Relationship Stuff

A Birthday Weekend in the Smokies

(Ed. note: This was started the weekend of my birthday weekend, when we went to Gatlinburg. As usual, life has intervened in me getting this posted in a timely fashion, but, well, better late than never?) It’s 1 a.m. here, and I’m sitting at my little round table-for-two in front of the patio window, the door open so I can hear the breeze soughing through the trees, sipping on a rumchata and vodka. I just walked in about a half hour ago from a perfectly lovely weekend in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, with Adam and a group of friends at a cabin (they included V and his wife, E.) It’s so peaceful here. I thought all the way home that I’d be sad and lonely, when we finally got home and Adam went over to the Big Condo and V was home with his wife. But instead as soon as I walkedRead more …

Catching Up

Author’s note: I’ve started and stopped this post so many times, written and pondered and wanted to finish it and not done so time and again. I finally gave it up as too long ago to matter, but now here I am again, though the “why” I’m back revisiting family relationships and dynamics is different: I’m staying at my mom’s this week to keep her company while my stepdad goes back East to sit vigil on his youngest sister, who has been in a coma since a heart attack last week, and who was diagnosed with inoperable, stage 4 lung cancer the month that this trip happened. I had never met her before this and now…I have bonds to this family that weren’t mine until this trip. I’m struggling to disentangle my feelings about it all. So this post begins with my musings from yesterday about all this, and thenRead more …

Memory Lane

I’ve had the weekend to mostly to myself, while Adam’s been working and Viper has his family in town. It hasn’t been bad; I’ve found I enjoy my free time, as well the time I have alone here at the Treehouse. I have surprised myself by enjoying my quiet time, and by allowing myself to simply experience the solitude, to experience the occasional pang of loneliness and nostalgia without judgement, to be here, to be present. It’s a study in mindfulness I would not have thought possible a year ago, or even before W died, when being alone was something to be avoided at all costs. Now…sometimes…many times…I crave it. I like sleeping alone in my big, soft, bed. I like waking up and doing my morning things in the still dawn, with no one else’s needs or desires to think about. I like sitting on my deck with my dogRead more …

Re-Combobulation

Jun 18, 2016 | Posted by in Kinky Stuff, Relationship Stuff | 1

Pants around my ankles, legs spread wide around the seat of the toilet, fingers on my clit, the words and images of the dirty, taboo fantasy he and I share dancing in my mind, driving me forward to the edge – Whereupon I teeter, biting back a gasp and a whimper, my fingers straining to keep up their tempo, to drive me over the edge…   Except no. That was not what I had been told to do. My instructions were to get there and STOP. I pull my fingers away as though burned. I don’t want to make yet ANOTHER punishment-worthy mistake. That’s right, this was a punishment. And he was making me do it at work! I’ve never been someone that enjoys edging (pushing myself to the edge of orgasm, but then denying it. Sometimes over and over.) Rather, I have found it frustrating in a not-good way.Read more …

More Words & a Boobday!

Jun 9, 2016 | Posted by in Boob Day, Kink of the Week, Relationship Stuff | 0

“Every time you go pee today, I want you to write one letter of the word “slut” on your skin. Somewhere it won’t be seen by others, but that you’ll know it’s there, and every time you see it you’ll know you’re doing it for me, because you’re mine.” ********************************************* Sometimes I start these blog posts with this wide story-arc in mind…I’m going to start here and talk about this, and it’s going to tie into Wicked Wednesday, or Sinful Sunday, or Masturbation Monday or the Kink of the Week, and then it’s going to go here and there and I’ll talk about this and that, and then I’ll finish with a flourish in this other post that I have in mind, coming full circle and tying everything together perfectly! Some days, like Monday, I miss the boat entirely. But then you get random titty pictures! Okay, okay, it’s notRead more …

Prescient Words

Jun 8, 2016 | Posted by in Kink of the Week, Kinky Stuff, Relationship Stuff | 1

So…apparently I am a dolt (once again!) and missed the deadline for the Kink of the Week prompt, which was “writing on Skin.” Grrrrr…!!!! Still, I’m linking it here because I wrote it, damn it!  (Kiss the lips at the end to check out other delicious writings and images on the same topic.) I’ve always had a kink for being written on. I can remember as a child playing “writing” on my BFF’s back: first she would trace a word on my back that I would have to guess, then I on hers. There was the guessing game aspect of it, but there was also a sensuality that I recognized – and responded to – even as a child. I can remember, distinctly, the gooseflesh that would rise on my arms and the nape of my neck as her fingers traced fine lines and images on my skin. Thinking about itRead more …

Day 2 – Rubber Bands

Rubber bands have a special place in my heart now – they are the first item V had me use to “torture” myself while I was at work. We don’t get to see each other as often as I did W, and our time together is often family/vanilla time spent with his wife and daughter (which is lovely, don’t get me wrong) but there are many times when I need to be reminded – I need to feel – our D/s relationship more than time and our schedules permit. Many kink couples have the same issue, and so often they devise ways to keep both the D and the s reminded of the special dynamic they share. Playing remotely is one of those. V and I haven’t experimented with this a lot, but the times we have I have loved. They are games, yes, and they are fun, but theyRead more …

Chameleon

Jan 28, 2016 | Posted by in Kinky Stuff, Relationship Stuff | 2

I have a daily task given to me by V: to update my blog with a “kitten” (hentai catgirl) in the homepage widget that you may have noticed in the sidebar. Those of you that followed me from Kink & Poly may remember W’s, Ad’s and my foray into “pet” play – there was Onyx, my show pony, and Topaz, my wild pony. We had a lot of fun with my ponies. Onyx, in particular, was born directly out of W’s and my dynamic, a melding of two distinct kinks into one shared by both of us. I loved bringing Onyx out for W; she personified a part of me that – prior to Onyx – I had never allowed to come out.  She gave me the freedom to preen and show-off, to prance and dance and to feel pretty and be an exhibitionist. W loved this about Onyx, andRead more …

On Being Owned

Jan 23, 2016 | Posted by in Relationship Stuff | 4

I’ve talked about ownership and being owned a few times over the years over on Kink & Poly, what it meant to W and what it meant to me, within the context of our relationship. I think I distilled it down to its essence pretty well in “Owning My Sexuality as an Owned Slut,” as my sexuality was where W owned me the most. This is what I said there (originally in response to a thread on Fetlife that asked how you “prove” your sluthood – a stupid question, but one that actually made me think about what not means to call oneself a “slut” if you are owned.) I consider my sexuality to be “owned” by my BDSM partner. That is one of the tenets of W’s and my relationship. But, I do consider “owning my sexuality,” owning my identity as a sexual woman, with needs and desires ofRead more …