Tag Archives: noodling

Strategy 101

Jul 4, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Who Is Pieces of Jade? | 0

I’m not good at strategy games. Chess is so far beyond my ken as to be a game played in a foreign language. I just can’t think that far in the future, can’t begin to anticipate my own moves, much less anyone else’s. And I have absolutely no desire to manipulate people or situations. In case it isn’t abundantly clear, I’m talking about how I manage myself in relationships as well. I’m not good at games where each side is premeditating and calculating every move. When I try to anticipate, to do something that will effect a specific result, I invariably fall short. Yes, I can see a little ahead. I’m not blind to consequences and how what I do now affects what happens later. But I’m not good at strategizing. At planning my moves to achieve a certain outcome. And I don’t necessarily want to be. I mean, IRead more …

June 16 – Roleplay

Jun 13, 2018 | Posted by in Every Damn Day in June, Kink of the Week, Kinky Stuff | 0

Do I or Don’t I? This week’s Kink of the Week is role play. (Yes, I wrote for it; no, I didn’t post it in time to link to it. Boo.) Anyway, I started this post out firmly in the camp of, “I hate roleplay!” and was relieved to read Kayla’s post on the topic: she dislikes role play for many of the same reasons that I do. It seems like everyone else is into it, in some form or another, and I’ve always felt a little like the odd man out. Oh, there have been very specific, in-the-moment times of something like roleplay in V’s and my sexual history that have been hot, but in general I am not fond of the typical kinds of roleplay: sex with the boss, doctor/nurse, sexy strangers, etc. So it was nice to find someone else who isn’t as well. (After reading aRead more …

And another challenge

Jun 4, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Every Damn Day in June | 0

This time, my own – the challenge I feel to write when I feel like I do right now. I don’t like to write here when I feel like everything is shit. When I’m down, when it feels like nothing will work out right, I don’t want to pollute this space. Also, I am very aware that words I write here are not private. I always have to censor myself to a degree. And frankly, it’s hard to do when I feel like this. I have, in fact, written this post 3 or 4 times and deleted how and why I am feeling the way I am. But it’s Every Damn Day, so here I am. There was retail therapy this afternoon. I know, not a good way to deal with emotional distress. But I got some adorable dresses out of it. Of course it will cause more angst when theRead more …

Primaries and Hierarchical Poly

May 25, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 1

I’ve been doing a lot of painting lately, which lends itself to a lot of rumination. And what I’ve been pondering the last few weeks is the notion of “primaries,” in relationship structure. In particular, my relationship structure with Adam. Adam and I have been living apart for some time now (a little over a year.) And as I’ve noted, I really enjoy my solo life – and in addition, I enjoy the time I do spend with him a lot more. I’ve finally structured my life in a way that works for me: I see V twice a week, with him over at my house 2 Mondays a month and one weekend night (I’d like this to be more flexible, with some daytime activities or additional time thrown in there, but for now I am okay with things); I see Adam one weekend night and one weekend day, plusRead more …

S, T, U…

OMG I have been running non-stop since the Thursday before last. The last update I made, as I sat poolside in Vegas, may have been the last moment I had to just sit and contemplate things until now, and even now I am sneaking in this writing while I am at work. So yeah, the #AtoZBloggingChallenge fell by the wayside — though I kept up (more or less) with my daily orgasms, which effort may be chronicled here in future if I ever get time to do so. BUT…since I still have one day left in April, I thought I’d try to fill in the alphabet gaps between the letter R and the letter Z in one extended blog post. Just because. Author’s note: I only got through to U before I had to take a break. Sooo…there will be more to come, because I’m stubborn like that! S isRead more …

D is for Divulge

Apr 4, 2018 | Posted by in A-Z Blogging Challenge, Everyday Jade | 0

How much do you divulge to a new acquaintance? Someone who you have not met thru the usual alternative channels? Except for work and school, with their artificial spheres of friendship and camaraderie, I haven’t made a potential new friend outside those spaces in…I don’t know how long. Today, I did. Well, not exactly today. I’d met her a couple weeks ago. We were both at my Tuesday morning coffee shop, me with my laptop to ostensibly get some programming done before work, she with hers to (I was to learn) do an interview over Slack for a programming job. She saw the program I had up on my screen when she walked behind me to get to her table, and after a moment, asked me what language I was programming in. Being me, I was flustered and promptly forget every programming language out there. I think I may haveRead more …

A is for Arousal

Reading Marie of Rebel’s Notes’ Sinful Sunday post today reminded me that April is the month for the A-Z Blogging Challenge. I participated one year a few years ago, and another year we played our own A-Z blogging game, our public-rope-themed Alphabet Challenge (which was way more fun than any three people should be allowed to have together, and gave me so many wonderful memories with W – all chronicled in my then-blog, Kink and Poly.) I am still awed by the sheer volume of writings I did there, by the friends I made through that blog, by the way it not only chronicled our lives – W’s, Ad’s and mine, as well as my children’s and others who we came into contact with – through the years, but by the way it informed our lives together. It was, in the way that a location sometimes becomes a character of its own inRead more …

Just Because I Feel Like Writing

Jan 11, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 1

I don’t have a theme to this post, or anything in particular I need to get off my chest, to work through, to say. I’m just feeling…chatty, I guess, feeling like nattering on about inconsequential things, something I haven’t done here in quite awhile. Sometimes it seems like everything I write here has to be “Important” with a capital “I”, or that I am so bound up in things that are happening and desperate to walk my way through them in writing (because that’s how I work things out best) that everything I write is heavy with the weight of its own significance (at least to me.) But tonight…no, I just feel like writing. I was so inspired I couldn’t even wait until I got home (though once here I did do two hours of homework before I allowed myself blog time.) Here is what I “wrote” via voice whileRead more …

A New Year’s Eve at the Beach

Round about a month ago, I got the sudden impulse to see the ocean before the year ends. I know, I’d just spent five days in the mountains, and a long weekend at Lake Michigan this past summer, but nothing works to soothe my soul like the sound of waves, the smell of salt water, the sight of the endless horizon of the sea. Adam, being the lovely soul that he is, agreed to indulge me, and we planned a twelve-and-a-half-hour road trip to the Carolina coast on the spur of the moment. And that’s I ended up by the beach for four days over the New Year’s Eve weekend, and I couldn’t have been happier. I had enjoyed my time with Les in the mountains, and felt I was very relaxed there, but after just a couple days away with Adam I realized I probably wasn’t as relaxed as IRead more …

Labels

Sep 21, 2017 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Who Is Pieces of Jade? | 1

I learned a brand new-to-me term for a poly partner: anchor partner. I’m familiar with primary partner, of course, and nesting partner, but “anchor” is a new one to me. I believe it encompasses exactly what role Adam is in my life, though. I’ve never had an issue with labels. Language and the words we use are how we communicate ideas to one another. Unlike some people, I don’t feel that a label is necessarily limiting, nor does it have to be all-encompassing. To me, a label is a starting point. A place where we can pause and reflect, and then expound upon it – or not – as needed. When I was with W and Adam, W insisted on a hierarchical approach to labeling our relationships. Adam was “primary,” W was “secondary.” He insisted on it being that way. But it was not very long before I knew thatRead more …