Tag Archives: noodling

#AtoZChallenge – O is for Orgasms

Of course it is! In the past I have had a rather robust sex life that included lots and lots of orgasms, either achieved with one of my partners, or alone, at Viper’s behest or for his pleasure. Owning me meant owning my sexual pleasure; owning my orgasms. He could grant them, demand them, or take them away. So it’s been a little bit of a sea change for me lately, not having to ask for an orgasm; not risking being told no; not playing with myself or having orgasms for his pleasure. Enough of a change that for the first 2-3 weeks, I didn’t think about sex or orgasms even once. It was like my body and imagination had closed up shop. And then, along with the #AtoZChallenge, I saw that April was also the month of the #30DayOrgasmFun meme, hosted by Tabitha Rayne. I had participated in itRead more …

#AtoZChallenge – A is for Abundance

This month I am once again participating – officially, this time – in the A to Z Blogging Challenge. It’s been for around for a few years now – ten, actually, according to their website, though I have only participated in it unofficially once, last year. (I didn’t hear about it till after the cut-off to sign-up had closed, so I just did it on my own.) I can’t recall just now if I actually finished it (what, me, not finish a thing? ha!) but I do remember that it gave me a boost in motivation and a prompt to write to daily, which I always enjoy. This time I am an “official” A to Z’er – you can find me listed on this spreadsheet along with dozens of other bloggers. Originally I hadn’t planned to blog to a theme (isn’t sex and kink and relationships enough of a theme?) but after givingRead more …

The Erotic Journal Challenge Catch-Up Week

I was thrilled when Brigit of Brigit Writes announced that she was posting a “catch-up” week for the Erotic Journal Challenge prompts, allowing writers to answer any (or all) of the questions they had missed the first time around. (Or to add another post to one they had answered previously.) I had answered the first one, but had been too busy or just felt that I didn’t have enough to say that I hadn’t already said about the others. So this gives me a chance to answer some of the questions I missed in Q & A format, and not feel like I have to do a whole blog post on each one. We’ll see how it goes – if I get long-winded on any of them I may break it out on its own. Prompt #2: Discovery – When did you discover your own sexuality? For example, when wasRead more …

A Hairy Question

Mar 23, 2019 | Posted by in Relationship Stuff, Writing About Kink | 0

V asked me today, “What would you do/how would you react if I were to tell you to not color your hair or do anything to it? To just let it be?” He wasn’t asking me about hairstyles. It’s a complicated question, especially right now, when our D/s is on the back burner, waiting for us to figure things out again. Or me to figure things out again. I’m not sure I could say it’s all the way on the back burner, though: I was over at V’s last night, and little bits of it crept in, here and there. I’m not talking about out-and-out play; we did play, but it felt oddly bereft of D/s, more like topping. Which was fine. I needed a good ass-whipping, and that was what I got. But in many of our other interactions last night, the D/s was there, simmering under the surface,Read more …

February 11 – Pain as Pleasure

I wanted to write about this topic for Prompt 5 of Brigit Delaney’s Erotic Journal Challenge, “Hurt,” but I’m me so of course I waited too long and the link-up is closed. I’ll link you to it anyway (click the icon below) so you can read what other people wrote. There’s some powerful, heart-wrenching, and incredibly brave writing out there. People really suck sometimes. But that’s not the only way to be hurt sexually. I’m talking about “good” hurt, obviously. And if you’ve read here for any length of time, you know that pain, for me and a lot of people, can be pleasurable, or can lead to pleasure. After play tonight that started with the above picture, V and I talked about our beginnings in BDSM. And I commented on having to ask my then-husband to hurt me. At the time, he was okay dabbling in rope, spanking meRead more …

Strategy 101

Jul 4, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Who Is Pieces of Jade? | 0

I’m not good at strategy games. Chess is so far beyond my ken as to be a game played in a foreign language. I just can’t think that far in the future, can’t begin to anticipate my own moves, much less anyone else’s. And I have absolutely no desire to manipulate people or situations. In case it isn’t abundantly clear, I’m talking about how I manage myself in relationships as well. I’m not good at games where each side is premeditating and calculating every move. When I try to anticipate, to do something that will effect a specific result, I invariably fall short. Yes, I can see a little ahead. I’m not blind to consequences and how what I do now affects what happens later. But I’m not good at strategizing. At planning my moves to achieve a certain outcome. And I don’t necessarily want to be. I mean, IRead more …

June 16 – Roleplay

Do I or Don’t I? This week’s Kink of the Week is role play. (Yes, I wrote for it; no, I didn’t post it in time to link to it. Boo.) Anyway, I started this post out firmly in the camp of, “I hate roleplay!” and was relieved to read Kayla’s post on the topic: she dislikes role play for many of the same reasons that I do. It seems like everyone else is into it, in some form or another, and I’ve always felt a little like the odd man out. Oh, there have been very specific, in-the-moment times of something like roleplay in V’s and my sexual history that have been hot, but in general I am not fond of the typical kinds of roleplay: sex with the boss, doctor/nurse, sexy strangers, etc. So it was nice to find someone else who isn’t as well. (After reading aRead more …

And another challenge

Jun 4, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Every Damn Day in June | 0

This time, my own – the challenge I feel to write when I feel like I do right now. I don’t like to write here when I feel like everything is shit. When I’m down, when it feels like nothing will work out right, I don’t want to pollute this space. Also, I am very aware that words I write here are not private. I always have to censor myself to a degree. And frankly, it’s hard to do when I feel like this. I have, in fact, written this post 3 or 4 times and deleted how and why I am feeling the way I am. But it’s Every Damn Day, so here I am. There was retail therapy this afternoon. I know, not a good way to deal with emotional distress. But I got some adorable dresses out of it. Of course it will cause more angst when theRead more …

Primaries and Hierarchical Poly

May 25, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 1

I’ve been doing a lot of painting lately, which lends itself to a lot of rumination. And what I’ve been pondering the last few weeks is the notion of “primaries,” in relationship structure. In particular, my relationship structure with Adam. Adam and I have been living apart for some time now (a little over a year.) And as I’ve noted, I really enjoy my solo life – and in addition, I enjoy the time I do spend with him a lot more. I’ve finally structured my life in a way that works for me: I see V twice a week, with him over at my house 2 Mondays a month and one weekend night (I’d like this to be more flexible, with some daytime activities or additional time thrown in there, but for now I am okay with things); I see Adam one weekend night and one weekend day, plusRead more …

S, T, U…

OMG I have been running non-stop since the Thursday before last. The last update I made, as I sat poolside in Vegas, may have been the last moment I had to just sit and contemplate things until now, and even now I am sneaking in this writing while I am at work. So yeah, the #AtoZBloggingChallenge fell by the wayside — though I kept up (more or less) with my daily orgasms, which effort may be chronicled here in future if I ever get time to do so. BUT…since I still have one day left in April, I thought I’d try to fill in the alphabet gaps between the letter R and the letter Z in one extended blog post. Just because. Author’s note: I only got through to U before I had to take a break. Sooo…there will be more to come, because I’m stubborn like that! S isRead more …