Tag Archives: relationships

Dear Younger Me…

Today is a better day. I woke up eager to write, in fact so much so that I left V’s house early so I could come in early to work to do so. I’d forgotten how much I like to be in the office before anyone else. Our hallway is dark, their offices too, this side of the building is quiet. It’s not that different when they are here, to be truthful, but without the extra bodies it’s just…peaceful. Oh, ha, I know why it feels good: it reminds me of working from home. It reminds me of getting up in the morning just at dawn in the Treehouse. I miss it there, sometimes. How colorful it was, how peaceful up there in the trees. I don’t miss not being able to walk everywhere; not having a wonderful park right in my neighborhood and the Botanical Gardens practically next door;Read more …

And another challenge

Jun 4, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Every Damn Day in June | 0

This time, my own – the challenge I feel to write when I feel like I do right now. I don’t like to write here when I feel like everything is shit. When I’m down, when it feels like nothing will work out right, I don’t want to pollute this space. Also, I am very aware that words I write here are not private. I always have to censor myself to a degree. And frankly, it’s hard to do when I feel like this. I have, in fact, written this post 3 or 4 times and deleted how and why I am feeling the way I am. But it’s Every Damn Day, so here I am. There was retail therapy this afternoon. I know, not a good way to deal with emotional distress. But I got some adorable dresses out of it. Of course it will cause more angst when theRead more …

Unexpected

Every damn day, right? I think I have more “profound” thoughts first thing in the AM, but my morning was spent making breakfast for V, getting a little whacking-at-my-request from him, and then seeing him off while I went outside to work in the yard before it got too hot. That was five hours and four garbage bins full of weeds ago. The backyard looks neater, if not green, because it’s never really had grass growing in it. But we have tiger lilies and I planted hostas, and now I have a raised bed full of vegetables that are actually growing. Like CRAZY. So I’m happy with my day’s labor. If a bit sore. Adam just got here with soaker hoses, a splitter and a timer, too, to automate the watering process. And now we are looking at sod for a small, square piece of the yard. I’m not aRead more …

When even a massage doesn’t help.

May 31, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Relationship Stuff | 0

This evening my massage therapist asked me what I’d like to get out of my massage, and I said, in complete honesty, please just take me out of my head. I had had a rough day on multiple fronts, not the least of which was my car – after I had driven it away from the mechanic, supposedly fixed – doing the same thing that had gotten it towed to the mechanics in the first place. Back to the drawing board. There were other things, too, interpersonal things, relationship bullshit that I really think we should all just be beyond, and just general life crap. Sometimes, really? I want to just say fuck it and walk away. Unfortunately this tale doesn’t have a happy ending like, oh she was so amazing all my worries were massaged away! Nope, instead she chatted the entire massage. I’ve had her before and notRead more …

Primaries and Hierarchical Poly

May 25, 2018 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade | 1

I’ve been doing a lot of painting lately, which lends itself to a lot of rumination. And what I’ve been pondering the last few weeks is the notion of “primaries,” in relationship structure. In particular, my relationship structure with Adam. Adam and I have been living apart for some time now (a little over a year.) And as I’ve noted, I really enjoy my solo life – and in addition, I enjoy the time I do spend with him a lot more. I’ve finally structured my life in a way that works for me: I see V twice a week, with him over at my house 2 Mondays a month and one weekend night (I’d like this to be more flexible, with some daytime activities or additional time thrown in there, but for now I am okay with things); I see Adam one weekend night and one weekend day, plusRead more …

S, T, U…

OMG I have been running non-stop since the Thursday before last. The last update I made, as I sat poolside in Vegas, may have been the last moment I had to just sit and contemplate things until now, and even now I am sneaking in this writing while I am at work. So yeah, the #AtoZBloggingChallenge fell by the wayside — though I kept up (more or less) with my daily orgasms, which effort may be chronicled here in future if I ever get time to do so. BUT…since I still have one day left in April, I thought I’d try to fill in the alphabet gaps between the letter R and the letter Z in one extended blog post. Just because. Author’s note: I only got through to U before I had to take a break. Sooo…there will be more to come, because I’m stubborn like that! S isRead more …

G is for Goodbye

Apr 7, 2018 | Posted by in A-Z Blogging Challenge, Life Before | 2

“Goodbye Norma Jean,” in particular. Why that? Well. Let me tell you. I’d been flailing about for a few days, reaching for, and never quite finding, a good “G” word. Of course there is “Gratitude.” And that is always an important one for me to muse on, to internalize, to write and think about. But…every other word so far has felt like…inspiration. A gift, urging me to write, in a time when writing hasn’t been a thing. How do I explain it, when a thing is so important to you…when it’s such an integral part of you that imagining it gone is inconceivable…and then it is. Gone. Just like that. A neat, precise incision cut out of your very center, like with an apple corer. A hole punched in you. That was how my writing has been for me. Until just these last few days. I don’t know what itRead more …

E is for Everything

I go from nothing to everything in the blink of an eye. One day I’m not writing at all, not participating in any blogging memes, not even thinking about writing for publication again…the next I’m in a daily writing challenge, mulling over new calls for submission, and writing like a mad woman. I’ve barely exercised for weeks and all of sudden I have joined a yoga studio, have downloaded a daily exercise app, and am looking at a biking challenge. I don’t go to the grocery store or cook at home for weeks, and then I lose myself in the grocery store for two hours, carefully planning out each breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next week two weeks. And oh yes, lest I forget: I have decided to also participate in a daily orgasm meme. Manic much? No, it’s not that. But I do reach a point of saturation,Read more …

A New Year’s Eve at the Beach

Round about a month ago, I got the sudden impulse to see the ocean before the year ends. I know, I’d just spent five days in the mountains, and a long weekend at Lake Michigan this past summer, but nothing works to soothe my soul like the sound of waves, the smell of salt water, the sight of the endless horizon of the sea. Adam, being the lovely soul that he is, agreed to indulge me, and we planned a twelve-and-a-half-hour road trip to the Carolina coast on the spur of the moment. And that’s I ended up by the beach for four days over the New Year’s Eve weekend, and I couldn’t have been happier. I had enjoyed my time with Les in the mountains, and felt I was very relaxed there, but after just a couple days away with Adam I realized I probably wasn’t as relaxed as IRead more …