Tag Archives: poly

Whoa

Nov 16, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff | 2

Whoa – I’m feeling good. Maybe it’s because my medication has settled out, or because I’m coming out of menopause-imposed insanity, but I don’t think so. I think it’s because…well, maybe I’m learning some stuff. Maybe I’m finally figuring out what I want my life to look like and how I want to live it. Maybe it’s because I am shaping my life to be that – what I want. I have been doing the emotional labor and now am making the life decisions to put me there: where I want to be. It feels good. It feels right. Also, because some of these are BIG life changes, it’s a bit scary. But that’s okay. Scary-ness in the service of living authentically can be managed. Even savored a bit. I am embracing my life as a solo poly person (for a good explanation of the term, see this excellent article:Read more …

Taking Back My Power

In the “better late than never – no really,” category, I’m chiming in on the SafeworD/s Club, “Tell Me About…” prompt for “Power Exchange.” Of course the meme has already closed, because that’s how I roll (ugh). But this topic is top of mind for me right now, as I navigate the ways in which V’s and my relationship has changed during this D/s hiatus. Power exchange, freely and consensually giving up one’s power to another, is a heady thing. It is at the core of being a submissive, of desiring to submit to another. To submit to, to give one’s power to, another. For me it is obviously sexual; perhaps not so obviously, it also has deeper meaning than just the sexual. When I started this with V, I stated, quite emphatically, that D/s was not what I wanted. I wanted a play partner. Someone to “do the thingsRead more …

The thing I hate most about migraines is…

Jul 14, 2019 | Posted by in 2019 Smut Marathon, Kink & Scenes | 4

There really isn’t one thing. There are lots and lots of things. The pain The lost time The boredom The helplessness The inconsistency – never knowing how/when they will strike And tonight: Losing out on a great night with two amazing women at a play party, and Losing out on getting to vote for the first time in the Smut Marathon. I’d put a lot of time and effort and thought into the entries, but knew I was cutting it close by not actually putting my votes in when I knew which three I would choose. I had notes, though, and this time I wanted to post feedback in the form on the post. I had my feedback about halfway typed up, and took a break to hang out with my friends at the kink event we are at, sure that I’d be fine on time this afternoon. Then the migraineRead more …

Day 27 – A Musical Night

When it;s good, it’s very, very good. V came over last night. We went to listen to music at the Garden and have a little picnic; it was a pleasant evening, if a bit cold and wet, since it had stormed earlier. But at least the free concert wasn’t canceled – they have already canceled 3 out of the 4 weekly concerts due to rain so far this summer. One of the reasons V switched our date nights to be alternating Tuesday/Wednesdays was so that we could go to them – it’s a favorite summertime activity of mine – so the cancellations have been doubly disappointing. Anyway, in spite of the not-ideal conditions, it was nice, feeling like we were on a date. Walking back to the house afterward we got into the never-ending discussion we have regarding schedules, though. When we got to the front door I put myRead more …

Day 7 – Risks

I’ve missed and/or jumbled up my days. My participation has not been 100% on #DearJune either, but I’m okay with that. Well, I think about it a bit, because I couldn’t be me if I didn’t let it bother me a little, but not so bad as it might have done. I give myself a frowny face and then move on. Anyway, here’s the post I made on Instagram for (what I think was) Day 7, the prompt being “risks.” On the heels of a post that felt entirely appropriate at the time – and I will not deny my own experience of things – but in the light of day I realize was…an emotional reaction, and possibly not the best representation of the situation…this post means a lot to me. It reminds of the risks I took when I decided to give my submission and my love to another.Read more …

Waiting for the tide to come in.

May 27, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff | 7

I was thinking about writing a Masturbation Monday tonight, but realized I don’t have it in me just now. I did work on my entry for the Smut Marathon, so there’s a spark of sexiness floating around out there, but really, it’s a feeble spark, and easily doused. It’s been that way for several weeks now. No sex, no kink, no erotic energy to speak of. There’s lots of reasons – life has been chaotic in ways just not conducive to sexiness – but damn. I miss it. I can’t remember the last time I had a good BDSM scene. And Saturday night’s sex with V was the first in almost the same amount of time. I feel like we’ve forgotten what that kind of energy feels like. And though I know (hope) it will come back, there’s this fear that it won’t. Kind of like the D/s has notRead more …

Forward by the scruff of my neck

I’m moving forward, if incrementally, into a more stable emotional space. I am hoping that feeling better will spur my motivation to write, as well – you know, like the sexy, naughty stuff – but we will see. At the moment, I’m not feeling any sexy, naughty stuff, much less doing any sexy naughty stuff, so it’s kind of a moot point, but, you know, it could happen. Or I could write fiction. As it stands, V and I are kind of in a holding pattern. We’re not off, but we’re not exactly on, either, as I struggle through the emotional morass I have found myself in. We’re holding still. We’re communicating (sometimes a lot) and mostly in healthy ways, and still seeing each other our two times/week. Last weekend we even saw each other in the middle of a weekend day (gasp.) But things aren’t entirely – or even remotely –Read more …

A Mish-Mash of Things

Dec 19, 2018 | Posted by in Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff, Wicked Wednesday | 3

I suppose that should be “things” lowercase t, but it’s a title, so it’s “Things” capital-T, even though it’s really just a random, unsorted, largely unrelated and probably not too interesting mish-mash of thoughts. I haven’t had time or inclination to write much, until this moment really, when I trudged up the third stairway to my room, a little wobbly from a very strong white Russian, but not wobbly-headed enough that I couldn’t contemplate putting fingers to keyboard. And suddenly I wanted to. My second WR is next to me on my nightstand, so we shall see how far I get. LOL Really, I should be spending every spare moment crocheting a gift I am making for my sister, but obviously I am not. Hah – crochet. That will be my number one not-very-interesting thing. Crochet I am making this for my sister. Which, frankly, freaks me out a littleRead more …

Two Weeks-at-a-Glance

I started using a daily journaling app on my phone so I can quickly jot down what I do each day. Not journaling like here, but more bullet points to jog my memory. Or that I can refer back to when I’m struggling to remember what the heck I did last Thursday, or what happened on a certain play date (“Was that the time you made me push the ball around on the floor, or the time I had to roll the dice to see what implement you were going to use next?”) The cool thing is that it connects with my calendar, the gps on my phone, with Facebook and my photos app automatically. It has an activity feed that shows where I was when, and pulls in any FB posts or pictures I took, and then I review it, decide if I want to keep it, or atRead more …

Strategy 101

Jul 4, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Who Is Pieces of Jade? | 0

I’m not good at strategy games. Chess is so far beyond my ken as to be a game played in a foreign language. I just can’t think that far in the future, can’t begin to anticipate my own moves, much less anyone else’s. And I have absolutely no desire to manipulate people or situations. In case it isn’t abundantly clear, I’m talking about how I manage myself in relationships as well. I’m not good at games where each side is premeditating and calculating every move. When I try to anticipate, to do something that will effect a specific result, I invariably fall short. Yes, I can see a little ahead. I’m not blind to consequences and how what I do now affects what happens later. But I’m not good at strategizing. At planning my moves to achieve a certain outcome. And I don’t necessarily want to be. I mean, IRead more …