Tag Archives: noodling

Primaries and Hierarchical Poly

May 25, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 0

I’ve been doing a lot of painting lately, which lends itself to a lot of rumination. And what I’ve been pondering the last few weeks is the notion of “primaries,” in relationship structure. In particular, my relationship structure with Adam. Adam and I have been living apart for some time now (a little over a year.) And as I’ve noted, I really enjoy my solo life – and in addition, I enjoy the time I do spend with him a lot more. I’ve finally structured my life in a way that works for me: I see V twice a week, with him over at my house 2 Mondays a month and one weekend night (I’d like this to be more flexible, with some daytime activities or additional time thrown in there, but for now I am okay with things); I see Adam one weekend night and one weekend day, plusRead more …

S, T, U…

OMG I have been running non-stop since the Thursday before last. The last update I made, as I sat poolside in Vegas, may have been the last moment I had to just sit and contemplate things until now, and even now I am sneaking in this writing while I am at work. So yeah, the #AtoZBloggingChallenge fell by the wayside — though I kept up (more or less) with my daily orgasms, which effort may be chronicled here in future if I ever get time to do so. BUT…since I still have one day left in April, I thought I’d try to fill in the alphabet gaps between the letter R and the letter Z in one extended blog post. Just because. Author’s note: I only got through to U before I had to take a break. Sooo…there will be more to come, because I’m stubborn like that! S isRead more …

D is for Divulge

Apr 4, 2018 | Posted by in A-Z Blogging Challenge, Everyday Jade | 0

How much do you divulge to a new acquaintance? Someone who you have not met thru the usual alternative channels? Except for work and school, with their artificial spheres of friendship and camaraderie, I haven’t made a potential new friend outside those spaces in…I don’t know how long. Today, I did. Well, not exactly today. I’d met her a couple weeks ago. We were both at my Tuesday morning coffee shop, me with my laptop to ostensibly get some programming done before work, she with hers to (I was to learn) do an interview over Slack for a programming job. She saw the program I had up on my screen when she walked behind me to get to her table, and after a moment, asked me what language I was programming in. Being me, I was flustered and promptly forget every programming language out there. I think I may haveRead more …

A is for Arousal

Reading Marie of Rebel’s Notes’ Sinful Sunday post today reminded me that April is the month for the A-Z Blogging Challenge. I participated one year a few years ago, and another year we played our own A-Z blogging game, our public-rope-themed Alphabet Challenge (which was way more fun than any three people should be allowed to have together, and gave me so many wonderful memories with W – all chronicled in my then-blog, Kink and Poly.) I am still awed by the sheer volume of writings I did there, by the friends I made through that blog, by the way it not only chronicled our lives – W’s, Ad’s and mine, as well as my children’s and others who we came into contact with – through the years, but by the way it informed our lives together. It was, in the way that a location sometimes becomes a character of its own inRead more …

Just Because I Feel Like Writing

Jan 11, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 1

I don’t have a theme to this post, or anything in particular I need to get off my chest, to work through, to say. I’m just feeling…chatty, I guess, feeling like nattering on about inconsequential things, something I haven’t done here in quite awhile. Sometimes it seems like everything I write here has to be “Important” with a capital “I”, or that I am so bound up in things that are happening and desperate to walk my way through them in writing (because that’s how I work things out best) that everything I write is heavy with the weight of its own significance (at least to me.) But tonight…no, I just feel like writing. I was so inspired I couldn’t even wait until I got home (though once here I did do two hours of homework before I allowed myself blog time.) Here is what I “wrote” via voice whileRead more …

A New Year’s Eve at the Beach

Round about a month ago, I got the sudden impulse to see the ocean before the year ends. I know, I’d just spent five days in the mountains, and a long weekend at Lake Michigan this past summer, but nothing works to soothe my soul like the sound of waves, the smell of salt water, the sight of the endless horizon of the sea. Adam, being the lovely soul that he is, agreed to indulge me, and we planned a twelve-and-a-half-hour road trip to the Carolina coast on the spur of the moment. And that’s I ended up by the beach for four days over the New Year’s Eve weekend, and I couldn’t have been happier. I had enjoyed my time with Les in the mountains, and felt I was very relaxed there, but after just a couple days away with Adam I realized I probably wasn’t as relaxed as IRead more …

Labels

Sep 21, 2017 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Who Is Pieces of Jade? | 1

I learned a brand new-to-me term for a poly partner: anchor partner. I’m familiar with primary partner, of course, and nesting partner, but “anchor” is a new one to me. I believe it encompasses exactly what role Adam is in my life, though. I’ve never had an issue with labels. Language and the words we use are how we communicate ideas to one another. Unlike some people, I don’t feel that a label is necessarily limiting, nor does it have to be all-encompassing. To me, a label is a starting point. A place where we can pause and reflect, and then expound upon it – or not – as needed. When I was with W and Adam, W insisted on a hierarchical approach to labeling our relationships. Adam was “primary,” W was “secondary.” He insisted on it being that way. But it was not very long before I knew thatRead more …

Loneliness & Other Failures

Feb 22, 2016 | Posted by in 2016 February Photofest, Being Poly | 5

Loneliness is a hard nut to crack. It’s not as easy as “spend time with people” – I’ve spent a good part of my life lonely in the middle of a crowd. It’s not as easy as “spend time with your significant other” – I spent a good portion of my second marriage feeling lonely. Not even the old standby “you have to love yourself!” erases it – I don’t believe this is about loving myself or not. So what is it about? Why do I feel lonely sitting in a bar at a munch while everyone drinks and laughs and talks; or at a play party watching everyone around me engaging with each other joy and abandon? Why do I feel lonely at times as I lay next to a lover after play, physically satiated but filled with a longing I can’t place? Why did I feel lonely last nightRead more …

Word Play

Dec 24, 2015 | Posted by in Kinky Stuff, Life Before | 0

It’s been awhile since I’ve had to think about how I define myself, about the meaning of certain words that we, as a community, use to define our roles; as well as (and sometimes as opposed to) how we, as individuals, define and label ourselves. I’ve always been a proponent of using labels – as a starting point. Humans need to be able to communicate with words, especially as so much communication takes place in text and as so much of our lifestyle depends on the definitions of roles. One way to embark on effective communication about who you are is to find a word to use as a starting point and discuss what it means to you, individually, and how that mirrors – or differs from – their definition. Thus, labels. W and I had several years to discuss, hash out and refine what we meant when we saidRead more …

Silence

Dec 24, 2015 | Posted by in Everyday Jade, Life Before | 0

I’ve written about silence a time or twelve in my blog before, but always in the context of the BDSM play…being gagged, being told to be silent. It was hot, it was exciting, it could be humiliating, it could be a huge turn-on. I loved it, because I love to talk, and having my voice taken from me is powerful. Since W’s death, silence has a new meaning for me. I used to work in silence, all day. When I worked from my home office, I never turned on the TV, didn’t play music and even kept the sound off on my laptop. There was no one home for 8 hours a day but me and the dog, and I didn’t visit with neighbors. Same thing when I was working at my old office. Coworkers referred to my office as my cave because I’d disappear into it and not comeRead more …