Tag Archives: relationships

Taking Back My Power

In the “better late than never – no really,” category, I’m chiming in on the SafeworD/s Club, “Tell Me About…” prompt for “Power Exchange.” Of course the meme has already closed, because that’s how I roll (ugh). But this topic is top of mind for me right now, as I navigate the ways in which V’s and my relationship has changed during this D/s hiatus. Power exchange, freely and consensually giving up one’s power to another, is a heady thing. It is at the core of being a submissive, of desiring to submit to another. To submit to, to give one’s power to, another. For me it is obviously sexual; perhaps not so obviously, it also has deeper meaning than just the sexual. When I started this with V, I stated, quite emphatically, that D/s was not what I wanted. I wanted a play partner. Someone to “do the thingsRead more …

Day 27 – A Musical Night

When it;s good, it’s very, very good. V came over last night. We went to listen to music at the Garden and have a little picnic; it was a pleasant evening, if a bit cold and wet, since it had stormed earlier. But at least the free concert wasn’t canceled – they have already canceled 3 out of the 4 weekly concerts due to rain so far this summer. One of the reasons V switched our date nights to be alternating Tuesday/Wednesdays was so that we could go to them – it’s a favorite summertime activity of mine – so the cancellations have been doubly disappointing. Anyway, in spite of the not-ideal conditions, it was nice, feeling like we were on a date. Walking back to the house afterward we got into the never-ending discussion we have regarding schedules, though. When we got to the front door I put myRead more …

Day 7 – Risks

I’ve missed and/or jumbled up my days. My participation has not been 100% on #DearJune either, but I’m okay with that. Well, I think about it a bit, because I couldn’t be me if I didn’t let it bother me a little, but not so bad as it might have done. I give myself a frowny face and then move on. Anyway, here’s the post I made on Instagram for (what I think was) Day 7, the prompt being “risks.” On the heels of a post that felt entirely appropriate at the time – and I will not deny my own experience of things – but in the light of day I realize was…an emotional reaction, and possibly not the best representation of the situation…this post means a lot to me. It reminds of the risks I took when I decided to give my submission and my love to another.Read more …

Waiting for the tide to come in.

May 27, 2019 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff | 7

I was thinking about writing a Masturbation Monday tonight, but realized I don’t have it in me just now. I did work on my entry for the Smut Marathon, so there’s a spark of sexiness floating around out there, but really, it’s a feeble spark, and easily doused. It’s been that way for several weeks now. No sex, no kink, no erotic energy to speak of. There’s lots of reasons – life has been chaotic in ways just not conducive to sexiness – but damn. I miss it. I can’t remember the last time I had a good BDSM scene. And Saturday night’s sex with V was the first in almost the same amount of time. I feel like we’ve forgotten what that kind of energy feels like. And though I know (hope) it will come back, there’s this fear that it won’t. Kind of like the D/s has notRead more …

#AtoZChallenge – W is for a Wonderful Weekend of We

I am home after the long weekend. Had a great time, in spite of my initial “traveling alone” anxieties, which, as I drove home today, seemed so silly and out-of-proportion. Who was that that had felt all that? But, hindsight is always like that; I recognize, in the now, looking back, that that is anxiety’s job, to blow up every fear and insecurity into looming beasts. I’m getting better about recognizing that in the moment, though, too, and taming the anxiety beast with appropriate self-care, so there’s that. It’s all a process. In spite of those initial rough moments, the weekend blossomed in lovely, unexpected ways. There was the right amount of kink and play, the right amount of togetherness between V and I, Ad and I and the three of us. The three of us had a very satisfying scene on Friday night, and V and I spent aRead more …

#AtoZChallenge – Q is for Questions

So this post started on…oh…Thursday? But here it is Saturday and since it IS Saturday, and since I am definitely giving the shout-out to some pretty amazing bloggers that happen to host some kick-ass memes, I’ll include this as a “Share Our Shit Saturday” post. We will not be silenced. Q is for Questions Questions, I have so many questions! I really do. About everything. Well, maybe not about “everything.” Mostly about people. What makes them (me) work, why we do the things we do, who we are and how we got here. Our motivations, our hopes and dreams and sorrows and joys. Things like that. This blog is mostly that kind of questioning. Introspection. Musing on the human condition thru my own experiences. Though sometimes I recognize it for the self-centered endeavor that it is. Me, my life, my thoughts… Except that I’ve seen the domino effect that meRead more …

#AtoZChallenge – A is for Abundance

This month I am once again participating – officially, this time – in the A to Z Blogging Challenge. It’s been for around for a few years now – ten, actually, according to their website, though I have only participated in it unofficially once, last year. (I didn’t hear about it till after the cut-off to sign-up had closed, so I just did it on my own.) I can’t recall just now if I actually finished it (what, me, not finish a thing? ha!) but I do remember that it gave me a boost in motivation and a prompt to write to daily, which I always enjoy. This time I am an “official” A to Z’er – you can find me listed on this spreadsheet along with dozens of other bloggers. Originally I hadn’t planned to blog to a theme (isn’t sex and kink and relationships enough of a theme?) but after givingRead more …

The Erotic Journal Challenge Catch-Up Week

I was thrilled when Brigit of Brigit Writes announced that she was posting a “catch-up” week for the Erotic Journal Challenge prompts, allowing writers to answer any (or all) of the questions they had missed the first time around. (Or to add another post to one they had answered previously.) I had answered the first one, but had been too busy or just felt that I didn’t have enough to say that I hadn’t already said about the others. So this gives me a chance to answer some of the questions I missed in Q & A format, and not feel like I have to do a whole blog post on each one. We’ll see how it goes – if I get long-winded on any of them I may break it out on its own. Prompt #2: Discovery – When did you discover your own sexuality? For example, when wasRead more …

A Hairy Question

Mar 23, 2019 | Posted by in Relationship Stuff, Writing About Kink | 0

V asked me today, “What would you do/how would you react if I were to tell you to not color your hair or do anything to it? To just let it be?” He wasn’t asking me about hairstyles. It’s a complicated question, especially right now, when our D/s is on the back burner, waiting for us to figure things out again. Or me to figure things out again. I’m not sure I could say it’s all the way on the back burner, though: I was over at V’s last night, and little bits of it crept in, here and there. I’m not talking about out-and-out play; we did play, but it felt oddly bereft of D/s, more like topping. Which was fine. I needed a good ass-whipping, and that was what I got. But in many of our other interactions last night, the D/s was there, simmering under the surface,Read more …

Forward by the scruff of my neck

I’m moving forward, if incrementally, into a more stable emotional space. I am hoping that feeling better will spur my motivation to write, as well – you know, like the sexy, naughty stuff – but we will see. At the moment, I’m not feeling any sexy, naughty stuff, much less doing any sexy naughty stuff, so it’s kind of a moot point, but, you know, it could happen. Or I could write fiction. As it stands, V and I are kind of in a holding pattern. We’re not off, but we’re not exactly on, either, as I struggle through the emotional morass I have found myself in. We’re holding still. We’re communicating (sometimes a lot) and mostly in healthy ways, and still seeing each other our two times/week. Last weekend we even saw each other in the middle of a weekend day (gasp.) But things aren’t entirely – or even remotely –Read more …