Tag Archives: grief

It’s 11:45 p.m. Do you know where your sleep is?

Feb 20, 2019 | Posted by in Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff | 2

I can’t find mine. I’ve fallen into the habit of not being able to settle down to write until after 10 or 11 at night, and not finishing up and being able to try to sleep till after midnight or 1 a.m. And then, sometimes, not even then. It’s wreaking havoc with my daylight hours; I am drowsy and nod off at my desk, I nap at lunch, I am bleary and unfocused. I yawn all day. I want to train myself out of it – make myself go to bed earlier, forsake my laptop, do all the things they say you’re supposed to do for good mental and physical health – but then I won’t get any writing done, and now that I’ve started again it’s like a flood of words in my head and I Have To Get Them Out. Or what, I don’t know. Part of thisRead more …

G is for Goodbye

Apr 7, 2018 | Posted by in A-Z Blogging Challenge, Life Before | 2

“Goodbye Norma Jean,” in particular. Why that? Well. Let me tell you. I’d been flailing about for a few days, reaching for, and never quite finding, a good “G” word. Of course there is “Gratitude.” And that is always an important one for me to muse on, to internalize, to write and think about. But…every other word so far has felt like…inspiration. A gift, urging me to write, in a time when writing hasn’t been a thing. How do I explain it, when a thing is so important to you…when it’s such an integral part of you that imagining it gone is inconceivable…and then it is. Gone. Just like that. A neat, precise incision cut out of your very center, like with an apple corer. A hole punched in you. That was how my writing has been for me. Until just these last few days. I don’t know what itRead more …

Take Two

Mar 22, 2016 | Posted by in Everyday Jade, Life Before | 7

I have been working on a long, depressing blog post for more than a month. This month marks a year since The Thing That Happened Last February. February 28th marks the last time I saw him alive, though he lived – hidden by his family from me – for another 23 days. It’s been a rough two months. I’ve written words about it these two months. Many of them, in fact. I’ve written words and cried tears and written more words. I’ve tried to write about other things, but those are the only words I’ve managed to write. And while I’ve done that, while I’ve struggled to make sense of a world that felt like it stopped in February of last year, the world has proved me wrong, and gone on. February is just another month, as is March. Warren was just another person who died. Lots of people diedRead more …