The Twelve Tasks of Kinkmas, Task 2

I’m sitting here at work trying to decide if I want to write about my “real life” and all the mixed feelings I am having, that seem to be overwhelming me right this minute, or just focus on the fun part (completing Day 2 of my Twelve Tasks of Kinkmas.) I guess accomplishing that, and the moments of levity the task induced, in juxtaposition with the mish-mash of feelings I’ve been experiencing, is my “real life.” But it seems sad to bring down my kinda-sexy, kinda-silly Kinkmas Tasks post with all the emotional backwash of the last day or so, so I’ll stick to the fun, for now. Might be that I’ll follow up with a “feelings” (whoa whoa whoa feelings) post at some later time. Task 2: Wear clamps on your nipples under a white blouse at work. Take a picture in your office. So ya’ll know I couldn’tRead more …

Holidays and The Twelve Tasks of Kinkmas, Task 1

Happy holidays from me to you! I admit to being uncomfortable with wishing a merry Christmas – not for anyone else’s sensibilities, but for my own. It irritates the piss out of me to celebrate something that was stolen from another culture in order to erase it, although to be honest pretty much all Christian/religious traditions probably ride on the back of others’ traditions, so…oh well. I’ll use the holiday season (whether you’re celebrating the Winter Solstice, Saturnalia or a special human’s birth) to make/buy gifts (my favorite part of the holiday – giving presents!), consume delicious meals, spend time with loved ones…and maybe (just maybe)…get my kink on a bit! This is a very different holiday for me than those in the past. Last night was the first time in many, many years that I spent the night alone. I was about to write that it will probably be theRead more …

Good Vibes

Dec 21, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 8

I am in hour number 24 of a migraine. I feel as though my skull is splitting. My teeth ache, my ear aches, my cheekbone and the bones around my eye and my jawbone are in an exquisite agony. Light and movement cause waves of pain that throb and then stab my head. So what am I doing, sitting here writing? I’ve taken four rounds of painkiller. In between I have taken tylonol, tylonol PM, and/or simply tried to wait out the pain, because the migraine medicine makes my stomach hurt so much. But when I do take it, I lay here awake because of the caffeine, and because of it, in spite of being unable to get up and move about, I am antsy and bored, my brain running a hundred miles a minute. It’s an awful cycle. Reading requires too much focus (and my eyes), listening to aRead more …

An Update

Dec 18, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 8

I keep thinking I should post something; update here; bring this space up-to-date. Then I face the blank screen, and all the words of all the things, and I lose the energy or initiative. I just want to make myself a drink and sink into a book under my covers. But I won’t. I will write words. I’m back from Cuba. Beautiful country, enjoyable and challenging trip all at once, friendships forged. It was a thing that challenged me but I DID IT. So there. Came back to North America (Toronto specifically) and spent two days and nights with M, my friend from the Chicago party and the organizer of the Cuba excursion. It was wonderful. We talked, we dined, we played. We like each other a lot. Things are progressing towards some kind of D/s-y LDR, though we are taking it slow as I work through my break-up withRead more …

An Update and Setting an Intention

Dec 6, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff | 2

I’ve started this post about half a dozen times. I’ve written and rewritten, I’ve been calm and matter-of-fact, I’ve been sad and lost, I’ve been angry and bitter, I’ve tried to convince the world (or at least that part of it that reads here) that I am justified in my reasons and I’ve simply spewed it all out, justifications be damned. And now, here I am, deciding, fuck it. I don’t want to rehash it all. It is what it is. I just want to move on. At least that’s what I feel right this moment. The next I may want to rehash it over and over until I’m sick of listening to myself. Who knows. It’s been a roller coaster of emotions, but I guess that’s to be expected. I broke up with V the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. For good this time. I think. I hope. There are allRead more …

Life as it is

Nov 25, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 4

I am awake late because I fell asleep in an extended, unanticipated nap shortly after 6 and only woke at 11 again. And now I can’t sleep for real, because too many hours napping! Ugh. It’s been a quiet weekend, mostly. Not a bad thing, as my life has been so busy that I am grateful for some downtime. My routine has been disrupted by the advent of Ad’s new job: after years of working the same (dead-end) job he finally got up the gumption to get another. I’m proud of him, and I hope that this initial position leads to a better one for him that utilizes his experience and training. But the hours are odd, and he didn’t account for Felix – our dog, whom he has custody of since my roommate has a yappy, aggressive Chihuahua – who needs to be let out at night, during Adam’sRead more …

#naughtyScavengerHunt – Castle

Nov 19, 2019 | Posted by in Everyday Jade, Scavenger Hunt, Wicked Wednesday | 7

I awoke this morning with a migraine – “morning” being at 3AM. But instead of laying in bed moaning (and not in a good way) I decided to make the most of my unasked-for morning hours: I downloaded some photos, posted a Sinful Sunday, reminisced about a fun weekend and decided to write another blog post (this one.) The main reason that we went down to the Lake of the Ozarks the other weekend was to hike up to the castle at Ha Ha Tonka State Park. It’s not an *actual* castle, there were no knights or dukes, kings, queens, serfs or a moat here: it’s a replica built by a rich businessman from Kansas City in the early 1900’s. His family actually used it as a vacation home before it burned down. Thereafter the ruins and the 5,000 wooded acres it stands on, as well as Missouri’s 12th largest spring,Read more …

#SinfulSunday Giggles

Nov 18, 2019 | Posted by in Sinful Sunday | 13

It’s 4AM here in my part of the world, and I’m awake with a migraine, so I decided what the heck, I’ll post on the blog! Actually I decided I was going to organize all my bazillions of photos into folders/onto one cloud platform, but that sucked the life right outta me and intensified the migraine, so instead I thought I’d post an image from the past-past weekend in the Ozarks with Allan. This is often what spending time with him looks like – not necessarily the bath, but the smiles. And here, as an added bonus, is another that illustrates why – we just have fun together.  

Whoa

Nov 16, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff | 2

Whoa – I’m feeling good. Maybe it’s because my medication has settled out, or because I’m coming out of menopause-imposed insanity, but I don’t think so. I think it’s because…well, maybe I’m learning some stuff. Maybe I’m finally figuring out what I want my life to look like and how I want to live it. Maybe it’s because I am shaping my life to be that – what I want. I have been doing the emotional labor and now am making the life decisions to put me there: where I want to be. It feels good. It feels right. Also, because some of these are BIG life changes, it’s a bit scary. But that’s okay. Scary-ness in the service of living authentically can be managed. Even savored a bit. I am embracing my life as a solo poly person (for a good explanation of the term, see this excellent article:Read more …

Two Weekends, and Some Brooding

Two weekends, a weekend apart: so very different. I’ve gone to kink events alone – or thought I had, before the spanking event I went to a couple weeks ago. Actually, in retrospect, I may have traveled to those parties by myself (Boardwalk Badness Weekend in Atlantic City ~10 years ago, Kinky Kollege only last year) but the reality is, I wasn’t there alone. In both cases, I met friends there, I shared a room with friend(s), so while I wasn’t there with a partner, I definitely had people I knew around me. Apparently that is a key to my enjoyment of the event. Not that I don’t enjoy the travel alone, the being in a different place alone – I very deliberately chose that when I decided to go to Crimson Moon (the spanking party.) But apparently friends – or friends-to-be – are vital to my enjoyment of theRead more …