past (a story a month submitted for publication? How crazy was that? Even crazier that every one of them got published…) but something to work for, something to give me a little boost whenever I make a goal. So? Maybe doing – at minimum – the Wicked Wednesday prompts. We’ll see. Still cogitating on that one. Anyway, I digress. This past Wednesday’s prompt was about “space.” The prompt talked about space like, youRead more …

Too Little

I walked home in the unseasonably warm temperatures tonight, trudging across the common ground between my building and Adam’s in a one piece pajama suit and my tennis shoes. I’d had laundry to do; we’d had dinner and watched The Magicians together. It’s a weekly ritual – the washer and dryer are at his place, as is cable TV and the dog. But I always come home to the Treehouse, because I can’t sleep with the dog – even tho sometimes I do, here at my place, when I can talk Adam into bringing him over and staying the night. We have settled into a routine. Monday night is school and then I’m out at V’s; Tuesday we sometimes do dinner at my place or go out, but Adam usually goes home afterwards so that I can study; Wednesday is as outlined above. Sometimes he comes back over with me,Read more …

So much to say…

I’ve heard  from a couple of friends, wondering where I am, if I’m well. I am. Well. And thinking about writing all the time. But then…I don’t. I get busy with school and work and life and the urge to record the doings of my life just isn’t there. I don’t know what to say anymore. I don’t know what to talk about. My life is good, my relationships are stable, I’m “rolling the ball forward,” as V says. But I don’t have anything very interesting to write about. I loved writing about sex. And it’s not like we don’t have good sex. Some pretty spectacular sex. But I don’t often find myself driven to talk about it here. I loved writing about kink. It’s not like we don’t have our brand of kink. Sometimes it’s kinky as fuck. But, again, I don’t often find myself compelled to share thoseRead more …