Tag Archives: relationships

Loneliness & Other Failures

Feb 22, 2016 | Posted by in 2016 February Photofest, Being Poly | 5

Loneliness is a hard nut to crack. It’s not as easy as “spend time with people” – I’ve spent a good part of my life lonely in the middle of a crowd. It’s not as easy as “spend time with your significant other” – I spent a good portion of my second marriage feeling lonely. Not even the old standby “you have to love yourself!” erases it – I don’t believe this is about loving myself or not. So what is it about? Why do I feel lonely sitting in a bar at a munch while everyone drinks and laughs and talks; or at a play party watching everyone around me engaging with each other joy and abandon? Why do I feel lonely at times as I lay next to a lover after play, physically satiated but filled with a longing I can’t place? Why did I feel lonely last nightRead more …

On Being Owned

Jan 23, 2016 | Posted by in Relationship Stuff | 4

I’ve talked about ownership and being owned a few times over the years over on Kink & Poly, what it meant to W and what it meant to me, within the context of our relationship. I think I distilled it down to its essence pretty well in “Owning My Sexuality as an Owned Slut,” as my sexuality was where W owned me the most. This is what I said there (originally in response to a thread on Fetlife that asked how you “prove” your sluthood – a stupid question, but one that actually made me think about what not means to call oneself a “slut” if you are owned.) I consider my sexuality to be “owned” by my BDSM partner. That is one of the tenets of W’s and my relationship. But, I do consider “owning my sexuality,” owning my identity as a sexual woman, with needs and desires ofRead more …

Turning Corners

Jan 22, 2016 | Posted by in Being Poly, Everyday Jade, Life Before | 9

I’m feeling some need to bring you, my dear readers, up-to-date on my life. I have received so many kind notes, emails and comments, and I feel truly blessed by the kindness of strangers, and those not so strange, alike. I am humbled by it, to be truthful. I know most of you that followed K&P are now aware of the tragedy that befell our little triad last year. And some of you have seen as I’ve stumbled forward, one halting step at a time, into a new life. It was not the one I had chosen, and I can also say that it wasn’t the one that I wanted, although “wanting” is a moving target. Does wanting this life now mean that I’m glad I don’t have the other? Does being happy now mean I’m happy without W? I don’t think so, but I still struggle with these feelingsRead more …