Tag Archives: noodling

Whoa

Nov 16, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff | 2

Whoa – I’m feeling good. Maybe it’s because my medication has settled out, or because I’m coming out of menopause-imposed insanity, but I don’t think so. I think it’s because…well, maybe I’m learning some stuff. Maybe I’m finally figuring out what I want my life to look like and how I want to live it. Maybe it’s because I am shaping my life to be that – what I want. I have been doing the emotional labor and now am making the life decisions to put me there: where I want to be. It feels good. It feels right. Also, because some of these are BIG life changes, it’s a bit scary. But that’s okay. Scary-ness in the service of living authentically can be managed. Even savored a bit. I am embracing my life as a solo poly person (for a good explanation of the term, see this excellent article:Read more …

More Kinktober – Play Parties/Dungeon

Oct 25, 2019 | Posted by in Kink & Scenes, Kinktober 2019 | 1

I love it when plans come together. I resisted making lots of plans for this weekend’s kink event, knowing that – especially at this particular one, Kinky Kollege – I tend to overplan and then to get overwhelmed, and end up not doing the things I really wanted to do. So this past week or so I’ve just been putting desultory feelers out there, keeping an eye on the event discussions, but not jumping in too much or doing my usual online socializing and setting up play plans. And I’ve ended up with what feels like a good balance. Friday is a bit activity and potential-play heavy, but I can balance that out with a quieter Saturday night, and then round it all out with a Sunday morning demo bottom opportunity to send me on my way, and back to Viper, who I am (in an unusual situation) seeing SundayRead more …

Greetings from Chicagoland

Oct 16, 2019 | Posted by in Kink & Scenes, Wicked Wednesday | 2

Hellooo all you lovely people! Much like my posts from the Grand Canyon (that, yes, I still haven’t finished) this is going to be another discombobulated, rambling, back-and-forth-in-time blog post. The thing is, it’s just too damn hard to make it all coherent afterwards, so…you get a mish-mash. I’ll try to organize it by day at least… Friday Afternoon So hey ho! Here I am, ensconced at a hotel with about 300 other kinky folk – well, spankos, to be precise. (I just got told downstairs by a nice boy from London that that he was told at his first spanking party to “avoid the BDSM/kinky crowd,” because our kind and his kind don’t mix. In my many years of mixing in all the groups, I have found that this tends to have more than a drop of truth in it, but I’m pretty sure I left him with aRead more …

Kinktober, A Spanking Event & Anxieties

And now we have a Station Break from our regularly scheduled drama, “The Grand Canyon and Beyond,” (soon to be continued – promise!) I’ve had an up-all-night for-no-good-reason kind of night. Sleeping meds finally dropped me over into Morpheous’ arms at about 1:30 a.m., but they only hold for so long, and here it is 5:50 a.m. and I’m awake AF. I’ve got my upcoming trip to Chicago on my mind. It’s to a Thurs-Sun spanking party, and while I was excited for all kinds of reasons to sign up, a lot of those had to do with nostalgia, and wanting to make a statement about this new reality I find myself in, as well as the sheer fun I hoped I would have. And still do hope! But, as with everything, it’s complicated. One of the sillier complications has to do with clothing; with presentation. I had no idea,Read more …

Taking Back My Power

In the “better late than never – no really,” category, I’m chiming in on the SafeworD/s Club, “Tell Me About…” prompt for “Power Exchange.” Of course the meme has already closed, because that’s how I roll (ugh). But this topic is top of mind for me right now, as I navigate the ways in which V’s and my relationship has changed during this D/s hiatus. Power exchange, freely and consensually giving up one’s power to another, is a heady thing. It is at the core of being a submissive, of desiring to submit to another. To submit to, to give one’s power to, another. For me it is obviously sexual; perhaps not so obviously, it also has deeper meaning than just the sexual. When I started this with V, I stated, quite emphatically, that D/s was not what I wanted. I wanted a play partner. Someone to “do the thingsRead more …

Day 7 – Risks

I’ve missed and/or jumbled up my days. My participation has not been 100% on #DearJune either, but I’m okay with that. Well, I think about it a bit, because I couldn’t be me if I didn’t let it bother me a little, but not so bad as it might have done. I give myself a frowny face and then move on. Anyway, here’s the post I made on Instagram for (what I think was) Day 7, the prompt being “risks.” On the heels of a post that felt entirely appropriate at the time – and I will not deny my own experience of things – but in the light of day I realize was…an emotional reaction, and possibly not the best representation of the situation…this post means a lot to me. It reminds of the risks I took when I decided to give my submission and my love to another.Read more …

Waiting for the tide to come in.

May 27, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff | 7

I was thinking about writing a Masturbation Monday tonight, but realized I don’t have it in me just now. I did work on my entry for the Smut Marathon, so there’s a spark of sexiness floating around out there, but really, it’s a feeble spark, and easily doused. It’s been that way for several weeks now. No sex, no kink, no erotic energy to speak of. There’s lots of reasons – life has been chaotic in ways just not conducive to sexiness – but damn. I miss it. I can’t remember the last time I had a good BDSM scene. And Saturday night’s sex with V was the first in almost the same amount of time. I feel like we’ve forgotten what that kind of energy feels like. And though I know (hope) it will come back, there’s this fear that it won’t. Kind of like the D/s has notRead more …

E_Lust 118

May 24, 2019 | Posted by in e_lust, On Writing | 0

Photo courtesy of My Controlled Ascent Welcome to Elust 118– The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #119? Start with the rules, come back June 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!   ~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~ I have daddy issues Processing Emotions about Polyamory Mirror Masturbation ~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~ V is for view Not Alone ~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~ Negotiating “NO”   *You really should consider adding your popular posts here too* All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of theRead more …

#SmutMarathon – Round 4 Thoughts

May 12, 2019 | Posted by in 2019 Smut Marathon, On Writing | 6

So I’m a bit late on this. It’s actually been sitting in my Drafts for several days, but haven’t had the time, or sometimes the energy, to post it. Not in a bad way – tho my continued limited mobility as I wait for my feet to heal continues to bum me out – but just in the way of, whenever I have time to stop I don’t feel like using the brainpower it would take to finish this up and post it. So. Tonight is a “me” night, when I have no boys to think about, and did not schedule anything people-oriented – yay. This round seemed to feel a lot less stressful than the first three. The word count was higher, so there’s that, but not by so much that it feels like it should have made a huge difference – though I did get myself in aRead more …

#AtoZChallenge – Q is for Questions

So this post started on…oh…Thursday? But here it is Saturday and since it IS Saturday, and since I am definitely giving the shout-out to some pretty amazing bloggers that happen to host some kick-ass memes, I’ll include this as a “Share Our Shit Saturday” post. We will not be silenced. Q is for Questions Questions, I have so many questions! I really do. About everything. Well, maybe not about “everything.” Mostly about people. What makes them (me) work, why we do the things we do, who we are and how we got here. Our motivations, our hopes and dreams and sorrows and joys. Things like that. This blog is mostly that kind of questioning. Introspection. Musing on the human condition thru my own experiences. Though sometimes I recognize it for the self-centered endeavor that it is. Me, my life, my thoughts… Except that I’ve seen the domino effect that meRead more …