Tag Archives: V

#AtoZChallenge – N is for No

“No” might seem to be an odd thing to be grateful for. Especially for a submissive woman who really likes to please. But in the past year I have learned the power of no – even when it hurts or isn’t want I want to hear or say. I’m not talking only about my own “no’s.” My No’s I have finally realized/accepted a truth about myself. I used to think I was shy, although I admit, even then, it didn’t feel like it quite fit. I learned, particularly in the past year, that what I am is an introvert. That doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy socializing. When I finally do get myself “out there,” interacting with people in a social setting, I enjoy it very much! But my enjoyment has a very definite window of opportunity, and when that window closes, I’m done. It could be three nights inRead more …

#AtoZChallenge – A is for Abundance

This month I am once again participating – officially, this time – in the A to Z Blogging Challenge. It’s been for around for a few years now – ten, actually, according to their website, though I have only participated in it unofficially once, last year. (I didn’t hear about it till after the cut-off to sign-up had closed, so I just did it on my own.) I can’t recall just now if I actually finished it (what, me, not finish a thing? ha!) but I do remember that it gave me a boost in motivation and a prompt to write to daily, which I always enjoy. This time I am an “official” A to Z’er – you can find me listed on this spreadsheet along with dozens of other bloggers. Originally I hadn’t planned to blog to a theme (isn’t sex and kink and relationships enough of a theme?) but after givingRead more …

A Hairy Question

Mar 23, 2019 | Posted by in Kinky Stuff, Relationship Stuff | 0

V asked me today, “What would you do/how would you react if I were to tell you to not color your hair or do anything to it? To just let it be?” He wasn’t asking me about hairstyles. It’s a complicated question, especially right now, when our D/s is on the back burner, waiting for us to figure things out again. Or me to figure things out again. I’m not sure I could say it’s all the way on the back burner, though: I was over at V’s last night, and little bits of it crept in, here and there. I’m not talking about out-and-out play; we did play, but it felt oddly bereft of D/s, more like topping. Which was fine. I needed a good ass-whipping, and that was what I got. But in many of our other interactions last night, the D/s was there, simmering under the surface,Read more …

Forward by the scruff of my neck

I’m moving forward, if incrementally, into a more stable emotional space. I am hoping that feeling better will spur my motivation to write, as well – you know, like the sexy, naughty stuff – but we will see. At the moment, I’m not feeling any sexy, naughty stuff, much less doing any sexy naughty stuff, so it’s kind of a moot point, but, you know, it could happen. Or I could write fiction. As it stands, V and I are kind of in a holding pattern. We’re not off, but we’re not exactly on, either, as I struggle through the emotional morass I have found myself in. We’re holding still. We’re communicating (sometimes a lot) and mostly in healthy ways, and still seeing each other our two times/week. Last weekend we even saw each other in the middle of a weekend day (gasp.) But things aren’t entirely – or even remotely –Read more …

February 11 – Pain as Pleasure

I wanted to write about this topic for Prompt 5 of Brigit Delaney’s Erotic Journal Challenge, “Hurt,” but I’m me so of course I waited too long and the link-up is closed. I’ll link you to it anyway (click the icon below) so you can read what other people wrote. There’s some powerful, heart-wrenching, and incredibly brave writing out there. People really suck sometimes. But that’s not the only way to be hurt sexually. I’m talking about “good” hurt, obviously. And if you’ve read here for any length of time, you know that pain, for me and a lot of people, can be pleasurable, or can lead to pleasure. After play tonight that started with the above picture, V and I talked about our beginnings in BDSM. And I commented on having to ask my then-husband to hurt me. At the time, he was okay dabbling in rope, spanking meRead more …

February 9 – Back from Ohio

Feb 9, 2019 | Posted by in February Photofest, Kinky Stuff, Memes & Prompts | 1

Sunday Night, Home Again What a week I’ve had. I got very ill with a stomach bug the Tuesday before we left for Ohio, then came down with a vicious head cold Wednesday morning, the day before I was to go over to V’s before we headed out of town. It was to be our first weekend away, alone at a kink event, in almost 3 years. But instead of the pre-event debauchery I had imagined, I spent Thursday night drugged on Nyquil with a box of tissues curled up in the bed we share at his house, by turns whimpering because I felt so bad and apologizing because I felt so bad. I was medicated to the gills all the way up to Ohio in the car on Friday, although by that time the worst had passed, and 8 hours after we started out I was feeling more myselfRead more …

Ask for It

Jan 30, 2019 | Posted by in Wicked Wednesday | 14

It’s 3 a.m. We’ve just climbed the stairs to bed after a night out, in which we’d had drinks and talked to people, but not played. I was too cold, and even when we got home, asked if we could just build a fire and cuddle on the couch until I got warmed up. I ended up falling asleep in his lap. “Get me a cane from the cane bag,” he says now. I had taken note that he had had me bring the cane bag up to the bedroom, something he seldom does. But it was 3 a.m. I looked askance at him. “The skinny white plastic one,” he said. I hunt through the cane bag, a little shiver going through me. I know the cane he’s talking about: thin, hard plastic. Short but severe. I bring it back to the bed where he is laying on his back,Read more …

The Hidden Power of Lingerie

Jan 29, 2019 | Posted by in Lingerie is for Everyone, Memes & Prompts | 4

I wish I’d gotten the full – undressed – version of this outfit, instead of just this snap at a restaurant we went to after the play party – because the whole ensemble was chosen specifically to showcase the lingerie beneath. Instead, all I have is this little glimpse… I love lingerie, and was so excited when I saw it is the topic of a new weekly meme. I can’t imagine that I will write – or take pictures – for it every week; like wearing lingerie, writing for (or primping for) the prompt will probably be more of a deliberate treat, something I think about, plan for, and look forward to. Like this past Saturday. This was the full outfit. I’d picked it out especially to show off the black bra (and the black lace panties you can’t see.) It was a play party I was dressing up for,Read more …

Random nonsense, buttplugs and writing. Oh, and brussel sprouts.

Jan 22, 2019 | Posted by in Kinky Stuff, Life Before, Relationship Stuff | 0

So, yeah. Here it is the (almost) beginning of the week and I am looking at my schedule for the next few days, and thinking about writing, and feeling both excited (yay, writing!) and guilty (how the fuck did I lose three straight days off work without writing? Or exercising. Or crocheting. Or, really, ANYTHING I had planned to get done??!??) My bed is soooo seductive. Especially when nighttime in my bed has been rather sucky, what with that whole “Nope, not gonna sleep til, like, 3 a.m. Or maybe 4. Yeah. 4 a.m. seems a reasonable time to go to sleep.” I know, I know, if I didn’t sleep all day I wouldn’t be awake all night. But I swear it started the other way around. “He started it!” But okay. Here we are. Where we are, by the way, is a Tuesday evening when it was too coldRead more …